DD bit another child

[istolethisusernametoo]

I went to pick up DD today from nursery and I was greeted with "she bit another child!" and then they just stared at me. I didn't know what to say! Of course I asked if the other child was ok and I feel awful but she's 15 months old. She doesn't understand and I can't tell her off when I pick her up. I don't know what else they expected me to say. They said it wasn't a hard bite but they think she 'made contact'. They have a lot of new babies at the moment that are upset and very unsettled all day so the quieter ones naturally get less attention. We put a variety of teething toys and pain relief in her nursery bag so I'm not sure what else we can do. Has anyone dealt with a child that bites? I'm not sure how to deal with something that's happening when I'm not there to address it at the time.

They sound a bit useless tbh.

New unsettled babies is not a reason that quiter ones should get less attention either. Are they maintaining correct ratios ??

She's 15 months for goodness' sake.

What did they suggest that you do? Or did they just want to stare at you and make you feel bad, without offering any advice?

She's 15 months old. Unless it becomes a pattern, I honestly wouldn't worry too much. The nursery have to tell you, and you won't be the first parent they've had to tell something like this to, and you certainly won't be the last. All you can do is say that you will keep an eye on the situation at home. That's all they want from you. Sorry they just stared at you - not very reassuring, but you responded very well. Well done.

My 18 mths bites me when she’s tired. She does it as a loving comfort.
The nursery should be watching her. When I take my baby out, I supervise her and stay close by. Especially when kids are at the biting stage. How on earth can you be expected to police it when you are not there!!!
Do they expect you to remove her teeth, or gaffer tape her. Ask them what they suggest in their professional expertise?

I wouldn’t expect you to do anything but I still would have told you. It’s all to do with working in partnership - How can we identify why? Is it a one off? Is she teething? That kind of thing.

Thank you for all of your replies. I feel less like a terrible mother now!

I thought this was going to be about a four year old and was going to say - it happens, don't worry too much just have a chat with her and hope it doesn't become a habit. But a 15 month old doesn't have the impulse control to deal with this yet. I don't know what the nursery expects you to do.

Omg. Don't worry. My 5 year old was bitten by another 5 year old last week. Honestly, not great, but these things do happen.

I'm on the opposite side, my 18mo dd has been bitten 3 times in the past 2 weeks by the same child!

What are you doing to identify why your child bit someone?

You make it sound like they have never dealth with this. Well believe me they would have. As they know your DD is a biter they should keep an extra watch particularly near the child she originally bit. Don't feal bad sounds like a normal frustrated 15m baby.

@Lazypuppy OP doesn't need to do anything to identify why her DD bit someone!! She's 15mo, it's happened once, it's a common occurrence at that age.

What are you doing to identify why your child bit someone?

The child is 15 months.

FIFTEEN MONTHS.

What do you suggest she does??

Just to add my daughter has bitten other children at nursery and also been the victim of biting on a number of occasions. It's bound to happen in a room full of toddlers that are tired/teething/hungry/overexcited/not wanting to share toys etc etc. Unless it becomes a regular occurrence then I wouldn't worry about it.

www.nurseryworld.co.uk/nursery-world/news/1103138/bitten this is a really interesting read. Does the nursery have a biting policy?
Lots of children bite it is not pleasant for anyone but it is fairly normal and they usually grow out of it especially when they have better spoken language.

@littlestrawby and @danni0509 15months isn't a baby. My dd is only 3 months older, and i would want to understand why she bit another child, as that would be out of character. Was she angry about not getting a toy, or did she just go over and bite the child -2 completely different scenarios.
It is not normal behaviour in my eyes, and my dd's nursery agree as the child who has been biting my dd has been moved to another room now as they can't stop him biring other childre

Lazypuppy it is entirely normal, many children go through a biting phase, not much you can do other than make it clear it’s not acceptable behaviour as soon as it happens (down to the staff at nursery!) and hope they grow out of it pretty quickly. Until they’re capable of understanding/communicating more, there’s really not much a parent or anyone else can do about it. My eldest daughter went through a biting phase, as far as I could tell it was because she thought it was hilarious...nursery told me about each incident but made it clear there really wasn’t much I could do about it although obviously I felt really guilty!

@Lazypuppy it is normal behaviour though. As awful as it is.

Biting, hitting, pushing, snatching. All completely normal behaviour in children of that age.

Were they expecting you to do anything or just informing you?

I would say this was perfectly normal; my DD went through a lovely biting stage at that age although luckily only bit another child once.

My daughter is 3 never bite any 1 so dont think ALL child do biting!
U have to tell her off at that time. Her nursery teacher told me she push a child. Then I tell her off "dont push your friend again no " ... so her teacher can assure that I have been tell her . Not encourage her to do again by keeping silent like you n she will do again cos u didnt tell her anything. Thats why people stare at us as we all can hear our talk rather than silent n walk away assume all fine.

Hi we have 21 month old twins and they are competitive and regularly have biting fights . One recently bit another child at nursery which we were upset about and obviously apologised about and they explained that this normal behaviour for some kids and they would grow out of it . Please don't worry. It's out of your control .

@Lazypuppy so the child has been moved to another room, presumably with other children who he may bite so that doesn't solve the problem! They are too young to understand any form of punishment or delayed consequences at that age, the most you can do is firmly say no at that moment that it happens, move them away and don't give any further attention to them. No need to get over the top in analysing a one off bite.

My dd now 10 is intelligent beautiful and universally adored by adults and kids. Never had a tantrum. BUT went through a biting stage at this age. Mortifying! She would sink her teeth into other kids her sister and me. Saw nothing wrong with it. It’s a phase.

15months isn't a baby.

Quite right! Why is she biting people when she should be out at work?