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MNHQ

Are you worried about your alcohol intake? Do you regularly think about quitting? Join our webchat with Lucy Rocca, founder of soberistas.com, Wednesday 1 February, 9-10pm

44 replies

RachelMumsnet · 27/01/2017 11:22

Dry Jan is about to end but should the sobriety continue?
We’re running a webchat on Wednesday 1 February, 9-10pm with Lucy Rocca, founder of Soberistas.com and author of Sober Revolution and The A-Z Of Binning the Booze.

Whether you are concerned about your drinking, thinking of quitting or living a life of sobriety, put the date in your diary to come and chat to Lucy - or feel free to post up a question for Lucy in advance on this thread. Everyone who joins the thread will be entered into a draw to win of five signed copies of A-Z of Binning the Booze.

More about Lucy and Soberistas.com
Lucy Rocca was a heavy and regular binge drinker for her entire adult life up until the age of 35. After a particularly heavy binge that landed her in hospital she decided to quit drinking altogether, and founded Soberistas in November 2012. Since then she has gone on to write five books on the subject of alcohol dependency, and now works full time as editor and director of Soberistas. Lucy lives in Sheffield with her two daughters.



Soberistas.com is a social network website aimed at worried binge drinkers. Non-judgmental and non-prescriptive, Soberistas offers a safe and anonymous online space where members of the site can share their concerns about alcohol and support one another in becoming booze-free.

Are you worried about your alcohol intake? Do you regularly think about quitting? Join our webchat with Lucy Rocca, founder of soberistas.com, Wednesday 1 February, 9-10pm
OP posts:
empirerecordsrocked · 27/01/2017 22:16

Erm do the brave babes know that this is being advertised as a social network website - it's not really is it unless I'm missing something?

MNHQ
RachelMumsnet · 28/01/2017 10:11

Hi Empire. For some reason all the words that are linked have been jumbled up when you look at this thread on the app. If you look at the thread on desktop or mobile, you'll see that the final paragraph actually reads 'soberistas is a social networking site....' We referenced Brave babes only as mumsnet's support network.

We've been in touch with tech team about this but they may not get to look at this until after the weekend so for now I'll edit the post to see if this fixes it.

OP posts:
empirerecordsrocked · 28/01/2017 10:37

It's fixed on the app now Rebecca:)

OCSockOrphanage · 28/01/2017 20:51

Clearly, all of MH is busy drinking wine!

Darlink · 29/01/2017 09:16

Entered into a drawer??

MNHQ
RachelMumsnet · 29/01/2017 10:30

@Darlink

Entered into a drawer??

Blush amended

OP posts:
Darlink · 29/01/2017 22:03

Whew !

Tangfastics · 30/01/2017 00:14

Well that started well Grin

Yes, I'd like to join in. Looking forward to it!

MNHQ
RachelMumsnet · 30/01/2017 14:58

@Tangfastics

Well that started well Grin

Yes, I'd like to join in. Looking forward to it!

Flowers
OP posts:
Matchstickcatsanddogs · 01/02/2017 14:44

I can't make the webchat tonight but am interested to know what your thoughts are on addiction. I recently read The Biology of Desire: Why addiction is not a disease by Marc Lewis (recommended on mumsnet) and found it interesting that he goes against the AA belief that alcohol is an illness and that alcoholics can never recover. He sets out the idea that through cognitive behavioural changes, you can be free from addiction. Interesting stuff.. What is your thought on this? Does Soberistas advocate something different to the AA method of abstinence? I've read some stuff about the site but haven't had chance to look at the site.

HarrietMWelsch · 01/02/2017 15:44

Might be a little late tonight so just wanted to post up my question now!

Lucy, does Soberistas welcome people who are trying to control /cut back on their alcohol consumption rather than go completely sober? I'm keen to change my drinking as I realise that I am drinking too frequently (almost every evening once the kids are in bed) and would ideally like to cut back so I'm only drinking when I go out (maybe once every couple of weeks). Would Soberistas be a useful place to visit for support for this? If not, what would be your advice?

Wannabesociallysober · 01/02/2017 16:19

I attempted dry Jan for the first time this year but didn't last the full month - gave up at a birthday do with some v persuasive friends. Now i'm back to drinking as much as I was before. I realise this is too much and I would really like to stop drinking altogether BUT i can't imagine going out and not drinking and my social life does seem to revolve around bars/pubs or dinner parties where wine is always flowing freely. Did you have to change your social life after you quit drinking? How difficult was/is it to go out and have fun but stay sober (honestly!)?

Thank you

lilybetsy · 01/02/2017 19:46

wannabe, I'm not sober anything like as long as Lucy, but there is a thread on relationships called Dry, where you will find a LOT of other people just like you who can offer you support. I'm now 326 days sober and I promise you, sober occasions are just FINE once you get used to them! I was the Mumsnet guest blogger last week, and have a blog here here 🙂

lilybetsy · 01/02/2017 19:48

A question from Me...

