Netmums Sty-lee thread: Add your ticker here!

[morningpaper]

So let's chat and add our tickers. First person to say the word "arse" is disqualified.

How was your day?

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BABY NO 1 is FOUR YEARS and 245 days old
BABY NO 2 is 20 months and 12 days old

It has been 45 HOURS since I was last chased out of town with a PITCHFORK

I last OVULATED 3 days ago

It has been FOUR MONTHS since I last cleaned my Mooncup properly

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Awww, (((((hugs)))) islandofsodor. Are you having a bad day, hun? Put your feet up and have a glass of wine

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It is 157 days since I last had sex

Only another 10 years until I earn enough to afford a poxy 2-bed flat above a shop, maybe

Ds has had 4 tantrums today

5 months since I cleaned out my Mooncup properly

It has been a bit muggy here today. It will b nicer tomorrow. how r things with u?

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only baby is 2 years and a few months and a few days old

It has been three hours since I started feeling broody

It has been 2 and a half hours since baby had a tantrum and I stopped feeling broody.

It has been 3 minutes since I started feeling broody again.

It's been 7 hours and 15 days since you took your love away

I was only 24 hours from Tulsa

There are 3 steps to heaven

Oh this is Cruel. Cruel. CRUEL, I say!!!!!!

But oh so fucking hilariously funny.

I am trying to add to this post, but am laughing too hard

hugs to all

BABY NO 1 is younger than the cat but not as old as its fleas.

It has been 2 HOURS 48 MINUTES since the baby shat on the living room floor.

It has been 1 DAY 3 HOURS 12 MINUTES since the cat shat on the living room floor.

It has been 5 HOURS 22 MINUTES since the baby peed on the bedroom floor.

It has been 12 HOURS 4 MINUTES since the cat was sick in the kitchen.

[insert pair of yellow rubber gloves here]

roffling

DS is OLDER than when I last checked
DD is probably HALF WAY up the stairs
It is 10 MINUTES since I told dh I was off to do some work whilst he tidied up

Morningpaper .. yohoo sweetie .. where did you get that picture? OMG OMG sooo funny .. I almost peed my pants I laughed so hard and Kevin came downstairs to see what I was laughing at .. but being a man he just doesn't get it

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4 hours 3 minutes till my next bowel movement

If the world gives you lemons, make lemonade

Wine, did someone say wine? I love a nice drop of Liebfraumlch!!!!!!!

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I have eaten 34,000 calories today

It has been TWO HOURS since I told anyone to fuck off

and TWO days since I last called anyone a cunt

Can't wait until tomorrow because I'm at work all day

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Last night I got out of bed 21 TIMES

I have FOUR pairs of slipper

My contraceptive of choice is the DIAPHRAGM

There are 18 MONTHS until the American Presidential Elections

"Babies laughter is the sound of fairies peeing on the floor!" (or similar)

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Hi everyone ((((((Hugs))))))I'm a newbie.

How do I get my tickers to work?

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Baby no 1 is 46 years and 765 days old
Baby no 2 is a meerkat

iT Is

It is 6 MINUTES since I joined you LOVELY ladies here On Tickertasticbuddynet

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snort

Oh dear God - you are not joking are you? I just went over for a look. Blimey Charlie (staying with the netmums feel).

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It has been 35 minutes since angel two bit angel one

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It has been 34.5 minutes since angel one smashed angel two over the head with her twirling baton
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It will be 2 hours till darling gorgeous husband returns from A&E with angel two.
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Insert fuzzy weirdy repeating photo of my two angels here.
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Oooh it's nearly bedtime

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It has been SEVEN YEARS since my last Confession

It has been EIGHT DAYS since one of my children was sick

The price of petrol is 96.8p per gallon

It has been FIVE YEARS and EIGHT MONTHS since I last had a bowel movement in a room by myself

It has been SIX DAYS since I last masturbated

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Awwwwww Oggsfrogs Welcome Babes! (((((HUGS)))))

My next antidepressant is due in 3 hours and 15 minutes 21 seconds

3 days to go before my next amalgam filling

I go out less times then the rubbish

laughing too hard to add anything!!

Nannyogg, I'm going to send you some babydust anyway ((((((hugs))))) hope your day gets better soon.

Put your feet up and have a glass of wine, everyone - especially you, www

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2 weeks since last bowel movement

2 sachets of Senokot remaining in pack

You lot are so hilairious . My day is beter for you entertraining me.

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It has been 1 YEAR AND ELEVEN MONTHS since I failed my GSCE English

ARSE

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30 seconds since I was removed from this thread.

Hi all
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I have lost 5lbs..only 600 stone till my target

I have 3 demons who thankfully are asleep

I hate my DH

I last went on holiday 4 wks ago

I last had sex..........who burloody knows!!!

hugs to all the huns

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I have weed on 14 pregnancy tests today

14 were negative

dh will be back from the chemist with more in 7 minutes

It has cost us 89 pounds so far

I am on CD 22 (is it too early to test?)

[inset bizarre bubble type writing of my son's name with associated tiny twee fairies and pixies]

I don't drink any wine with an alcohol content of more than 7%

[huge bulletin board with 12 fuzzy photos of an unidentified child peering into a camera with different amounts of snot coming out of its nose in each shot]

PROUD TO BE A SAHM MUM WHO GOES OUT TO WORK (imagine a pink glittery border please)

oooh sorry forgot the "XXXXXXXXXX" to you all.

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23 minutes since my last shag
11 minutes since my last vodka

Comments on devestating news piece designed to bring tears to any parent's eye (such as Darfur etc), completely missing the ironic juxtaposition of my tickers

19 weeks pregnant with baby no 3, only 141 days till my fanny is ripped in two

Baby 2 is 3 years, 5 months and 3 days

Baby 1 is 18 years, 7 months and 21 days

Life is a bowl of cherries, don't choke on the stones