What’s the wankiest job title you’ve come across?

[Funcamper]

I’ll start:
Forest bathing practitioner
Auxiliary dining consultant ( in a very posh hotel)
Head of talks (what??)

What is a forest bathing practitioner? Does it involve water or forest-y sounds?

Forest bathing is what we used to call ‘going for a walk in a wood’. Apparently you can now ‘train’ to help people do this right and become a ‘ practitioner’ (!)

I don't know, but I sometimes wonder if there's such a thing as a conference organizers' conference organizer. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Team Leader 😩

Director of First Impressions (receptionist).

Digital Craftsmen.

No, no, noooooo you hippity hipster boss! It is and always will be Web Developer.

Stop trying to make Digital Craftsmen happen. It's not going to happen.

Digital storyteller

Strategy Rockstar

Made my teeth itch

Director of people

Social prescriber.

Nope, I dont have a scooby either.

I meet loads of people with ridiculously long job titles that give absolutely no clue what they actually do. I say that as someone with a long impenetrable job title myself.

Director of Awesome

One day, I would like to be a Director of Awesome

An ex colleague of mine moved on to be Head of Win Work, which always used to make me smile on his LinkedIn.

Strategy Rockstar? Who would dare...?

I would leave and never come back.

Chief Disruptor.

The guy who held the title was a complete twat as well.

I complained to one of those woke-y chocolate places when my Easter egg didn’t have any accompanying chocolates, as advertised. They sent a faux-matey response along the lines of “Awww, don’t you just hate it when that happens - not surprised you are sad, I definitely would be too..” etc, etc. The person sending it was styled “Chief Happiness Officer”. It proper gave me the rage. Next time I’m going to cut them out and go straight to the Dail Mail, complete with my SadFace.

Lead strategist. We didn’t have any other strategists so he’s not leading anything and he had as much strategic insight as the photocopier.

I once worked somewhere the CEO decide that we would work better as a team if we didn’t have job titles to constrain ourselves. I have an unusual name so I got away with just using my name, we had others like purchase ledger Sheila and Big Keith in IT. It didn’t last long.

Director of Place

(Local council)

Sad face, offending egg and a big thumbs down photo

Sandwich technician (sandwich prepper)

Stock replenishment executive (shelf stacker)

Chief Disruption Officer (in a fin tech). At least they had the grace to look embarrassed by it.

I saw a civil service job ad once that was something like "Head of alcohol" and briefly fancied applying... Then I realised it was probably within an antisocial crime or substance abuse division, no fun.

Change champion

Sandwich artist

NHS
Trust lead of well-being

What a load of bollocks