Netmums Sty-lee thread: Add your ticker here!

[morningpaper]

So let's chat and add our tickers. First person to say the word "arse" is disqualified.

How was your day?

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BABY NO 1 is FOUR YEARS and 245 days old
BABY NO 2 is 20 months and 12 days old

It has been 45 HOURS since I was last chased out of town with a PITCHFORK

I last OVULATED 3 days ago

It has been FOUR MONTHS since I last cleaned my Mooncup properly

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sorry how do I do this? I would love to have these things on, do you have to input them when you register?

Awwwww ((((((hugs)))))

I can't think of anything else to say ((((((hugs))))))

((((((hugs))))))))

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There are 47 PINS in the eyes of the doll I fashioned from old tights and cotton wool this morning.

(lol at that link "pay as you cum" pmsl)

PMSL at Whizz

snaff ((((((hugs))))))

someone tell me whats on that link im too pure to look.

Soupdragon I must admit I have not been entirely truthful in ALL my tickers

p.s. No posts of a sexual nature PLEASE! Let's keep this site PG!!! Thanks huns XXX

======================================================== 34 MINUTES since I last changed my panty liner

Have missed you all while I've been in the salon having my teeth filed (((so BIG hugs))) !!!

Lovely piccies in Junior magazine of handwash cashmere nappies. You can even have your star-angels names embroidered on them. Wuvverley!

^^
6 minutes since I pulled 16ft of yellow ribbon out of the dogs poopy place.

4 minutes since I puked over the labrador

2 minutes since labrador ate puke AND 16ft of shitty old yellow ribbon

WWW!

Hello Huns Net

What 5 things make you HAPPEEEE!

Here's mine

1. Feeling the sun on my face
2. Flicking through my fav mag (I LOVE celeb gossip!)
3. Waking up next to my gorgeous man every morning ( I am so incredibly blessed)
4. Buying fav things like make up, hair extentions and false nails (esp. french manicure)
5. Kissing scrummy wummy ellie bellie (awww) while she sleeps

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Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow'

(And how did YOU get to that link WWW ? Huh, Hun?)

I keep getting emails about making me harder, my wife loves it, and apparently, all I have do to is email my bank account details, NI number and home address to a lovely sounding chap in Darkest Peru, and I'll inherit $50,000,000,000,000 from my long lost uncle, yay!

_

MY IQ IS edging further towards negative integers

I'VE HAD MY ID STOLEN 87 times!

I'M NOT SURE BUT I MAY HAVE HAD COKED UP SEX WITH Russel Brand

IN REHAB, MY FAVOURITE ROOMIE WAS Naomi Campbell

I WAS LAST A VICTIM OF VIOLENT RAGE too recently to talk about it but that's the last time I go to The Priory

I HAVE A MOBILE PHONE EMBEDDED IN MY naughty lady parts

Hiya huns (((Biiigggg Hugs)))

I'm going to be a real b*h now, so I must in all honesty give fair warning that what I'm about to say might deeply offend some of you................

... I think I saw someone on The Jeremy Kyle Show today who hadn't brushed their hair >

Gosh, I'm such a **tch aren't I?

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+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

10 MINUTES since I brushed MY hair

10 MINUTES until I apply some Ladies Grecian 2000

My little darling ate 5 slugs today

4 DAYS until my new redneck dungarees arrive

17 YEARS since I made the devil with two backs with my cousin

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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((((Duchess))) must have been awful honey bun

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1 min since I laughed at duchesses puking on the dog incident

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WWW,are you 'Maggie'?

Am I too late to join in? Please let me, pretty please with knobs on. Pretty please with knobs with painted stars on.

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It has been 1 day, 14 hours and 22 mins since I last saw a naked man from the train

It has been 3 weeks, 3 days and 9 hours since we started potty training

6 hours and 19 mins ago ds finally did a poo in the potty

6 hours and 23 mins ago I texted dh to tell him about the poo

6 hours and 24 mins ago dh phone to congratulate ds

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bran are they glittery stars???

That link is actually on netmums, ewww. It's not explicit, don't worry. xxxxxxx

_

FOUR minutes til I put my car keys in a bowl

FIVE minutes til I have five dodgy blokes stroking my thighs

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++My breasts are SEVEN INCHES lower than they were five years ago
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Baby Dust to all you mummies still TTC (((HUGS))))

3 seconds until I call someone I really fucking HATE 'chick' , 'babe' or 'hun' (probably in a post telling them they are the devil's bitch for defending abortion at 24 weeks...)

45 days to go until we go on our free-with-the-Sun holiday to Skegness

93 seconds until I last post my next personal recipe for "Spaghetti Surprise' on the Recipes Forum ( 'chuck a jar of Dolmio on top of a pack of instant noodles and serve with cucumbers cut into smiley faces' )

(INSERT PICTURE OF BLONDE KID COVERED IN CHOCOLATE, POSING IN SPOTLESS, IKEA-DECORATED FRONT ROOM IN NEWLY BUILT BARRATTS HOUSING DEVELOPMENT "Look, even when my kids been at the Nutella I still find time to obsessively hoover my laminate flooring!)

I really would like to know how to do all of this. I shall go back to registration, perhaps it is on the profike page

ROTFLMFAO
@wickedwaterwitch / keys in bowl

you wicked woman

betty, just make it up as you go along, there is nothing about it on the profile page.

did u just say b**ch???
OMG!!

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been luvin my hubby for 5 years, 4 months and 8 weeks

proud mum of 6 boys, taz, baz, kaz, laz, jaz and waz [in glittery twinkling letters obviously]

insert huge pics of taz, baz, kaz, laz, jaz and waz that take a good 5 minutes to scroll past...[some users may find their computer shuts down at this point]

Awwww thanks MrsWho hun!

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0 seconds since I stopped dry retching

1 minute since I washed bread knife and mopped the kitchen floor.

3 minutes since I severed labradors jugular vein