just written a suicide note

[crazycoward]

been depressed for ages so why wont anyone believe me

Hello CC,
You sound very similar to me - I have written countless suicide notes (well, about 3 I guess) and attempted quite a few times. I am alot better at the moment, mostly due to the ADs - sorry if I have missed anything, are you on ADs? DO you really want to die or just not keen on living anymore? I know I have very rarely actually wanted to die, only just escape. I had alot of support from the Mental Health Team - they came and took me out, came and just chatted, I have the crisis team who will come and a moments notice or just talk on the phone to me if I need it. If you are feeling maybe abit lonely etc. try Homestart aswell. Also as I think you are doing meeting some local MNers. I think people have trouble taking it overly serious because it's hard to get your head around and people do brush it off as attention seeking rather than anything more serious. I was going to say something else now I can't remember! {{{hugs}}} We are always here, some say MN isn't the place but alot of people do listen and help, it's good if you don't want to phone someone etc. But you do need long term help in some form or another. xxxxxxxxxx

About the housing, if you are really unhappy maybe it's worth a few months of upheavel (I can't spell!) for a lifetime of happiness. Can you move at all? I have had similar problems with my DH aswell, walking in and out so I can totally sympathise with that. Is the relationship getting you down? Is it just up and down now or all the time? Sometimes you can't get better until you have solidness around you (if you get what I mean) in terms of partner (or not), a home you like - things like that. I am waffling now, you can see why I changed my name to this! xxx

Glad to see you came back today, CC. See - there are lots of lovely mumsnetters who have been through this - I know they are very supportive. They have helped me through some difficult times (& probably don't even know it because I namechanged).

Hi, you can email me on [email protected]

I'm not in Birmingham though, but very close in Warwickshire

I really understand I have been very very low but since then I moved house and even had another baby and am mostly on my own with 4 kids so it is still a struggle but I am happy now because I LOVE where I live ...and it makes all the difference in the world to me.
If I were you I would take one day at a time for now but tell yourself that it will get better and that you will find a nice place to live as soon as possible. It's essential to like where you live for you and your children. Keep strong, don't give up you can get through this.

I have emailed you CC

someone once said that it is an awfully permenant solution to a short term problem.

CC how are you? If I don't see a reply here or get one via email I will phone you this afternoon!

HI crazycoward. Think about changing your Nickname for a positive one like bravewoman.
PLEASE, think about what you have done for your kids. You are a wonderful woman and a great mum.
It is not your fault yhings are going wrong. You deserve happiness, have faith, it will come, just believe everything is going to be ok. We do not know you and we care about you. Fell as if we were giving you a huge huge.
Please answer
How are you feeling now?

Thinking of you crazycoward - please let us know how you are
x

For those that are worried.

Just phoned CC she is ok just tired as been up with poorly kids.

Thans for letting us know mummyhill.
All the best CC

wow! people do care thanks evryone, nice talking to you mummyhill

No problem CC. As I said on the phone, anytime you need to let off steam or just have a chat pick up the phone.

Thanks for letting us know mummyhill & crazycoward.

hi everyone. feeling really depressed again. i am finding it so hard, daughter was ill thursday with vomitting, better on friday but then on saturday ds was grumpy all day with teething and cough and cold, then afternoon started throwing up, was up all night, he finally dozed off and i started coughng and sneezing and woke him up, had to do three loads of washing in the night as sick everywhere, and now girls got the sickness bug again and we all have bad cough and cold. husband got sickness bug too so hes more grumpy and useless than usual, ok i cant say hes usepess when hes ill but its so hard trying to cope with everything

Ok CC it will get better, it is gonna be a tough slog while they are all ill and will take a while to get into a sleep pattern. I am only at the other end of the phone if you can/need to talk will understand if hubby is there and it is therefore difficult. Same system is open to you as the members of dwd. Call me, say hi it's cc(you name obv) and put the phone down, i will call you back straight away.

If it starts to get too much again please call me.

Thinking of you, take care.

Is there any way you would consider having visits from a mother and baby mental health team? They have a really good team in my area and the community mental health nurse is excellent. Its nothing to be ashamed of, its far better to talk to someone about how you feel. You may find it easier talking to a professional who doesn't know you personally. Your G.P would be able to refer you. Request your G.P does a home visit. (They get paid enough and with three under 5 its very difficult to get down the G.P's.)
Good Luck

How are you and the kids today sweetheart?

OH dear, I'm sorry things are so hard at the moment. I hope you are all feeling better.

Thinking of you x