Netmums Sty-lee thread: Add your ticker here!

[morningpaper]

So let's chat and add our tickers. First person to say the word "arse" is disqualified.

How was your day?


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BABY NO 1 is FOUR YEARS and 245 days old
BABY NO 2 is 20 months and 12 days old

It has been 45 HOURS since I was last chased out of town with a PITCHFORK

I last OVULATED 3 days ago

It has been FOUR MONTHS since I last cleaned my Mooncup properly






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[Whizzz]

OMG - I am amazed ...
Ticker :
I can't wait to make Darling X a playmate
Day 23 of 59 day cycle 23 days till ovulation

Do you think they also post a running commentary during sex??

[Scree]

Oooh what fun, you're all a bunch of lovely huns!
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It's been 2 hours and 23 minutes since DD1 did a squirty shit on me

It's been 34 minutes since DD2 needed me to run upstairs to stuff her dummy back in her mouth

It's 4 weeks and 2 days since OH and I used the second condom in the pack of two purchased just after DD2 was born.

It's 4 months, 1 week and 5 days since the birth of dd2

It's 3 minutes since I finished a glass of red wine

it will two minutes until I start another

[WideWebWitch]

This is one of the funniest threads I've read here for ages, lololol

[WanderingTrolley]

Don't beat yourself up about the apple juice, oggs. You have to learn to love yourself, it's the greatest gift of all.

_

MY DH TWIDDLED MY NIPPLES 30 seconds ago

MY DH TOLD ME TO SAY FUCK ME NOW LIKE THE FILTHY BITCH I AM 2 minutes ago

HE GOT MY NAME WRONG 47 times!

sod it he's come.

[MissGolightly]

Actually a sex-ticker could be quite useful, thus:

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It will be 14 minutes and 12 second until I orgasm

It will be 9 seconds until hubby orgasms so better start the runup to faking it now.

[ThisIsDavinaPleaseDoNotSwear]

OggsFrogs - I'm not sure that getting tipsy is appropriate on a glittery, twinkly, fairydust thread like this.



And i thought you were my fwend

[controlfreaky2]

blimey! it's a whole new world over there isnt it!

_

40 years since i was as icky and smug as some of the posters on there

long time since i've felt so irrationally annoyed

v long time before i'll look on there again........

[morningpaper]

Can I take a minute to draw your attention to today's sponsors, WELL HUNG AND WOODEN, makers of beautiful handcrafted gallows which are exported to exploitative African countries. PLEASE CLICK ON OUR SPONSORS!!!! Thanks hun xxx

=====================================================

16 MINUTES since I thought about Chris from Doodle-Do

[MissGolightly]

sorry that was to Whizzz. And huns, I apologise for the adult subject matter. I should have posted a warning.

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[huge picture of me in a cerrazeeeee hat]

[Whizzz]

OO huns - please not lets fall out - Lets all ((((hug))))

[IdrisTheDragon]

I have been looking .

And found someone who said their friend used mumsnut .

[morningpaper]

Mumsnut lol

Mumsnet and NetHuns

v good

=====================================================
4 minutes until I download some more Harry Potter slash fic

[Scree]

uuhh, I didn't get it, but I do now.

I love Chris from Doodle Do, I bet he likes it rough!

[WanderingTrolley]

But morningpaper, are they made by fluffy bunnies and exported on the wings of doves?

_

I DEVELOPED A NERVOUS TWITCH at the start of this thread

I LAST REMEMBERED HOW MANY CHILDREN ARE MEANT TO BE HERE in the wee small hours

[WideWebWitch]

I love it on hunsnet, it's so friendly!!! Thanks for being so sweeet all of ya! xxxx

___

THIRTY days before I marry my death row penpal

"I'm not perfect but I'm so close it scares me !!!!"

[SoupDragon]

[Emoticon: bouncing red heart which explodes into 100s of tiny little red hearts like fireworks]

[FrannyandZooey]

Hiiiiiiiii guys, can I join u all?

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It has been TWENTY SEVEN DAYS since I last had an original thought

My little angel from heaven spent FORTY-NINE MINUTES with his hands down his trousers today

I am THREE STONE AND TWO POUNDS HEAVIER than when I met my beloved hubby

I fantasise about George Clooney every THIRD TIME we have sex

============================================

men are from mars, women are from venus, babies come from uranus

[butterflywings]

I just wanted to say how lovely and fluffy you all are ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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It has been 7 MINUTES since I last sniffed my armpit

It has been 22 SECONDS since I last shouted "crap"

It has been 3 HOURS since my last smear test

It is 4 YEARS until I the next time I have sex

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[MrsWho]

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Shiny Sparkly dds name*

[mumemma]

PMSL!

You must add the Weightwatchers stuff they do - see below!

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(in pink Comic Sans)

Start weight: 23st 5lbs/Target weight: 7st 1lb/Current weight: 24st 9lbs

Darling Angel 1 has blonde hair, blue eyes and an ASBO

Darling Angel 2 has ginger hair, green eyes and a different father

40 seconds since I opened the second bottle of Piat D'Or

20 mins until I open the next one

3 minutes since I last farted

I've been wearing a tracksuit for 6 years (the same one)

DH is working late again, he's having a meeting at the Travelodge

Check out my ebay shop fluffybunnyhoneysucklebabythings





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[Whizzz]

Does anyone have any links to free things please - I luv to have lotz of totally useless junk landing on my doormat

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132 items of junk mail arrived this morning
5 tonnes of paper to recyle this week
1 postie with a bad back
1 free Always Ultra sanitary towel (with wings) and a small fridge magnet of the Tetley Tea folk

[wurlywurly]

PLEASE STOP MY SIDES HURT

_
2 minutes since i pissed myself
5 mintues til i clean it up

[tombley]

(((((((((((((((((hugs to all my netmums best friends)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
13 days before Chardonnay auditions for X-Factor
=============================================
12 days before I get my acrylics tipped

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
Chardonnay is 16 years 3 months 8 days, and 13 hours old

=============================================
Keeping the Dream alive!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Do it for Mummy Darling!

[WideWebWitch]

OMG, check out this, pleasures in Kent haven't opened the link but not for Los!!! xxxx

___

FIVE seconds since I started using the phrase LO

THIRTY seconds since I used the word gusset

FIVE minutes til dh and I go swinging again

[MrsBadger]

omg this thread is just so lovely! I love hearing about all your little darlings!



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84 days till we meet our new angel
36 Magnums consumed this pregnancy
27 matching Pooh-themed items bought for Baby's room