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Original poster

Child sent home

43 replies

Kc1111 · 05/03/2024 19:45

So I got a phone call from my lb nursery today at 3pm they rang to say he has had a 10 minute nap since arriving at 7.30am and won't go back to sleep/nap and is super clingy and upset and they are lost as to what to do. I suggested what I usually do to which they stated they have already tried this and nothing is working and asked me to come pick him up, is this normal?

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TheOccupier · 05/03/2024 19:47

I'd be unimpressed. Did you go and get him? Is he new at that nursery?

Toblerbone · 05/03/2024 19:47

Were you at work when they called? If so I'm afraid I would have refused to come. If he wasn't ill then I'm sure they could manage for another couple of hours until pick up time.

EasyPeelersAreNotTheOnlyFruit · 05/03/2024 19:48

How old is he? I'd expect them to be able to cope with this, tbh, but equally I wouldn't want him really distressed for ages.

Original poster
Kc1111 · 05/03/2024 19:49

Yes I was at work and was just so confused when they called to say that and didn't knownif this was normal

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Thehonestbadger · 05/03/2024 19:50

So this is the type of situation where they are requesting you get him for his best interests as he’s clearly ‘not himself’ but ultimately you’re able to say no.
He's not in breach of any of there policies ‘temperature, upset tummy…etc’ so he doesn’t HAVE to be collected they just don’t think he’s going to settle staying.

It comes down to whether you think they actually have tried everything and tried hard. You have to remember with nursery you aren’t paying for 1:1 care so they have to be ‘manageable’ alongside other kids.

Original poster
Kc1111 · 05/03/2024 19:50

EasyPeelersAreNotTheOnlyFruit · 05/03/2024 19:48

How old is he? I'd expect them to be able to cope with this, tbh, but equally I wouldn't want him really distressed for ages.

He is 10 months old

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Original poster
Kc1111 · 05/03/2024 19:54

TheOccupier · 05/03/2024 19:47

I'd be unimpressed. Did you go and get him? Is he new at that nursery?

Yeah I did go to collect him as didn't know what to do I just assumed that if they ask I have to go and pick him up and no he's been going since January

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supercalafragilisticexpealidocious · 05/03/2024 19:55

Reading between the lines it's because he is distressed and couldn't be calmed so needed picking up. Most nurseries assume the parent will want to collect a child if they are miserable and can't be calmed down. That's what I would want, particularly for a ten month old baby.

LordSnot · 05/03/2024 19:56

How was he when you picked him up and how has he been this evening?

Original poster
Kc1111 · 05/03/2024 19:57

Thehonestbadger · 05/03/2024 19:50

So this is the type of situation where they are requesting you get him for his best interests as he’s clearly ‘not himself’ but ultimately you’re able to say no.
He's not in breach of any of there policies ‘temperature, upset tummy…etc’ so he doesn’t HAVE to be collected they just don’t think he’s going to settle staying.

It comes down to whether you think they actually have tried everything and tried hard. You have to remember with nursery you aren’t paying for 1:1 care so they have to be ‘manageable’ alongside other kids.

Yeah I understand that I know that sometimes he is difficult to get down for a nap especially if he's overtired but with enough rocking he does usually drop off. I just didn't know what my rights were with having to pick him up and don't want him to be distressed but also can't keep missing work as had to go and collect him last week for something unrelated to this

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supercalafragilisticexpealidocious · 05/03/2024 19:59

@Kc1111 it sucks but unfortunately it goes with the territory of having a child at nursery. You'll have times when they seem to be at home more than at nursery. Hopefully when he settles and gets a bit older you will have far less of this. In the meantime try and find a back up like a friend or family member who can help, alongside being up front with your employer and trying to make up the time later in the evening if possible.

solarised · 05/03/2024 19:59

They are ringing you as your child is upset and won't settle for them. Your child hasn't slept since 7:30-3pm. They've clearly been trying to console him. The ball is then in your court. Do you want your child to potentially remain upset or do you want to go and get them.

Original poster
Kc1111 · 05/03/2024 20:01

supercalafragilisticexpealidocious · 05/03/2024 19:55

Reading between the lines it's because he is distressed and couldn't be calmed so needed picking up. Most nurseries assume the parent will want to collect a child if they are miserable and can't be calmed down. That's what I would want, particularly for a ten month old baby.

Yeah I know thats what they intended for him to not be distressed which i understand but when I went to collect he wasn't crying or upset he just didn't want to be put down and I had to collect him the week before due to something unrelated to this. So was just surprised

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Original poster
Kc1111 · 05/03/2024 20:02

LordSnot · 05/03/2024 19:56

How was he when you picked him up and how has he been this evening?

