Randi Zuckerberg webchat: How can we use social media to improve our lives without it taking over? Come and discuss TUESDAY 3 DECEMBER 2013, 9-10pm

[RachelMumsnet]

Randi Zuckerberg is the CEO and founder of Zuckerberg Media and editor-in-chief of Dot Complicated, a modern lifestyle newsletter and blog. She worked for 6 years as marketing executive of Facebook (she’s also Mark’s sister), where she pioneered live streaming initiatives (including President Obama’s live-streamed Facebook town hall event in 2011).

Her latest book Dot Complicated is a guide to understanding social media and technology, and how they influence and inform our lives online and how they complicate lives offline. She asks the question: how can we find a balance between using the internet to enrich our lives without it taking over our lives completely?

Using and sharing her extensive knowledge and experience from her time at Facebook and balancing her career with motherhood, Randi addresses issues such as online privacy, social identity, authenticity and how technology affects love, friendships and your career.

We're delighted that Randi is joining us for a webchat chat on Tuesday 3rd December between 9 and 10pm. Put the date in your diary to join Randi or post a question in advance to this thread.

Hello Randi. My question to you is should social media be regulated by a voluntary code of conduct or is there an argument for mandatory regulation that companies would have to follow? In terms of regulation I am talking about the protection of data and at the same time the dangers of anonymity ie trolling.

Thanks.

Whether social media can improve our lives depends on whether we are using Facebook or Fakebook- and by "Fakebook" I mean using a profile filled with strangers you call your friends but really don't know the first thing about you! If you use Facebook with only your true friends and family I believe it is a great tool as the friends you've added accept you for who you are and there is no need to show off and act pretentious, whereas I find people who Fakebook generally stage a lot of social gatherings just to look happy when really on the inside they are self conscious and lonely.

Hello Randi, and welcome to Mumsnet.

I run a online magazine for preteens. The online safety of our readers is paramount, which is why we don't have a forum, and all our comments are moderated. It is quite tricky to balance the wishes of our young readers - to have open communication and to chat online with other young people - with the safety concerns of their parents.

Do you agree that it is better to allow kids to use social media, in order to learn how to use it sensibly?

And what would you advise parents, when it comes to checking and controlling their kids' usage of Social Media?

Really interesting topic and am looking forward to logging in later and seeing what's discussed.
MmeLindor, not sure if house rules allow you to advertise your mag on the forums but I'd be interested in hearing about it as I have a pre teen in the house! Can you pm me?

Why did you deem it necessary in the intro to tell us that Randi is Zuckerberg's sister? Does she not have credibility in her own right? Or did you think we would only accept her if her expertise was validated by her relationship to a man?

@BIWI

Why did you deem it necessary in the intro to tell us that Randi is Zuckerberg's sister? Does she not have credibility in her own right? Or did you think we would only accept her if her expertise was validated by her relationship to a man?

absolutely not we wouldn't have invited Randi in for a webchat if we didn't think she was a valid guest - we certainly don't invite guests in on the credibliity of their siblings . I just thought it was interesting and added a bit more info about her background.

Hi Randi, I wonder if you read Maria Konnikova's piece in the New Yorker www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/elements/2013/09/the-real-reason-facebook-makes-us-unhappy.html. Knowing that passive consumption of social media is likely to make me bored and distracted doesn't always stop me from looking at it anyway, even though I recognise the feelings she describes. If adults can't control the impulse to waste time by checking Facebook or Twitter how can we expect our kids to have the self control to stop using it? As parents, is our only option to police them constantly in order to limit and control their social media consumption -- or do we ban it altogether?

What are your family's 'rules' for the use of social media/ screen time etc?

Dh and I try and stick to no internet after 9pm
I work on the proviso that anything on Facebook etc must be something that I wouldn't mind my mum/ boss seeing.

My dc are only 4&2 so don't have to worry about them....yet

I have a question, if you've got the time to answer it.

I am currently involved in a campaign to ask Amazon to withdraw from sale To Train Up A Child, a book which encourages abuse and violence towards children and one which they sell under their parenting category.

I'd like to ask if you see social media as a valuable tool in campaigns and campaigning for issues and rights, or if it's still too new to be effective. Do pages on Facebook, campaigns on Twitter or issues raised by bloggers work in raising awareness of topics and stimulate debate, or is conventional media, such as TV and radio more effective?

@adadcalledspen

By sharing information and pictures not only of themselves but of their children on social media sites aren't parents (unwittingly for the most part) creating a future in which their children are denied the right to online anonymity? Privacy settings on Google Plus and Facebook are quite difficult to access and in my experience, without realising, people are constantly uploading digital content about themselves and their families to the web that can never be deleted or retrieved. What do you think the implications of this might be for our children, socially, professionally and in other respects? .

Hi randi
Where I work we are trialling some kind of Facebook/twitter combo for the office. I haven't seen it yet, but I think it means posting about stuff you are doing, liking other people's stuff, and following/friending people.

Is this common? What are the pitfalls? Do some sorts of people/organisations respond better to this kind of thing? We are a fairly traditional organisation involved in delivering professional services, over two sites in one country.

@Allthingsprettyreturns

Hello Randi. My question to you is should social media be regulated by a voluntary code of conduct or is there an argument for mandatory regulation that companies would have to follow? In terms of regulation I am talking about the protection of data and at the same time the dangers of anonymity ie trolling.

Thanks.

