just written a suicide note

[crazycoward]

been depressed for ages so why wont anyone believe me

I moan all the time about my DD's, but at least I have a remotely supportive husband. Still can't take it sometimes. You are so strong. Our kids need a teacher like you who knows how to feel. Please let us know you are feeling better. Can't remember when I felt so much for some one on mumsnet. We need good teachers like you, and your kids need a role model as strong as you are. Hope sooooo much you feel better about yourself in the morning. XXX

don't know if it is still relevant as have benn with a crying child.

you are allowed a cowardly namechange.

you sound like you have a lot of reasons to feel overwhelmed.

professional help with the birth can be found in a support group called birth trauma, I believe. someone will come along with the right name. You can also speak to your local chapter of the NCT and ask if their post/antenatal leader is able to speak to you about your birth experience so that you can begin to come to terms with understanding the difficulties you experienced and the emotions you are feeling now. they are a volunteer organisation so you don't have to be a paid up member to get support.

living in a new place is hard. I am in the same position as i am from overseas and had a similarly lonely experience. it does take time to find new friends but it does happen.

tell us your region as far as you are comfy with and i can imagine you will have MNers in the area who will be willing to help you make friends.

i am in birmingham, i so wish i wasnt

thanks again night night

crazycoward- there are people here who will listen and try and help; if you want to talk to someone in rl, you can go into a Samaritan centre and talk to someone face to face, in confidence.
Hope you keep talking..

i'm assuming you are off to bed and will let us know how you are feeling in the morning?

(it ain't so bad, i have had 4 hrs sleep already)

Night night, CC - please pop back tomorrow to let us know how you are. I'll be back later...

Night all

I must go as well, I need to get up in 3 hours

How are things? xx

We believe you.
You aren't having much fun at the moment by the sound of it.

Hi Just read this . Hope you are ok . Dont worry about name changes sometimes it is better/easier to talk to strangers . Sounds like you need more support . Try your gp , they should be more understanding in PND now. They will know local support groups , counselling services etc etc .

hi CC
hope you are ok this morning, just wanted to say I have been there[too many times] and also have 3 very young children. Just coping with them alone is hard nevermind if you are suffering depression on top. You said that the mw knows a bit, for her to help or the gp then you need to tell them more, tell them how close you are to the brink etc. I know it is scarey but believe me it is worth it.

CC,

I had PND when m eldest was a baby, and I got cliose to ending it all on more than one occasion. I told my HV and started treatment (counselling and ADs) and I started to feel better fairly quickly. Please go to your GP or speak to your mw. They will be understamnding and helpful (and if they are not, see someonbe else who is!)

Keep talking on here as well. There are ghundreds of women on here who have or are in a similar situation, so you are never alone

As fir the no friends thing, I know how isolating it can be when you have had a new bvaby, doubly so when you move somewhere new. you can't just go and get a mjhob and meet new peope, but there are ways you can make friends. I used to live in Birmingham, and I know that there are M&T groups etc thet you can join (nnot everyone's cup of tea though, but it might be a start) Otherwise, there are quite a lot od Birmingham meet ups ojn here that you could join in with.

We sare all here if you ever need to taslk

Hope you are feeling better today xxxx

crazycoward, I'm not far from Brum if you'd like to meet up for a coffee or something. Happy to come your way if you fancy a chat

Just read the posts CC please please use us and talk or as others have suggested get support from homestart or speak to the samaritans.
Leaving your children is never the best option I know life can be hard, (especially with 3 under 5 - I had 2 under 3 and that was hard enough) but look at your DC and know that they are beautiful and doing well because of YOU.

I also sympathise with no hatm water, we were without for ages last year, and it;'s thoroughly bloddy miserable.

If you don;t mind me asking, whereabouts in Brum are you?

cc - y ou have done a great thing by posting this thread! a chance to talk and there is nothing quite like the support of mn! i'm sorry you are having a difficult time of it, it sounds hard, really hard, and life can chuck some doozies our way sometimes, but you are loved and needed by your children. keep talking to us x

CC
How are you this morning? Just read this and was glad that there were some insomniacs about to lend a ear and a shoulder.

Please go back to your GP, talk to your MW. PND is horrible but you WILL get through it. Once you are feeling stronger you can face the relationship problems.

Do you have any family who could support you for a bit?

I moved twice to new areas when my DCs were babies, I know how difficult it is and how easy it is to sit at home and fester. I had to force myself to go out of the house some days. I hope you find some lovely RL friends soon who can offer you support and advice.

CC, hope you are feeling better today, I'm in Birmingham too, if you would like a chat.

CC - just seen this. Keep talking. We'll listen!

would love to talk to some birmingham mumsnetters

Oh glad you're about CC. There are plenty from Brum Did you get any sleep?

Hang in there CC. I moved when my 1st was about 5 weeks to an area I knew no-one and it was the hardest year of my life by far. Keep talking, will check back later.

Hi CrazyCoward

I am a birmingham mumsnetter and I also suffer bouts of depression if you want to talk please email me on mummyhillandtheminihills at yahoo dot co dot uk.

CC, my email is mezrich at hotmail dot com I'm more than happy to meet up with you for a chat