Why the Friggity Frig <GLARES> didn't anyone, not one of you, think

[Honeydragon]

to tell me what a piece of piss Chicken and Sweetcorn soup is to make! It takes 5 minutes and costs fuck all. I have being buying this stuff you know? With ACTUAL money.

One idle google and 10 minutes later dd and I have a pan full for lunch, it's lovely.

It was bad enough finding out about cleaning washing machines, and Veet to unclog hairy plug holes.... and now you failed to tell me this

Well you horrible lot, what else have you being holding out on, and keeping from me?????

Tantrums, my toilet dilemma is too childcare related boring to sully this thread with! Am now trying to make up toilet cleaning dilemma for form's sake....

Oven cleaning

Put 1 tablespoon of caustic soda into 500ml of hot water in a plastic bucket or large pyrex container. Put the soda into the water, not the water onto the soda. Wear thick ruber gloves and swab the inside of the oven with the mixture. Put some plastic down to protect the floor if you think you might drip onto it. Leave it until a small test patch wipes clean with a plastic saucepan scourer. The length of time is the most important bit, only a filthy oven will need a stronger solution of caustic.

When the caustic hs softened the dirt wipe it off with a plastic scourer and rinse the inside well. You really don't want residue caustic dripping on your food. Finally wipe the inside of the oven with 1 tablespoon of bicarb of soda in 1/2 pint of water. This will make the oven easier to clean next time.

• soak oven shelves overnight in water and washing up liquid and a good dash of bleach.
• sprinle salt immediately onto any spills, it might help to not burn so easily.

We can still help .... As long as it doesnt involve tortoises

I think we have quite a good knowledge of tortoises now honey :)

Here is the link for 2000+ uses for WD40

www.wd40.com/uses-tips

(I bet you all go straight to the 'On The Job' section) :o

best thread everevereverever.
not only stupidly funny but handy in a cut-out-and-keep way too!

my top tits!

• you can take the top rack OUTof the dishwasher so you can get huuuuuge things in
• cillit bang kills weeds
• cucumber in Gin&T is muuuuuch nicer than lemon

Thanks Fabwoman - am preferring the caustic soda option to the idea of someone else seeing how bad I've let my oven become paying out £50

ahem

tiPs

as you were

"oh my actual god"
I have found a mobile oven cleaning company in my area-I never knew!
£30 to clean my oven-seems pretty reasonable? hangs head in shame in realization I would pay way more than that so I don't have to do it
Have just called and booked for Thursday!

I don't care what they think of how I've left my oven, I have no pride!!

2 simple ones from me.

Always clean your bathroom when dreamy - so much easier.

Also all messy/crumby jobs should be done on the work surface above the DW - job done then swipe the dusty/crumby stuff straight into DW. Sorted.

Sooo simple I'll bet you're kicking yourself.

?

Dreamy bathrooms?
I want one of those

Chaos your second tip is genius

What is a DW?

But then you have to unclog the dishwasher...ugh another job I hate :(

Aaaah I see, dont have one :(

Dishwasher

Scrambled egg burnt on pan? Neat bleach. Leave for ten minutes. Rinse.

I got quite excited when I discovered this.

Just marking place, too tired to read the tips.

So far i got WD40 is good for oiling your clit.
And veet gets rid of sweetcorn in the plugholes.

Amazing.

Weeds growing out of paving cracks can be got rid of by pouring generous heaps of plain cheap salt onto each weed. Replenish if the rain washes the salt off too quickly. The weeds will turn brown and dry up .
By doing this last year Ive finally got rid of horribly tough grass that persisted for years despite all sorts of weed killer etc and now have weed free paving :o

Obviously this is not for an area where your prize begonias are flourishing.

honey my ears were burning...watcha want eh?

I fort chaos was referring to her darling wife...I was going to suggest it was a bit mean...

After reading about the banana, I thought I'd see how many of you knew how to chop an apple in half using just your hands?

firstly, without the apple, put your hands together then move both sets of fingers down so that your palms stick out and you can see a heart shape in the gap between them, keeping your fingers touching. Now hold an apple in both hands and try to emulate that shape with your fingers meeting in the middle at the top of the apple and the heel(?) of your palms cuddling the bottom of the apple. Now use your thumbs to push the apple while your fingers pull the top of the apple apart. The movement will be facing away from you.

I found this trick great for kids who only take a few bites of a whole apple before discarding it, makes it a lot easier to eat :)

I am an amateur

Rushed off to put whiffy washing machine on a hot wash. Sat back down v smug to guffaw at this thread some more. Then remembered that I'd chucked DD's PJs and Muslims in there earlier. Now obvs going to be size of fricking borrower pjs...

Also just asked DH if he fancies a banana as I "want to try something". To which he responded "what? Put it up your bum?" WTF is wrong with him???

Humph... You're Late

I am buying fruit tomorrow solely to play with