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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

I need to hear positive stories of those who are over 35 having a healthy pregnancy after miscarriage

27 replies

nomorewine · 12/05/2010 18:38

I found out I had had a MMC 5 weeks back. I am 37 & this would have been my first child with my lovely DP.
I feel desperate to try again at some stage (not just yet though as don't feel strong enough), but keep reading about & hearing about people having multiple miscarriages after the age of 35, so feel maybe I should not try again as I am scared it will just keep happening.

Has anyone got any stories that might give me some hope here?

OP posts:
kareninhampshire · 12/05/2010 19:45

Hi
I am 37. I had three m/s ( at 11wks, 5 wks and 6 wks) and then had a beautiful baby boy- yext book pregnancy. He is now three. I have snce had three more pregnancies (2 ectopic and 1 6 wk m/c again). We are still trying for no2, and pinning all my hope on the fact that I battled to have no1! Hope this gives you some hope?

Allora · 12/05/2010 21:52

I am 36 - I had a missed miscarriage in december 08 (11 weeks but measured 6)
I am now the very proud mum of a beautiful baby boy. I was totally obsessed for the months before i conceived again and until I got the 12 week all clear but since then no looking back. Also in my antenatal class I was one of the youngest! There were at least 3 or 4 women in their 40s.

It's such a horrible thing to go through but it doesn't mean anything in terms of your childbearing potential. Kepp up the healthy living and take biocare multivits. I swear that was what helped me even if it just made me feel like i was doing something.

Good luck
This too shall pass. I promise xx

isthatporridgeinyourzone · 12/05/2010 22:02

NMW - really sorry to hear that. I had 2 m/cs before having DS1 at 34. Then went onto have DS 2 at 38. You must be feeling very worried, I know I was, just be kind to yourself.

thecatatemygymsuit · 12/05/2010 22:09

Hi, just to reassure you. I had 2 miscarriages (one at 20 weeks) between the ages of 36 and 37, with no underlying cause.
I had a healthy dd when I was 38, it's not too old!
wishing you all the best

Eaglebird · 12/05/2010 22:31

So sorry to hear of your loss.
I had MMC (12 weeks) in 2006. Got pregnant again 4 months later & gave birth to DS aged 38.
Happy endings can & do happen x

rileyjdw · 12/05/2010 22:54

Hi nomorewine - really sorry for your loss, have just turned 39, first pregnancy was mc at 10weeks when I was 31 then had first ds at 33 another mc when 35 then ds2 at 36, and would dearly love another baby but also had mc in feb - I know how very hard it is to to get through this difficult time but hope that maybe my story might help - am still hoping it might happen for me again.
Thinking of you and hope you feel better about it all soon.

hester · 12/05/2010 23:15

It seems to be really common for older women to miscarry their first pregnancy - certainly true of my friends - but then go on to conceive and carry to term afterwards.

I miscarried at the age of 40, after trying to conceive for ages and ages. I then conceived again three months later, and had a wonderfully healthy pregnancy.

I know this is a very rough time, but try to feel positive. The odds are very strongly on your side. Most 37 year olds ARE fertile - you now know you are - and the vast majority of women who miscarry do go on to have normal pregnancies. In fact, most women who miscarry two or three times still go on to carry a child to term.

Best of luck.

TheStraitsofWTF · 12/05/2010 23:19

I am 38 - got pg in 2005 aged 33, but lost dd1 to anencephaly. Had dd2 in 2006, all fine, and then got pregnant in 2008, only to miscarry at about 8 weeks, discovering later that it was a molar pregnancy. Got pg again in 2009, and now have 7mo ds asleep (finally!0 beside me.

It has been a hard road, and I can't believe I have the two children I always wanted with me now - really worth all the heartache and stress. Good luck.

MintChocAddict · 12/05/2010 23:31

Hi,
Really sorry for your loss.

I had DS at 32 after TTC for about 10 months. Conceived again at 35 following over a year of impatiently TTC, using pre-seed, grapefruit juice, OPKs - the works really - but miscarried around 8-9 weeks.

Was shocked and delighted to conceive again very quickly without any of the above conception boosters and am now 28 weeks pregnant and aged 36. There does seem to be a theory around heightened fertility post-miscarriage but am not a medical expert so not sure of the ins and outs of it.

Don't give up hope and take the time you need. You'll know when you feel ready to try again.