Hi there! I think that social norms and etiquette will be more effective than government regulation - but we need a balance of both. Laws can protect us against criminal activity, but we don't want them to stifle innovation. The more we can find ways to foster communities that are not anonymous, the better off we'll all be.

A big welcome this eve to Randi Zuckerberg who must be exhausted having only touched down from the States yesterday and already been on Newsnight and Woman's Hour. So thanks for joining us Randi and welcome

@milk

Whether social media can improve our lives depends on whether we are using Facebook or Fakebook- and by "Fakebook" I mean using a profile filled with strangers you call your friends but really don't know the first thing about you! If you use Facebook with only your true friends and family I believe it is a great tool as the friends you've added accept you for who you are and there is no need to show off and act pretentious, whereas I find people who Fakebook generally stage a lot of social gatherings just to look happy when really on the inside they are self conscious and lonely.

I would encourage everyone to be their authentic selves online and not try to put on a show. Thanks for writing in!

Hi Randi,

Where do you see social media in 5 years?
Do you think that handwritten communication is dying?

@MmeLindor

Hello Randi, and welcome to Mumsnet.

I run a online magazine for preteens. The online safety of our readers is paramount, which is why we don't have a forum, and all our comments are moderated. It is quite tricky to balance the wishes of our young readers - to have open communication and to chat online with other young people - with the safety concerns of their parents.

Do you agree that it is better to allow kids to use social media, in order to learn how to use it sensibly?

And what would you advise parents, when it comes to checking and controlling their kids' usage of Social Media?

Wonderful questions! I think early usage of social media should be done as a collaboration and conversation between child and parent. Just like learning how to ride a bicycle - learning how to use social media should be a guided process. With respect to checking/controlling, I think this depends on each individual child and family. Personally, I'd tend to lean toward conversation rather than control, but realize it's going to be unique in every case.

Hi Randi, which social media do you favour, personally? Anything bubbling up you think we should be aware of?

Do you see Twitter or Facebook being knocked off their perches any time soon, or does their early dominance of the market mean they're set?

@zorione

Hi Randi, I wonder if you read Maria Konnikova's piece in the New Yorker www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/elements/2013/09/the-real-reason-facebook-makes-us-unhappy.html. Knowing that passive consumption of social media is likely to make me bored and distracted doesn't always stop me from looking at it anyway, even though I recognise the feelings she describes. If adults can't control the impulse to waste time by checking Facebook or Twitter how can we expect our kids to have the self control to stop using it? As parents, is our only option to police them constantly in order to limit and control their social media consumption -- or do we ban it altogether?

Hi there! I definitely do not think we should ban it altogether - as I think that would put children at a competitive disadvantage later in life. That said, we must remember that our children model our behavior after us. We need to set the example of moderation for them. Often times at big family meals, I see parents being worse than their teens - constantly checking phones. If moderation is not being adopted by children, there are some alternatives I've heard are effective:

• a router (eg Apple Airport) that can control internet access times on a device basis - so you can block internet access to childrens' devices at certain times

• instead of offering a monetary allowance to children, offering an access allowance - affording children access to social media/internet for accomplishment

The thing that most disturbs me about facebook/snapchap/pintarest etc is the vanity it seems to provoke, particularly amongst teenage girls. All the selflies and comparing themselves to their peers. Do you think social media has fed into female anxiety about how they look?

@Suddengeekgirl

What are your family's 'rules' for the use of social media/ screen time etc?

Dh and I try and stick to no internet after 9pm
I work on the proviso that anything on Facebook etc must be something that I wouldn't mind my mum/ boss seeing.

My dc are only 4&2 so don't have to worry about them....yet

Good for you and your Dh for having a curfew for your devices! Sounds like you have a great relationship - one that prioritizes face time over screen time!

I've pre-emptively decided my son will not be getting a mobile phone until he's 45 ;)

Kidding, but I do work to make sure the majority of screen time my son has is spent on mind-expanding content as opposed to mindless content.

Thanks for a answering my question Randi

@adadcalledspen

I have a question, if you've got the time to answer it.

I am currently involved in a campaign to ask Amazon to withdraw from sale To Train Up A Child, a book which encourages abuse and violence towards children and one which they sell under their parenting category.

I'd like to ask if you see social media as a valuable tool in campaigns and campaigning for issues and rights, or if it's still too new to be effective. Do pages on Facebook, campaigns on Twitter or issues raised by bloggers work in raising awareness of topics and stimulate debate, or is conventional media, such as TV and radio more effective?

@adadcalledspen

It's important to know that change in any channel does not happen overnight. That said, social tools are an incredibly effective place to build real relationships directly with your supporters (in contrast to mass/broadcast media). These tools are best utilized when you find ways to tell the real authentic story of your cause and appeal to supporters at an emotional level.

@AuntPorridger

By sharing information and pictures not only of themselves but of their children on social media sites aren't parents (unwittingly for the most part) creating a future in which their children are denied the right to online anonymity? Privacy settings on Google Plus and Facebook are quite difficult to access and in my experience, without realising, people are constantly uploading digital content about themselves and their families to the web that can never be deleted or retrieved. What do you think the implications of this might be for our children, socially, professionally and in other respects? .

From the moment of conception (and often the posting of sonogram image), we have to recognize that we are creating a digital footprint for our child. We must be sensitive to the fact that no longer are embarrassing childhood photos only surfaced at wedding parties, but now they may follow our kids through every stage of their lives. I would never discourage moms from posting about the joys (and trials) of motherhood - but I would always place the child's interest above our own when posting.