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21 facts about MNs - Are they accurate?

175 replies

zombieslayer · 01/04/2012 13:37

Hi I am a lurker. I am just posting to check out the accuracy of my knowledge of mumsnet. Can someone let me know if these are accurate and if I have missed anything out (note it is after 12pm, so too late for April Fool's jokes!)

  1. Naice ham is a reference to a shopping list a poster found in a supermarket.
  1. Pombears refers to a dinner party where the OP and her DH were offered a variety of nursery type food. At a later dinner the OP's DH offered everyone pom bears.
  1. The poo Troll posts about a variety of improbable poo situations often involving manual evacuation, including the infamous thread about a woman pooing her clothes in St Pancras Rail Station. A Mn's sister was dispatched with clean clothes to said toilet to find them empty.
  1. Zombie is a very nice zombie who lives in a Trade Marked Dustbin and has promised to warn all Mn's of any imminent zombie invasion.
  1. Honeydragon has only flambeed 1 dog on a thread about the most intelligent MNs. (Although I have never understood how the reference to only 1 dog is a defence!)
  1. Netmums is either a perfectly reasonable alternative site with greater support than here. Or the tool of the devil full of tickers, anti SN comments, racism, sexism and homophobia - and no swearing! Although some posters belong to both, including MrsDeVere who was forced by netmums to reduce the size of her sparkly tickers after a complaint by another poster.
  1. All self respecting MN's do a maintenance wash and put veet down the plug hole.
  1. Benefit threads never end well.
  1. An OFRS is a rucksack to keep by the door in case of a zombie invasion or any other disaster. There are many threads discussing this with the more practicaly minded including dry foods, battery torches, weapons and those strictly in mum mode including baby wipes and favourite DCs toys.

10.The moldies were a group in 2008 who fell out with people here and left to start their own site, only to never be heard from again.

  1. Swearing is perfectly acceptable here and any thread asking for less swearing, especially from a newbie, will not end well.

  2. Somone will always post - what business is it of yours to any thread commenting on somebody else's family - even in AIBU.

  3. Using the term Huns is not acceptable.

  4. There is no such thing as populars, unpopulars or royalty, just those who are long time lurkers, prolific posters, or post occasionally.

  5. Anyone can post here - men, childless women, even dogs as long as they can type and have their own MN account.

  6. A sock puppet is a second user name that some posters use to post support for their point of view when no-one is agreeing with them - particularly useful in AIBU.

  7. Anyone typing "think of the children" is always being ironic.

  8. Friday night is bumsex night i.e. there should under MN Terms & Conditions always be a thread that involves anal sex.

  9. Centreparcs that you may previously have thought of as an overpriced middle class holiday destination, is in fact a hotbed of bumsex.

  10. Fathers 4 Justice regularly post here berating mums for being men hating. The "correct" response is to talk about the weather, where you are taking your kids that day or to offer round biscuits.

  11. Whether lurking or posting, MN is addictive.

OP posts:
crazynanna · 01/04/2012 13:41

You forgot Matthew Wright is an arsehole Smile

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2012 13:41

Very comprehensive you have been lurking a lot.

Fruit Shoots
Greggs Sausage Rolls
P&C Parking Spaces
Disabled Loos & Prams

May or may not need to be added. Grin

MissPenteuth · 01/04/2012 13:42

That one goes without saying crazynanna Grin

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2012 13:43

Plus Peter Andre loves his kids crazy. Grin

crazynanna · 01/04/2012 13:43
Grin
zombieslayer · 01/04/2012 13:45

How could I have forgot Fruit Shoots and Gregg sausage rolls
P& C parking spaces and disabled loos and prams?- I just refuse to go there.

  1. Fruit Shoots and Greg sausage rolls are the drink and food of the devil and only suitable for the DCs of netmums.
  2. Matthew Wright's research team seem very interested in threads here and strangely threads discussed on MN often appear on Matthew Wright's show shortly afterwards.
OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2012 13:48

Wise not to add the other two zombie you obviously know your stuff. Wink

KurriKurri · 01/04/2012 13:49

Excellent Zombieslayer Grin - I think your post should replace the 'Talk Guidelines'

crazynanna · 01/04/2012 13:49

I think number 23 is somewhat too long.

I would just replace it with 'Matthew Wright is an arsehole'

zombieslayer · 01/04/2012 13:49

sparklingbrook - This is not an AIBU thread you know!

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 01/04/2012 13:50

Very good. I've noticed a few more threads that seem to get turned out every couple of weeks now too.

1 - AIBU to take my child out of school for a holiday?
2 - AIBU to expect parents to reply to birthday invitations?

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2012 13:54

Sorry zombie. Sad

Hassled · 01/04/2012 13:55

You have been lurking very conscientiously. Am impressed. You'd get an A* in the MN GCSE that I'm currently running past the EdExcel examinations board and will be coming to all good FE colleges soon.

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 01/04/2012 13:55

The answer to 'Am I pregnant?' in conception is invariably if you have had unprotected sex, yes, you could be pregnant. Now go poas

zombieslayer · 01/04/2012 13:57

Hassled - just as well I didn't mention debates about "declining standards of education" and "grade inflation" then.

OP posts:
zombieslayer · 01/04/2012 14:01

Thanks Kurri - you have reminded me.

  1. Stealth boasting refers to posts that include irrelevant details of wealth or achievements of kids. For example, AIBU to be annoyed that my DP burnt tea that he was supposed to be keeping an eye on while I supervised the pool boy cleaning out our large heated indoor swimming pool.
OP posts:
redexpat · 01/04/2012 14:05

Recurring annual AIBUs include crap valentines, crap Christmasses, and the cost of school uniform.

zombieslayer · 01/04/2012 14:09

And sparklingbrook - I hope you know I was joking Grin

Kurri - is your dog okay?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2012 14:14

Grin zombie

Psammead · 01/04/2012 14:19

I thought it was Victoria rather than St. Pancras.

zombieslayer · 01/04/2012 14:22

Was it? Okay got that one wrong, thanks.

OP posts:
Psammead · 01/04/2012 14:26

Oh well don't take my word for it, I just seem to remember it was Victoria, but then I've been telling people I'm 32 recently which is just not true!

KurriKurri · 01/04/2012 14:33

Yes thank you zombieslayer, she survived the unprovoked assault, and went on to retain her title as most educated dog on MN. (Despite grumblings from bad losers people who felt grade one gymnastics was more impressive than a counting, typing dog) Grin

Bohica · 01/04/2012 14:33

Very good and I am ashamed to admit I learned nothing new which confirms my addiction to MN Blush

JuliaScurr · 01/04/2012 14:34

Funny you should mention it, because dd and I were in a disabled parking space enjoying listening to PeterAndree, eating our Greggs sausage rolls washed down with fruitshoots, when suddenly....

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