Best wishes to you.

thinker · 12/05/2010 23:37

I am 39, I lost my first baby at 22 weeks- devastating, then i mc at 9 weeks then 7, 3 years ago I had a healthy daughter, then I had a mc at 5 weeks, then 10 months ago i had a healthy son and now am 22 weeks pregnant with my 3rd, a girl. Just keep going xx

Kafka9 · 12/05/2010 23:41

I had a mc between ds and dd I was 36 or 37, I went on to have dd. I can still remember the devastation and the feeling that I would never carry a baby to term again. V high statistic for mc in women generally 1, in 3 pg? end in Mc, many women mc so early not aware pg,
when you feel ready start trying again
best wishes
I have never forgotten my third child

Original poster
nomorewine · 13/05/2010 18:04

Thank you for sharing your stories - they have given me hope.

OP posts:
Lynli · 14/05/2010 22:25

Hi so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, I know how you feel the same thing happened to me at the age of 37. I worried about trying again and couldn't decide what to do. At the age of 39 I found out I was pregnant again, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, he is now ten years old healthy,intelligent and definitely worth everything I went through to get him. Good luck

Original poster
nomorewine · 14/05/2010 22:37

Ah, that is lovely, Lynli. So pleased to hear of your positive outcome.

I feel so scared that this will happen again & again, so it is nice to hear these positive stories.

OP posts:
shazzaren · 15/05/2010 08:28

Hi
I had my son in 2004, 4 mc's then had my daughter in November last year aged 40. With each loss I grieved, dusted myself down, drew on all the strength I had and tried again. It takes strength and a good relationship I think. I only tried again when I knew I could handle the outcome, whatever it was. Speaking to friends and family helped too. Good luck. x

Original poster
nomorewine · 15/05/2010 12:07

Goodness, that must have been awful to go through it 4 times, shazzaren. So pleased you got your happy outcome at the end though.

OP posts:
shazzaren · 15/05/2010 12:18

You will get your happy outcome too, stick at it if its what you really want, it will be worth it in the end no matter how hard it is for you now. Chances are the next one will be absolutely fine and YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD!!! x

loopydoopy · 15/05/2010 13:39

i am so sorry you are going through this x

i mmc at 10wks at the end of jan and although it was not my first pg (i have a dd aged 6)i was 37. it is a horrible horrible thing to go through and its something you would never wish on anyone at all. i am 38 now and dont feel that i am too old to have anymore, yes the worry is and would be there about it happening again and going through the heartache but i would really love to try again as another dc is my hope and dream.

what i am really trying to say through all that waffle is i would rather try again than not because if i managed a healthy pg then the outcome would be worth it. i think the worry will still be there no matter what as it is only natural

as said before you will know when you are ready to ttc again (no matter what age you are!)

Take care xx

Original poster
nomorewine · 16/05/2010 00:07

I agree with you there I think. No matter how scared I am (& I really am!)I know I must try again.

OP posts:
mollybob · 18/05/2010 07:28

Mc in April 09, conceived again in august. Not very patiently waiting for dc to arrive now - am 39+ weeks and I'm 38. Good luck

AnyFucker · 18/05/2010 07:39

not quite in your requested age group but wanted to swell the number of happy stories

I had 2 mc's (coupled with subfertility issues) and then a healthy pg at 35

SKYTVADDICT · 18/05/2010 07:47

Sorry to hear of your loss.

I had a mmc at 38 followed by two healthy pregnancies at 39 and 41 and have two lovely little boys who are now 3 and 21 months.

I say go for it x

hazeyjane · 18/05/2010 07:54

nomorewine, sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

I had dd1 at 36 after having 2 mc, one of which was a molar pregnancy, and left us unable to ttc for 2 years. Altogether it took us 7 years to have dd1.

Dd2 arrived a year later (14 month gap) when I was 37, and I will have dc3 in July when I will have just turned 41.

It was a struggle getting here, but I think I just hit my fertile patch late!

SophiasMummy · 18/05/2010 16:15

Hi nomorewine,

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage - I have had several now, but the first was still the worst by far... the shock, heartbreak and fear that I would never have a child. It didn't help that it was a complicated miscarriage and I had to go for lots of tests afterward - it really was several months before I felt myself again, so give yourself all the time you need to grieve and recover... physically, emotionally and spiritually. My heart goes out to you...

But the good news is that six months later (at 36) I conceived dd who is now three.

Your fertility may not be what it was at 21, but I'm sure you've got plenty of time left and I wish you a happy outcome next time.

Original poster
nomorewine · 18/05/2010 16:28

Thank you all for sharing your positive stories - they really have given me hope.

The MMC really knocked me for six & the emotional recovery was harder than I could have imagined. I felt one part of me was desperate to be pregnant again & the other was terrified of being pregnant & going through all this again.
I am feeling a lot stronger now, and although I am far from ready to TTC just yet, I hope to in the next year sometime. Will just have to try to stay as positive as possible, and take on a "what will be will be" attitude.

OP posts: