Randi Zuckerberg webchat: How can we use social media to improve our lives without it taking over? Come and discuss TUESDAY 3 DECEMBER 2013, 9-10pm

[RachelMumsnet]

Randi Zuckerberg is the CEO and founder of Zuckerberg Media and editor-in-chief of Dot Complicated, a modern lifestyle newsletter and blog. She worked for 6 years as marketing executive of Facebook (she’s also Mark’s sister), where she pioneered live streaming initiatives (including President Obama’s live-streamed Facebook town hall event in 2011).

Her latest book Dot Complicated is a guide to understanding social media and technology, and how they influence and inform our lives online and how they complicate lives offline. She asks the question: how can we find a balance between using the internet to enrich our lives without it taking over our lives completely?

Using and sharing her extensive knowledge and experience from her time at Facebook and balancing her career with motherhood, Randi addresses issues such as online privacy, social identity, authenticity and how technology affects love, friendships and your career.

We're delighted that Randi is joining us for a webchat chat on Tuesday 3rd December between 9 and 10pm. Put the date in your diary to join Randi or post a question in advance to this thread.

@crochetcircle

Hi randi Where I work we are trialling some kind of Facebook/twitter combo for the office. I haven't seen it yet, but I think it means posting about stuff you are doing, liking other people's stuff, and following/friending people.

Is this common? What are the pitfalls? Do some sorts of people/organisations respond better to this kind of thing? We are a fairly traditional organisation involved in delivering professional services, over two sites in one country.

In my last job, we used Facebook for collaboration internally (obviously ;)).

My Dwh (darling work husband), however, used Yammer in his last job and says it was a great way to find experts and important information about remote parts of an organization - especially one split across regions.

Hi randi- what do you think makes social media so addictive? I'm convinced most people don't use it to actually communicate but rather to gain status and social approval.

Hi Randi,

Do you have any tips for managing a high powered career with motherhood?

I have three DC and work full-time, it's a constant battle to keep on top of homework, after school clubs, lunch boxes etc but I love my job and obviously my children and do feel it's possible to have a successful family life and career.

@nowit

Hi Randi,

Where do you see social media in 5 years?
Do you think that handwritten communication is dying?

When Facebook started, the iPhone was still 3 years away, and it was impossible then to imagine the epic impact that device would have - so it's equally difficult to imagine what might come along in the next 5 years. That said, social media enables us to connect with the people and ideas that are important to us, and that need isn't going to go away, so I expect this medium to play a role in our lives for a long time to come.

I don't think that handwritten communication is dying, and in fact find the handwritten note a great way to stand out from the crowd when saying thanks, congratulations or I love you.

Thanks for answering my question, Randi. If I may ask another - One of my bugbears is the fact that teaching kids about social media is often limited to bullying and potential 'bogeymen', and not about the consequences of oversharing, and what this could mean for their later career.

I feel very lucky to have done all the stupid stuff in my youth before there were camera phones to record my stupidity and websites like Facebook to share it with the world.

It makes me sad when a young person on Twitter asks or says something offensive/stupid and their tweet is passed around for the world to ridicule.

Do you think that our kids will ever regain that privacy to mess up, or will they have to live with the risk of it going viral?

@LoveAndSqualor

Hi Randi, which social media do you favour, personally? Anything bubbling up you think we should be aware of?

Do you see Twitter or Facebook being knocked off their perches any time soon, or does their early dominance of the market mean they're set?

I've been getting more into Instagram lately. Obviously, I think it's important all moms are aware of the ephemeral messaging trend and apps like Snapchat that enable it. These have become wildly popular among teens and it's important to know what our children are using and have the conversations early and often about what is appropriate to share on any of these platforms.

I think social media is here to stay, regardless of the platform everyone chooses to use to share.

Hi Randi

It's interesting that you call for fewer anonymous online fora/communities, but want greater authenticity. On MN, we have found that it is the very fact that we can be anonymous that has allowed us to share honestly our experiences, our ideas, our advice, our troubles. It is actually a great strength of MN that our anonymity allows authenticity, to remove anonymity would be damaging to the community here, and prevent people from asking for advice, or proffering their experience.

