This thread reminds me of the coat hanger cunt we had once in our office. He had two spare suits, spare shirts, spare ties, a mac and a coat, and he hogged the wardrobe on the dealing floor, using up aroud half the space and 10 coathangers. And he would go ape if anyone used 'his' coathangers (they were office ones, but were wooden, rather than the shit metal ones). He'd remove other peoples clothes from nice hangers ift hey dare to use them and and openly tell them that their shit cheap clothes weren't as important as his, because he had clients.
It was a three-phased approach,, planned across many evenings, with tactics drawn on the beer mats.
Firstly he found that every day his clothes mysteriously ended up in exactly the same place in the wardrobe, but hanging on the shtie hangers, instead of the posh ones he always put them on.. He went ape. Then the good hangers went on holiday, sending him postcards, and photos of themselves having a whale of a time sitting on deckchairs, or being caressed by lap dancers and suchlike around the world. And finally, the gift phase. People in the office started to return from business trips and holidays with chocolates for the PA, and coathangers for the cunt. With deadpan faces people would drop by, and would hand him a coathanger, (often gift-wrapped) saying - totally deadpan - things like "i was in the Mandatin in Hong Kong, and, my god, this coat hanger was so beautiful, I just had to bring it back for you".
It went on for months and only stopped after we moved on to the 'advent calendar heist' which broke him - HR came and (quite rightly) told us all off. i think they made us buy him a new advent calendar that hadn't had all the chocolates removed and replaced with blu tac