Child sent home

[Kc1111]

So I got a phone call from my lb nursery today at 3pm they rang to say he has had a 10 minute nap since arriving at 7.30am and won't go back to sleep/nap and is super clingy and upset and they are lost as to what to do. I suggested what I usually do to which they stated they have already tried this and nothing is working and asked me to come pick him up, is this normal?

@Kc1111
Are you with his dad?

Find a new nursery

I'd want to be called, especially at this age, but I wouldn't be impressed if it happened regularly as I'd be questioning their ability in childcare if they weren't able to soothe a child who's upset.

I'd go and get any of my children is they were upset and not themselves. My eldest is 16. I wouldn't complain I would be happy that the staff recognised the above and called me.

I think if they'd tried everything including taking him out for a pushchair or baby wearing walk and he still wasn't sleeping then I'd want to pick him up. At that age I'd expect them to be able to put him in a sling whilst looking after mobile ones in the garden for instance. If he wouldn't settle with cuddles that's hardly trying everything.

And if I could just leave work and go get him I would but it isn't that easy, I didn't say I was complaining I asked if it was normal 🤔

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I may suggest leaving the pushchair there next time as he does tend to don't easier when on the move

I've collected my 11 month old for this reason at 3pm a few times. Unsettled etc.

I won't leave him there sad... but I'm very much hoping it settles.

Also fortunate it's happened on 'quiet' work days. In previous careers, I'm not sure how I would have managed it.

In most nurseries the ratio is 1 adult per 3 under 2's. They need to look after the other babies as well and if he wouldn't be put down that would make it tricky.

It might be worth talking to his keyworker about other things that work for you in this situation that they could try in future. However they are not able to give your child 1 to 1 care so these need to be reasonable suggestions. It can also be really distressing for the rest of the room to be around baby who is so upset.

You have a few options;
Talk to the nursery and see if you can come up with a plan that works for all of you
Find a different nursery that works better for you (although I think being called when your child is distressed is a good thing)
Look at getting a childminder who could perhaps have more time and flexibility to settle them
Look at employing a nanny who can give your child one to one care

Sorry but no. If he is unwell, fine to call to go and get him. But calling a parent out of work for a baby adapting to a new childcare setting and being unsettled is pure laziness. I would have said sorry I will be there at 17/whenever and we can discuss then.

Yes this is usual at DD nursery. I've been called when she hasn't been specifically unwell but has been unhappy and unable to settle.
Mostly she ended up unwell eventually, but on the odd occasion she just needed some time at home with me.

Haven't read the whole thread, just page 1. However, in it you have said with enough/ alot of rocking he'll go to sleep. This can make it extremely difficult for staff as that means they're out of ratio for a long time. With this age group it really makes a difference. Sounds like they had tried for as long as possible.

Secondly, you said that he was fine but he wanted to be held/ couldn't put him down. Again that means they're limited on what they can do/ out of ratio. Staff can't constantly give 1 to 1.
If he started in January then I still count that as a new ish child at nursery.

If he didn’t want to be put down, how do you expect the staff to abide to a 1-3 ratio? It’s either hold him all afternoon and essentially leave them short or put him down in distress all afternoon. I imagine calling you was their last resort.

My nursery would baby wear if baby is over tired. OP hasn't said if they did that.

And in the meantime baby is inconsolable and stressed?

Sadly, yes. Anything new and unfamiliar can be distressing but mum can’t drop everything every time. Give it 2 months, let him adapt and get to know his key workers and you can almost guarantee you will have a different child.

Nursery staff usually know their children well enough to know what is normal for that child. If we call outside of usual unwell symptoms it's because the child is more distressed than usual in some way and need a parent for one to one.

Obviously children settling in will often need one to one care if they get upset and that is different as we know why they are upset. Some children are fussier and more upset than others. But with most children we know what it is beyond normal for them.