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Original poster

A daughter is a daughter for life, a son is a son until he gets a wife

30 replies

handlemecarefully · 09/02/2004 15:39

Somebody said this to me recently.

What do you think - any truth to this saying or is it a load of old baloney?

P.S. don't shoot the messenger - I'm not saying I go along with this, just curious to hear your views (especially since I am due to have a baby boy in April)

I hope its a load of old baloney!

OP posts:
Janh · 09/02/2004 15:42

I think it depends on the sons and daughters, hmc!
It can be like that but doesn't have to be. Some mumsnetters get on much better with their MILs than their own mothers.

fio2 · 09/02/2004 15:45

I do actually think it is true to a degree >ducks out the room

Blu · 09/02/2004 15:45

Sexist claptrap, from the days when wives looked after men domestically, and daughters were always supposed to take the respnsibility for care of elderley parents.

On 2nd thoughts.......

Jimjams · 09/02/2004 15:47

I think it depends on the MILS

emmatmg · 09/02/2004 15:47

I hope not.

3DS'S here so I'll have to make sure I'm a really nice MIL and better than the other one

motherinferior · 09/02/2004 15:49

DP gets on well with his mum, I get on very badly with mine.

mieow · 09/02/2004 15:52

I have a great relationship with my parents, but they have let me "go" as it is. DHs mum still thinks he lives with her, phones up when he is ill, makes sure he has taken his tablets, stresses if he is a few minutes late than expected,
So the saying here is Sons are their babies for life!!!

AussieSim · 09/02/2004 16:01

I know if anything happened to my mum that my brother would be useless and I would be landed with it all - worries me actually.

I have one DS and have this idea that I would prefer to have a family of boys - they seem less complicated to me and I was such a handful as a teenager, but I do think that there is a risk that they aren't so attentive to their parents.

Festivefly · 09/02/2004 16:27

It is not true, i will kill the whores who try to take away my children. Be warned

ks · 09/02/2004 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Thomcat · 09/02/2004 16:37

I wouldn't say that I'm hugely closer to my mum than DP is too his. However when it comes to babysitting it's me that contacts my mum about it so the MIL doesn't get as much of a look in with her grand-daughter which is a shame. I do try and ring her and offer the baby-sitting to her first sometimes but it's more natural for me to call my mum and it just always falls to me to make the plans, so......

jenie · 09/02/2004 16:38

I can see some truth in it, sorry to anyone who disagrees but I'm very close with my mum and my brothers not so much now they are living with partners - when they lived alone they were much closer than they are now.

I see my mum atleast one weekend a month and my brothers less than that about 3hrs a month.

I phone my mum at least once a day and my brothers call her (well she calls them) once a week.

IYSWIM

jenie · 09/02/2004 16:40

Although on the other hand with MIL I call her once a week regardless of weather or not dp has called her, I call her for silly reasons as well ie how long to boil an egg - for some reason I can never remember To ask advice and to arrange to stay with her without dp so I guess that I'm quite close to MIL as well - lucky old me having 1 mum and 1 very close MIL

fio2 · 09/02/2004 16:44

I get on well with my MIl (apart from her silly comments sometimes!) I ring her to see how she is and stuff. Dh just cant be bothered. She rings at a weekend and I answer the phone and he is sitting there waving his hands and shaking his head ' saying Im not in, dont give the phone to me!etc etc' I like to speak to my mum but he says his mum still treats him like a child so he would rather not talk to her (sad really) I hope my son doesnt do this when I get older

GeorginaA · 09/02/2004 16:47

Well I don't get on with my mother at all but get on fantastically with my MIL - so naturally dh, ds and I tend to spend more time with MIL. I tend to ask MIL parenting advice/babysitting rather than my own mother, so in our case it's rubbish

wilbur · 09/02/2004 16:50

I'd say my dh gets on better with his mum now I'm on the scene. We certainly see more of her now we have kids. DH and MIL used to push a lot of each other's buttons and argue about his career, but that has calmed down now. Plus of course, I'm fabulous, and she wouldn't want to lose me

twiglett · 09/02/2004 16:55

message withdrawn

nutcracker · 09/02/2004 17:18

No one is ever having my son he's mine mine mine

ANGELMOTHER · 09/02/2004 17:19

Well my dd's are going to live with me FOREVER

eddm · 09/02/2004 17:45

Oo Fio2 my dh does that too and it drives me up the wall. I'm not particularly close to his mum ? if we weren't related by marriage we wouldn't ever be more than acquaintances ? but it is always me who ends up talking to her. When my ds grows up he'd better bloody well phone me or I'll post all his nudy baby photos to his boss

suedonim · 09/02/2004 18:06

Ime with my own son, it's true! He got married and went to live in California - about as far away as you can get. But we're emotionally close and communicate by email and phone all the time. I thimk he appreciates us more now than when he was younger, actually. Meanwhile 16yo dd can't wait to get the h*ll out of here, teehee!

My brother is closest to our mum out of the four of us but tbh, none of us are that close to her, she's not that sort of person.

SenoraPostrophe · 09/02/2004 18:30

lol! May be true for UK sons, but tell that to any Spanish mother!

Hulababy · 09/02/2004 20:22

Agree with some of the others - depends on the children involved. DH and myself are close to both of our sets of parents (and inlaws). Being married and becoming parents has not lessened this at all.

Paula71 · 09/02/2004 21:24

Noooooooo!

My ds twins may only be 2 but are already forming a female fan-base locally! I think the saying is true but will do my best to make sure any chosen partner is made a part of the family and my boys feel the want to always be close to me. I would be heartbroken if anything other than that happened.

The thing is my mum's brothers are twins and one went to Australia, the other married a right witch of a woman who successfully tore the whole family apart and made my mum an outcast (apparently from the moment she got engaged to my Uncle way back in the 60s who is a total spineless wimp!) So I know the dangers and if any such woman dares sniff at my boys she'll be gone! Grrrrr!

arabella2 · 10/02/2004 12:47

My dh as well gets on better with his mum than I do with mine...So I don't think this theory rings true I suppose in a way he doesn't have the "girly chats" with her that one of her daughters does and will go quite a long time without ringing her but I still think he gets on better with her than I do with mine (sorry, repeating myself).