Crap Tips

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

'Things to do with...plastic cd cases. Save lots and paint them with letters for a giant scrabble board'

This handy tip was in last weeks Pick me Up magazine. Why!? and What!?

Share some please, real or made up. I need cheering up.

The Sun tips are taking the piss, surely?

"To get my teenagers and husband into recycling, every time I go shopping I put a sticker on any recyclable item before putting them away. So they all know what to pop in the recycling bag."

Nikki Pickard, 41, Carmarthenshire, Dyfed

Complete with picture of various items from her cupboard labelled with an "R" for recycling.

And you get £25 for every one you send in?

Going back to 3rd degree burns on holiday woman, I have two problems with her supposed tip: one, packing all your clothes on hangers might possibly save time but it sure doesn't save any space; and two, who the fuck needs a crease-free sarong?

Am still roffling at the thought that someone might actually get stuck on the Pick Me Up puzzles [insufferable snob emoticon]

If you run out of crack cocaine simply snort nutmeg.

Do I win a fiver?

viz circa 1989ish. before going on a hot date sprinkle rice crispies outtside your house so that your date thinks your posh and have a gravel drive when you bring him/her homein the car. phnnar!

Oh FFS

I am in agony laughing at these. My kids thought I was crying. The poem - Oh Jesus the poem..........

The line between the Viz ones (the scuttling hedgehog cheez 'n' pineapple dispenser is my favourite) and the PickmeupTakeaBreak ones is very fine and blurred. The dyed sofa one is my current favourite........although the CD umbrella stand is up there too.

DWP this is a genius thread, thank you.

'For a quick beauty fix in the office put tippex under your nails and everyone will think you've had a posh french manicure'

Better hope no smokers take this advice.

'And learn the fine art of oneupmanship'

My favourite line from the poem.

Just found this from Viz:

FOR many years I've kept my legs warm in winter by wearing
ladies' tights beneath my trousers. I've never found it
embarrassing, as they make perfectly good - and economical -
leg warmers. As a pensioner saving money and warm
are my priorities. In summer I switch to wearing cooler
and more hygienic stockings and suspenders.
Mr A. Cream
Rotherham

Do you think I could send it to Pick Me Up? I could send a photo of DH in.

Oh please do it!

But is your Dh a pensioner?

It's a date!

Friday 14th November 2008

I've often found out-of-date diaries in local charity shops that no one can use any more. I buy them cheap and adapt the days to the current year.
Teresa Lloyd, South-east London

No, but he isn't aging well. Due, mainly to being married to me.

I SAID I'm NOT talking about IT!

OMG PMSL at this thread

Thank you, thank you!

Duffymoon, just how long would you have to spend faffing with that.

I must say though, I use academic diaries still, for no good reason.

btw, save water, washing powder AND electricity by taking a bath with your dirty laundry!

Save time by ironing your clothes when wearing them.

Save money on facelifts - iron your face!

When ironing your face for a diy facelift, why not pop your hubbies y-fronts over your face and iron them at the same time?

Blocked up loo? Pretend to have dropped the hamster down there and have the kids clean it out for you!

This thread is making me laugh. A lot .

Bobble plate stuck down the back of your cistern? Consult mumsnet.

Tired of picking up dog poo? Find a toddler and tell them you dropped a lump of chocolate on the pavement.

O M G

'If you have finished with a book and don't know what to do with it, why not cut the cover off and frame it? Not only does it fill up empty space on a wall but it gives any room a great vintage look!'