Speaking as an interweb 'old-timer' (using regularly since 1993, was online before that, but didn't really have anyone to chat to, or any pages to look at!) being female, but being able to mask/hide that fact has allowed me to pass unimpeded, unlike many others that had female avatars/used their own names. I know things have changed a lot, but the anonymity made my experience far richer that it would have been everytime I got "a/s/l?"d.

@Calypso2

The thing that most disturbs me about facebook/snapchap/pintarest etc is the vanity it seems to provoke, particularly amongst teenage girls. All the selflies and comparing themselves to their peers. Do you think social media has fed into female anxiety about how they look?

As parents, I think it's important to teach our children to measure their self worth by more than just likes and retweets.

@Elizabeththefirst

Hi randi- what do you think makes social media so addictive? I'm convinced most people don't use it to actually communicate but rather to gain status and social approval.

The ability to share and keep in touch with friends near and far has made the prospect of social media incredibly compelling. If you're not using social media authentically, your true friends will know it - nobody likes the person who goes on social media only to brag or self promote.

@DinnersAllWeek

Hi Randi,

Do you have any tips for managing a high powered career with motherhood?

I have three DC and work full-time, it's a constant battle to keep on top of homework, after school clubs, lunch boxes etc but I love my job and obviously my children and do feel it's possible to have a successful family life and career.

It's easy to get caught up in the guilt we're conditioned to feel over having a job and a family at the same time. I think it's important to realize that we make much better parents (and our kids know this) when we are happy - and that if having a career makes us happy, we should pursue it to the extent it makes us happy, and ultimately better parents.

Thanks for answering my question. In my experience peer influence is stronger than parental advice in teens and my question was really about whether you think social media has made things more difficult?

@MmeLindor

Thanks for answering my question, Randi. If I may ask another - One of my bugbears is the fact that teaching kids about social media is often limited to bullying and potential 'bogeymen', and not about the consequences of oversharing, and what this could mean for their later career.

I feel very lucky to have done all the stupid stuff in my youth before there were camera phones to record my stupidity and websites like Facebook to share it with the world.

It makes me sad when a young person on Twitter asks or says something offensive/stupid and their tweet is passed around for the world to ridicule.

Do you think that our kids will ever regain that privacy to mess up, or will they have to live with the risk of it going viral?

I think over time we are going to become more comfortable with everyone's humanity - and the fact that we are all prone to mistakes. With great power, comes great responsibility - we have to encourage our kids to think before they post - but let's not scare our kids into a riskless existence. There's very little in the way of honest mistakes that one should not be able to recover from over time.

@VworpVworp

Hi Randi

It's interesting that you call for fewer anonymous online fora/communities, but want greater authenticity. On MN, we have found that it is the very fact that we can be anonymous that has allowed us to share honestly our experiences, our ideas, our advice, our troubles. It is actually a great strength of MN that our anonymity allows authenticity, to remove anonymity would be damaging to the community here, and prevent people from asking for advice, or proffering their experience.

Speaking as an interweb 'old-timer' (using regularly since 1993, was online before that, but didn't really have anyone to chat to, or any pages to look at!) being female, but being able to mask/hide that fact has allowed me to pass unimpeded, unlike many others that had female avatars/used their own names. I know things have changed a lot, but the anonymity made my experience far richer that it would have been everytime I got "a/s/l?"d.

It seems to me that MN is likely an exception to the rule - probably because it's a well-self-regulated community. There are a lot of places on the web that are not as well moderated. I advocate for real identity in almost all cases - most obviously except where safety can be violated.

@Calypso2

Thanks for answering my question. In my experience peer influence is stronger than parental advice in teens and my question was really about whether you think social media has made things more difficult?

I think being a teenager has always been difficult, it's certainly not a period in my life I'd like to repeat. :)

Teenagers will always be affected by their peers. I think it's important as parents that we get as far into conversation as we're able with them about how they're being affected - and making sure the impact isn't having negative consequences. I know it can be frustrating to watch from the sidelines as a parent. One thing I've heard anecdotally, is that while your own child may not want to show or tell you what they're posting online, they'll often be more open to showing or telling what their friends are posting - and that conversation can be a gateway into understanding how social media is affecting your child.

Thanks everyone for a wonderful conversation this evening - it was a true delight! Hope to talk to you all again soon! - Randi

Big thanks to Randi for joining us and thanks everyone for participating in this interesting discussion.

Thanks for a great webchat, Randi.