Netmums Sty-lee thread: Add your ticker here!

[morningpaper]

So let's chat and add our tickers. First person to say the word "arse" is disqualified.

How was your day?

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BABY NO 1 is FOUR YEARS and 245 days old
BABY NO 2 is 20 months and 12 days old

It has been 45 HOURS since I was last chased out of town with a PITCHFORK

I last OVULATED 3 days ago

It has been FOUR MONTHS since I last cleaned my Mooncup properly

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Not too bad thanks

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Ds is 2 YEARS and 6 MONTHS and 29 DAYS and 15 HOURS and 28 MINUTES and 29 SECONDS old

Ds has been ASLEEP for 35 MINUTES

DH and I have had SEX 5 times this month

[ picture of a cartoon character completely unrelated to either my nickname or any aspect of my life ]

BABY NO 1 is FIVE YEARS and some days old
BABY NO 2 is THREE YEARS and some days old
BABY NO 3 is 8 months and some days old
BABY NO 4 is 36 years old ans shoudl know better.

It is 4 hoursa and 30 minutes since I last wiped

my

a-

ngels' faces.

Come on you know you want to.

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It has been TWO HOURS since I last washed up.

It is 9 DAYS since I last shaved my legs.

It has been 68 MINUTES since I last shouted at my children

It has been SEVERAL WEEKS since I last BD's with my darling husband

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ROFL!

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BABY NO 1 is FIVE YEARS and 2hundred and summat days old
BABY NO 2 is same as MP's

It has been 3 HOURS since I was called a VILE and a LIAR on a thread

I last applied a pile preparation 28 hours ago, although I last stratched them only 1 hour ago

It has been THREE WEEKS since I last changed my bedclothes

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It's good isn't it?

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It is over 3 years since I last shaved my legs
It is 2 weeks and 3 days since I last changed the sheets.

[add fluffy message here, using the terms 'hun' and 'bubba']

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THE WASHING UP HAS BEEN IN THE SINK FOR 3 days
ON MY MOST RECENT DIET I HAVE LOST my mind

I WILL GIVE A SHIT IN indefinite HOURS
I OWN 0 PAIRS OF CROCS NOW
MY LAST JIBBITZ WAS A shoved up my disqualified

The weather has been nice and hot here today.

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It has been FIVE DAYS since I last rang my mother

I have FOUR bras in the laundry

My Lloyds Bank Account has been overdrawn for FOUR DAYS AND SIX HOURS

My hoover broke THREE DAYS AGO with a motor burnout

It has been FOUR MINUTES since I last thought about sex

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LMAO

__
12 hours, 45 mins and 42 seconds since my last bowel movement

LOL

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It has been 10 days since I last hoovered

It has been 3 mins since I last ate chocolate

I will be going on holiday in 2 days

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Oh god, I just got the yellow ribbon reference - they haven't, have they? Jeeesus Christ Almighty!!

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I am on CD 27

I have not given a blow job for 7 years.

I have been with dh for 7 years.

It has been 85 minutes since I last fantasised about another man.

There is really no need for all this surely.

I've got no advice but I'm thinking of you hun

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[more fluffy bollix, mostly about some dodgy man I think loves me but is, in fact, a criminal]

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IT HAS BEEN 7 hours SINCE I LAST TOOK A HIT OF CRACK

I AM GOING TO JAIL IN 2-4 weeks

There is very much a need for this. I am crying with laughter after the most poo of poo days.

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I have eaten 8949 calories today.

I have been to the toilet 9 times today.
7 were wee-wees and 2 included poos

[ picture of tinkerbell ]

BABY NUMBER ONE is SIX YEARS AND FOUR DAYS old.

It has been SIX YEARS AND THREE DAYS since I decided that BABY NUMBER TWO is not going to happen.

It has been THIRTY SIX MINUTES since I last snarled at dh.

It has been THIRTY FIVE AND A HALF MINUTES since he last looked at me as if I were turning into my mother.

It has been 12 DAYS since my last period started, and 7 DAYS since I got pissed off with it not stopping.

It has been SEVEN AND A HALF MINUTES since I last had an uncharitable thought about my MIL.

[Insert PICTURE OF DD LOOKING HER MOST ANGELIC here]
Insert PICTURE OF ME LOOKING MY FATTEST AND MOST BRAIN-DEAD here]
[Insert MINDLESS PIECE OF SENTIMENTAL DRIVEL here]

Can anyone recommend a hoover?

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It has been THREE DAYS since I last went to church

It has been TWO YEARS AND NINE MONTHS since I last cleaned my oven

There are 67 DEAD WOODLICE in the corner of my conservatory

Only 189 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT until Christmas

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omg

CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!
who said that word, it's only May!!

A hoover? Do netmums speak of The Mundane?

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IT HAS BEEN 4 hours SINCE I LAST PICKED MY NOSE

I AM GOING ON HOLIDAY TO IBIZA IN a straightjacket

Christmas? Nooooo!
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It has been TWENTY MINUTES since the cat last brought in a dead bird.

It has been 18 AND A HALF MINUTES since she was banished to the shed

It will be 24 MINUTES until dh gets home and deals with the resultant carnage

hello honey-doveys how are you all

_

I have children? 7 hours 24 minutes since I remembered where I put them.

If the Lord is my shepherd does that mean I go well with mint sauce?

NO POSTING WITHOUT TICKERS

oh sorry, shouting not v. Netmumsy

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It has been 32 MINUTES since I last looked up NAKED MEN on Google Images

I have drunk 72 UNITS of alcohol this week

It has been 97 DAYS since I last kissed DH with tongues

Quote XXJXWV to get £15 off your Tesco Delivery

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I forgot one

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I'm pink therefore I'm spam