Reports of Zombie's demise...

[IamtheZombie]

have been greatly exaggerated. She may be a wee bit battered and bruised, but she bends and doesn't break.

Most of you probably know her back story but, for those who don't, here's a very brief recap:

The last 2 1/2 years have been absolutely horrendous: family crises, a breast cancer diagnosis and 20 months of treatment for that, bereavements and sorting out her late MIL's estate. As you can imagine, she found it a struggle at times.

Just under a year ago, DZOH began an "inappropriate" on-line relationship with a woman he "met" playing scrabble on Facebook. At the time he was spending most of his time at his mum's house in Nottingham sorting things out and putting it on the market. The on-line relationship fairly quickly progressed to a full blown physical affair. The woman lives in Wales and he would pay her train fare to come to Nottingham to see him. Zombie was fully aware of everything that was going on and tried to do everything she could to save her marriage. He left Zombie in mid-February, first staying in Nottingham before moving in with her in mid-March. He continued to come back to DDS to take Zombie to her hospital treatments. In mid-May he started making reference to coming back to her. He finally did so in mid-August. Two weeks after he came back they went to Kos for a fortnight. Halfway through the holiday he told her that he was leaving as soon as they returned to the UK. Which he duly did on Friday, 13th September.

Zombie went through all the trauma, drama and devastation between October and August. That is behind her. She's relieved that that it is finally over. A few nights ago she realised that she was sitting here completely relaxed and smiling for no reason. It's as though an enormous weight has been lifted from her.

She's currently packing up his belongings, deciding what she needs to replace, etc. He will come with a man and a van in a few weeks time to remove everything. There are obviously other pracicalities to be sorted out but they are doing so in as amicable a manner as possible.

Can Zombie please ask those of you who are Facebook friends with her NOT to say anything publicly on there about any of this.

Onwards and upwards.

(((Hugs Zombie)))

You are a good person.

Zombie can steal my just-turned 3yo DS3. He has a gorgeous halo of ginger curls. And likes to 'snuggle'. He is also charged by Duracell, mind you...

As no-one picked up on my amusingness, Hubsibobs was a joke!

Just to be clear.

Ich gehe schlafen jetzt bitte

It's been so windy tonight, not only have we had smoke blowing back through the wood burner vents, we've had flames belching through the lower one!
For 40 years I have known/lived with about 8 stoves but I never see'd that a'fore!
Yes, we need a chimney cowl.

Pigeons sit on top of chimney cowls and coo until you want to shoot them. Flames do sound extreme though. Weather has been absolutely vile here as well.

Zombie has had a long day. Early start to get to a hospital appointment only to find the clinic was running late as the consultant had had a puncture on the way in. Plans for a couple of other errands had to be abandoned as she needed to get home to finish and file a tax return. And pay the tax due.

She finished all that around 9.30pm and has now had dinner and is finally relaxing a bit.

Whisky anyone?

You need to ask?

With such a late supper you need a digestif.

I actually really like the sound of pigeons cooing. Even on top of chimneys.

Brighton pigeons don't appear to do that, they just terrorise the blackbirds and shit on the washing!

I would like to wish everyone a kind, friendly, safe and peaceful week.

And no flooding

Z

Belching flames and pigeons - you could get Le Pige Flambé

No pigeons here, or rain & floods. Unusually mild winter, no snow yet and the upside of that is no wild boar either. Ruined my favourite part of the garden a couple of years ago, it's unusable now. Could have done with some flame (throwers) then.

Wild boar sounds very exotic, irredeemable damage is a pain though.

Do you live in a forest Fid?

Ugh, wouldn't fancy eating these pigeons. The abundance of those and bloody seagulls means we can't feed the other birds which is a real shame.

Just discovered that getting all relevant paperwork for the wedding, having it all legalised here, and translated, and then legalised there, is going to be nailbitingly close to the date!
I've been through all this exact caper once, why is nothing ever straightforward?
Eeeeeeeeeeeek!