He was okaii when I picked him up just wanted to be held and then happy all afternoon more cuddlt then usual but didn't end up napping and went to bed at usual time

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EarringsandLipstick · 05/03/2024 20:06

supercalafragilisticexpealidocious · 05/03/2024 19:55

Reading between the lines it's because he is distressed and couldn't be calmed so needed picking up. Most nurseries assume the parent will want to collect a child if they are miserable and can't be calmed down. That's what I would want, particularly for a ten month old baby.

Exactly. Cannot understand the 'not impressed' comments.

I'd be very impressed. If I couldn't leave immediately from work, I'd explain that. But I'd absolutely want to know about a clingy upset baby, and thankfully my 3 DC were all cared for by such a creche.

EarringsandLipstick · 05/03/2024 20:08

What are you surprised about? Your baby is unhappy, they've done their best to settle him, then they let you know.

I'm sure they'd be fine if you weren't able to come, they are just letting you know.

Yellowpopit · 05/03/2024 20:08

If actually be impressed with this as it shows they are responsive and didn’t want to just leave him to be distressed after trying everything. They are professionals so must know when a baby has just had enough and knew they had tried everything

Original poster
Kc1111 · 05/03/2024 20:10

solarised · 05/03/2024 19:59

They are ringing you as your child is upset and won't settle for them. Your child hasn't slept since 7:30-3pm. They've clearly been trying to console him. The ball is then in your court. Do you want your child to potentially remain upset or do you want to go and get them.

Yes I get the reason they are ringing me and I understand their reasonings just never heard of that happening before. He had napped just not for very long and wouldn't resettle. He was collected but I didn't feel I had an option to collect him or wait it out just that I had to come and get him unfortunately it's difficult for me to just get up and leave due to my work I have to find cover before I can leave if that makes sense

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Original poster
Kc1111 · 05/03/2024 20:15

EarringsandLipstick · 05/03/2024 20:08

What are you surprised about? Your baby is unhappy, they've done their best to settle him, then they let you know.

I'm sure they'd be fine if you weren't able to come, they are just letting you know.

It wasn't the fact he was upset I'm glad they contacted to let me know it was the you need to come get him and not are you able to collect him that shocked me sorry I wasn't very clear about that

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TastyTakoyaki · 05/03/2024 20:17

I’m afraid as a childminder, if I had a child who hadn’t napped and had potentially been upset most the day, I would call.
Is it just tiredness or does your DS need more time to settle in?

Original poster
Kc1111 · 05/03/2024 20:20

Yellowpopit · 05/03/2024 20:08

If actually be impressed with this as it shows they are responsive and didn’t want to just leave him to be distressed after trying everything. They are professionals so must know when a baby has just had enough and knew they had tried everything

I didn't say i was unimpressed

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Original poster
Kc1111 · 05/03/2024 20:29

TastyTakoyaki · 05/03/2024 20:17

I’m afraid as a childminder, if I had a child who hadn’t napped and had potentially been upset most the day, I would call.
Is it just tiredness or does your DS need more time to settle in?

He's been with the nursery a while and had no issues until today, he is a nightmare to get back to sleep if he is overtired I know I've been there and it is hard work and he is a nap fighter so I understand it isn't always easy, I was just surprised as I'd never heard of a nursery ringing due to this, I am a first time mum and new to all of this so I don't know what's right and what wrong. It's just difficult as I can't just up and leave work as I need to be replaced before leaving if that makes sense

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solarised · 05/03/2024 20:33

Kc1111 · 05/03/2024 20:10

Yes I get the reason they are ringing me and I understand their reasonings just never heard of that happening before. He had napped just not for very long and wouldn't resettle. He was collected but I didn't feel I had an option to collect him or wait it out just that I had to come and get him unfortunately it's difficult for me to just get up and leave due to my work I have to find cover before I can leave if that makes sense

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Ah right. Maybe they thought it was cruel to leave him any longer so phoned?

Userxyd · 05/03/2024 20:33

supercalafragilisticexpealidocious · 05/03/2024 19:55

Reading between the lines it's because he is distressed and couldn't be calmed so needed picking up. Most nurseries assume the parent will want to collect a child if they are miserable and can't be calmed down. That's what I would want, particularly for a ten month old baby.

I agree. He's a baby, and you don't want him to be upset every time he goes there. If he's had a tough day I'd be pleased they prioritised his wellbeing tbh.

Original poster
Kc1111 · 05/03/2024 20:35

solarised · 05/03/2024 20:33

Ah right. Maybe they thought it was cruel to leave him any longer so phoned?

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Yeah I understand that

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