Talk

[zombieslayer]

Hi I am a lurker. I am just posting to check out the accuracy of my knowledge of mumsnet. Can someone let me know if these are accurate and if I have missed anything out (note it is after 12pm, so too late for April Fool's jokes!)

1. Naice ham is a reference to a shopping list a poster found in a supermarket.

1. Pombears refers to a dinner party where the OP and her DH were offered a variety of nursery type food. At a later dinner the OP's DH offered everyone pom bears.

1. The poo Troll posts about a variety of improbable poo situations often involving manual evacuation, including the infamous thread about a woman pooing her clothes in St Pancras Rail Station. A Mn's sister was dispatched with clean clothes to said toilet to find them empty.

1. Zombie is a very nice zombie who lives in a Trade Marked Dustbin and has promised to warn all Mn's of any imminent zombie invasion.

1. Honeydragon has only flambeed 1 dog on a thread about the most intelligent MNs. (Although I have never understood how the reference to only 1 dog is a defence!)

1. Netmums is either a perfectly reasonable alternative site with greater support than here. Or the tool of the devil full of tickers, anti SN comments, racism, sexism and homophobia - and no swearing! Although some posters belong to both, including MrsDeVere who was forced by netmums to reduce the size of her sparkly tickers after a complaint by another poster.

1. All self respecting MN's do a maintenance wash and put veet down the plug hole.

1. Benefit threads never end well.

1. An OFRS is a rucksack to keep by the door in case of a zombie invasion or any other disaster. There are many threads discussing this with the more practicaly minded including dry foods, battery torches, weapons and those strictly in mum mode including baby wipes and favourite DCs toys.

10.The moldies were a group in 2008 who fell out with people here and left to start their own site, only to never be heard from again.

11. Swearing is perfectly acceptable here and any thread asking for less swearing, especially from a newbie, will not end well.

12. Somone will always post - what business is it of yours to any thread commenting on somebody else's family - even in AIBU.

13. Using the term Huns is not acceptable.

14. There is no such thing as populars, unpopulars or royalty, just those who are long time lurkers, prolific posters, or post occasionally.

15. Anyone can post here - men, childless women, even dogs as long as they can type and have their own MN account.

16. A sock puppet is a second user name that some posters use to post support for their point of view when no-one is agreeing with them - particularly useful in AIBU.

17. Anyone typing "think of the children" is always being ironic.

18. Friday night is bumsex night i.e. there should under MN Terms & Conditions always be a thread that involves anal sex.

19. Centreparcs that you may previously have thought of as an overpriced middle class holiday destination, is in fact a hotbed of bumsex.

20. Fathers 4 Justice regularly post here berating mums for being men hating. The "correct" response is to talk about the weather, where you are taking your kids that day or to offer round biscuits.

21. Whether lurking or posting, MN is addictive.