We have squirrels falling down the urban chimney and I HATE THEIR HUMANY MOANEY WEEPING

I feel your pain BBB I am always proofreading/finessing translations of textpanels for my sister-always takes far longer than I guesstimate

And my itunes is fucked-up

And I am suddenly having to supervise homework/lunchboxes etc again-I am too tired and old for this parenting lark

I ate some lovely pigeon when I lived in Italy

Z

Fid

BBB

AAaargghhh

God, huge sympathy for the homework and lunchboxes, ce n'est pas amusant. ((sol))

Le Pigeon en France tasted like a cross between pheasant and chicken.
Nice, fiddly as you usually get a whole one (shudder). Not as bad as the sparrows on toast - that's really whole - beak and toes!

I'd bet they've got a good recipe for squirrel over on the low carb threads

Sorry 'bout your iTunes, can't help, sorry, Luddite.

AAaaargghh [cointreau]

I am just toolightweight cheapdate to do cointreau Aarghh

Our squirrels are way too skanky to do things with

I need Fid to help me to be tactful about correcting a Germanspeakers text

SPARROWS ON TOAST? iSN'T THAT illegal cept for the queen?

I am actually good at homework-but its just that I have got my qualifications

#oldskool

No no, that's swans on toast that only the queen is allowed.

Finished cointreau, Christmas leftovers.

Wafting up to bed now xxx

Oh actually sparrows are illegal when they have drowned in Cognac, unless you eat them with a napkin over your head.

I fink.

Squirrels baked in clay are def not ahem 'vernacular'

I imagine sparrows are a bit boney and just a vessel to suck the cognac outta

Swans are the devils Queens feast

Your last posts make for queasy early morning reading.

sans the flowers are very prettily arranged and very welcome. If you need help with tact/text, just holler.

I do live near a forest and there are more boar around because there are fewer hunters according to my neighbour. It's all a bit Hansel & Gretel around here. But with vineyards and lots of Mercedes.

School reports were out on Friday and my 3 could do with more homework supervision Am still traumatised by doing sex ed with FidGirl. Not the subject matter but the intricacies in bloody German. We were stuck on a worksheet about sperm (that sounds odd) and I cunningly delegated it to exH when he was here at the weekend.

I'll be glad when they finish the topic, one charming girl at school asked me what I know about erectile dysfunction. She's 11.

God I feel queasy again

Sorry for putting you off your breakfast Fid
Not sure about the Mercs, but the rest of your surroundings sound lovely.

"Mrs. Fid, what do you know about erectile dysfunction please?"

"Well, CG, I've never really come across it." !

I would be a very bad teacher.

Or possibly a very good teacher

I take some meds that advised me I would get erectile dysfunction

Does the forest 'do' mushrooms Fid?

<

Or stuffing the wild boar with wild mushrooms in the wild wild wood?

I have never been expelled

Ooh yes, cooked for 2 days in a pit, with hot rocks and fragrant boughs.

A kind of German Jerk

Now sol darling, where would you like to be expelled from?

all the wild wild wood is Dante's Inferno-sorry

I ate wild boar in either Bavaria or Austria -I became a vegetarian shortly after

I have the most awful ingrowing toenail and I am in agony-have done a bit of self-surgery but it is sooo painful

Bugger, I recognised it but couldn't remember where from - no need to be sorry. My ignorance/crap memory.

One of my low points as a mother was sitting with my 10 year old daughter while she had an ingrown toenail operated on [
She used to bite them secretly in bed!

I've heard you're supposed to cut a V shape in the middle of the top of the nail and it re-compensates. Sounds slow progress though. It's the sort of thing homeopathy would be good for if you're into that.

The wind here tonight is epic, never heard it this bad before. I keep thinking about people with nowhere to go

All this talk of boar and swan sounds rather mediaeval. It's sleeting here today, I quite like the idea of a roaring fire, drinking mulled mead and being attended to by a handsome lute player.