Being sober is now pretty easy, not drinking at parties / social events etc. I barely think about it (almost 11 months in) what IS hard, and shows no sign of getting better is living with all the raw emotions that I can no longer stuff down with alcohol ... any thoughts / tips ?.

lilybetsy · 01/02/2017 19:49

Sorry, thank you , Lily 🌷🌷

worriedbigsis · 01/02/2017 19:55

I'm curious as to why your forum is closed behind a registration, rather than open to all - like Mumsnet? I would have liked to search there for information on liver function tests and ultrasounds during Dry January, but ended up using other forums because I didn't want to register.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 01/02/2017 20:03

I am a very long term sober alcoholic and I don't believe I could've got or stayed sober with anything other than AA. I tried everything I could think of beforehand - alcohol counselling, a group where we kept drinking diaries - but they were all for people who drank too much rather than serious alcoholics.

What is the Soberistas take on AA and other 12 Step programmes? Do you recommend Al Anon for the families of Soberista members?

Wantedtobe · 01/02/2017 20:27

I have tried to stop drinking in the past but social events have always been where I've found it hardest to resist and given in. I think not going out for a few months might be the answer for me! How do you suggest coping with social situations - are they best avoided? Or a challenge that needs to be overcome at some point so you might as well try from the start? Thanks.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 01/02/2017 20:34

I have given up drinking for long periods of time sucessfully. I have heard a theory that some people, who really ought to give it up completely, give up until a certain point, then feel better and think they can control it, and that this is often around the six month mark. They then start again, and the cycle continues....currently I am doing dry January. Do you have any thoughts on this 'danger time' after sucessfully ceasing to drink? TIA

Leviticus · 01/02/2017 20:58

Hi Lucy, I've read and really liked most of your books and also watched 'my name is' on tv. I know that you are completely sober but don't necessarily class yourself as an 'alcoholic'. Do you ever struggle to stay sober? Do you feel extra pressure to succeed now you've written books and offered advice to others?

MNHQ
RachelMumsnet · 01/02/2017 20:59

Thanks very much for joining us tonight Lucy Rocca and welcome to Mumsnet. Could you start by telling us a bit about yourself? Why did you stop drinking and what was your strategy for going and staying sober? Over to you...

OP posts:
LucyRocca · 01/02/2017 21:02

@RachelMumsnet

Thanks very much for joining us tonight Lucy Rocca and welcome to Mumsnet. Could you start by telling us a bit about yourself? Why did you stop drinking and what was your strategy for going and staying sober? Over to you...

Hi and thanks for having me! A little bit about me - I'm 41 years old, and haven't drunk alcohol for 6 years. I started drinking as a teenager and was a big wine drinker right up until I decided to stop in 2011 after one too many horrific binges (the last one putting me in hospital). I set Soberistas up the year after as an online resource for people who were in the same boat as me.

LucyRocca · 01/02/2017 21:09

@Matchstickcatsanddogs

I can't make the webchat tonight but am interested to know what your thoughts are on addiction. I recently read The Biology of Desire: Why addiction is not a disease by Marc Lewis (recommended on mumsnet) and found it interesting that he goes against the AA belief that alcohol is an illness and that alcoholics can never recover. He sets out the idea that through cognitive behavioural changes, you can be free from addiction. Interesting stuff.. What is your thought on this? Does Soberistas advocate something different to the AA method of abstinence? I've read some stuff about the site but haven't had chance to look at the site.

Hi Matchstickcatsanddogs - thanks for your question. I think this is a really interesting debate and as with a lot of things to do with alcohol dependence, there are big variants in terms of people's level of addiction. I would say that I was emotionally and psychologically dependent on alcohol but was definitely not addicted physically - and my own story has been one of retraining my brain to not want alcohol anymore. For me, being abstinent has been the only way to go as I have an all or nothing personality, and I know that I could never drink moderately (or take any addictive substance in a moderate way) - I proved to myself on many occasions that I just couldn't control how much I drank. It took 22 years to realise that, but now that I'm out of the booze trap I am very happy to never drink again.

LucyRocca · 01/02/2017 21:14

@HarrietMWelsch

Might be a little late tonight so just wanted to post up my question now!

Lucy, does Soberistas welcome people who are trying to control /cut back on their alcohol consumption rather than go completely sober? I'm keen to change my drinking as I realise that I am drinking too frequently (almost every evening once the kids are in bed) and would ideally like to cut back so I'm only drinking when I go out (maybe once every couple of weeks). Would Soberistas be a useful place to visit for support for this? If not, what would be your advice?

Hi HarrietMWelsch - thanks for this question. The only prerequisite for joining Soberistas is that you are worried about your drinking and want to try and resolve your alcohol related issues. It is my experience that for most people who regularly cannot control how much they drink, it is pretty much impossible to 'learn' to moderate. But when I still drank, I never wanted to hear that and I always hoped that I would one day learn how to be able to control my intake. I even went to a hypnotist to try and do this! (It didn't work). Having said that, I think if you tell people that they must stop drinking forever, you end up scaring a lot of them away because that's a massive thing to get your head around. It took me a long time to fully accept and love my life as a non-drinker. So the ethos of Soberistas is one that is non-judgmental, and supportive of anyone on that journey to fixing their problem with alcohol. For most who use the site, that ends up being living completely sober because it is easier than struggling to control their intake. Hope this helps!

lonelyThursday · 01/02/2017 21:18

Hi Lucy, I have a friend who knows they have a drinking problem. Is there anything I can do to help? I have tried to talk about it with them over the years, but I don't know if anything I say or do will make a difference. It feels like the only way they are going to change is really hit rock bottom. Thanks.