MMC at 10 weeks and family weekend

[FlapJackered]

I had a scan at 8 weeks to be told my baby was measuring behind but there was a heartbeat and at 10 weeks (yesterday) the scan has confirmed no heartbeat and the baby stopped growing last week.
I am devastated and can't stop crying.

Because it's bank holiday my GP surgery is closed and my EPU doesn't take self referrals so I have to wait until Tuesday and then I have been warned that they don't accept private scans, so I am looking at potentially another 2+ weeks before they will give me any help. I just want it all to be over now and the thought of carrying my dead baby for weeks is just horrible.

I am also staying with my parents while our house is renovated and they have the entire family over for Easter. So I can't be alone and it's so hard. All I I want to do is curl up in front of the tv and cry and I can't do that because there are people everywhere. I am trying to push down the grief to get through this weekend, I just don't want to feel like this anymore.

Has anyone got any tips for getting through this weekend? I just need to stop myself from bursting into tears in the middle of lunch etc. 🙈

@FlapJackered it is horrible yes. It’s a personal choice I think isn’t it. Everyone has there own reasonings.

I wanted to avoid surgery personally myself. Just because of tiny risks to fertility. But I’m the type of personality who would obsess over it. But reading some medical management options had put me off too.

but my first happened naturally. And feel it’s the best way to let it happen. So the tablets for me felt like next best option.

It wasn’t the nicest experience. But if i needed to do it again I would.

i took first set at 4pm. Next set 7.30pm. And started bleeding about 7.45pm after a walk.

then went to bed. And woke up 1.30am with the first gush of blood and tissue etc. then I had another an hour later. One about 6am. And then 8am.

Then it was over. And it was then just normally heavy-medium period bleeding Friday and still continuing today.

So in 7.5 hours the worst was over. That was my experience anyway if it helps at all.
also didn’t experience much pain at all. Period pain at start before I went to bed. But nothing during the night whilst it was actually happening. I had taken the diclofenic and cocodamol but that was way earlier in afternoon so imagine it wasn’t still working. But the tablets just seemed to force it out well out of my body.

I hope for clear on my scan Friday. But as i seemed to pass quite a lot an now it’s gone to normal period. Fairly confident it’s done.

can totally understand if you’re in house with other people maybe not ideal. Medical management they said works for 90% of woman. But is change it won’t work totally anyway. Although same with surgery. Occasionally it isn’t always successful an then eventually tablet's help clear the remaining.

i struggled and panicked on the day about choosing but feel quite happy with my decision atm.

unsure when I’ll expect bleeding to stop or anything but I’ll keep you updated

Thanks that's really helpful to know your experience. How are you feeling about it mentally now it's over?

I am really worried about the fertility side too. It's really hard to decide.
I have started bleeding today. Not loads but red blood that seems to be very slowly getting heavier.
So I am wondering if I should delay the op and see if it happens naturally.
Were you bleeding at all before you went to get the medical management?

@FlapJackered mixture I think. I had another good cry today. But guess just trying focus on getting all clear from scan. And then getting a negative result to know we can try. Trying focus on that really rather than looking back.

when are you due the op? Friday? So another 6 days as yet. If you’re bleeding red. I would deff say that’s a sign your body may have started things naturally. Which is the best way really.

when I mc naturally. I started off with red when wiping then it turned into bleeding like a period for 2 days. Then on the 4th day I got bad pains and passed the tissue etc. then it returned to normal period bleeding again. So I imagine by the time you were due for op if it was going to happen naturally from this bleeding. It may of.

have you had a Mc before or not? If you haven’t just for reference. Everyone is different. But both of mine, you almost know when it’s happening “properly” as in my experience. You’ll be bleeding and almost feel like you need to go to loo. And then if you like went to urinate and almost beat down with your pelvic floor. The tissue/clots then like falls out. You will know as the sound it will make in the toilet bowl. I could never see anything. As toilet water was so red etc and presume it all dank quite quick.
but I always felt like almost needed to bear down/ever so slightly push.
just so you’re prepared or have an idea that is normal for that to happen. Can be a bit overwhelming if you’ve never had it happen before.

but if it starts up naturally it will be okay. It will soon be over. Sending hugs to you.

pain killers and hot water bottle will be your friend if it does

I have just miscarried naturally. The intact sac came out so I am pretty sure there won't be anything left.
It was very painful and traumatic (similar to labour pains actually) but feel much better now. Just normal period cramps. It is good that I have managed to avoid having to make the choice of management though.

I have had a miscarriage before at 7 weeks so not as far along and it was in 2019 and I seem to have forgotten almost everything about it!

I just hope I get a negative soon and I can put this behind me and start looking forward again.

Good luck on Friday. I hope it all comes back clear.

@FlapJackered oh what a relief! Will the clinic still see you again to scan and check? I think they usually like to?

my bleeding have very much tapered off. Only getting a little. But sometimes get crampy again and a little more fresh red comes out. Hoping that’s normal. As still feel bit like a horse has kicked me in the stomach. everything feels a bit tender still like when your on your period.

i did check yesterday with hpt to see where I’m at. It was still very very bold for me. And it was 5/6 days ago for me. So I’ve got a long way to go for a negative I think…🙁

its horrible still waiting around when you just want to feel better and get on with getting pregnant. Worried it will take a long time to conceive again though.

@FlapJackered so my follow up scan has shown small 2cm piece of retained tissue or blood clot. So even though I lost lots of tissue and blood. Still is something there.

so I’ve opted for more tablets again. To try clear that small remaining piece. They wanted me to wait out for my period but they could take ages with that in there so wasn’t keen on that option.

@Indianna2006 sorry to hear you still have something left to pass, it's so frustrating when you just want it to be over. Have they booked you into another scan?
They won't scan me again unless I have a positive pregnancy test again in 3 weeks. In some way I am ok with that as I have developed a real fear of that hospital now! X

@FlapJackered yes got another scan in a week again after these tablets.
like you said just want it done. I don’t want to test in 3 weeks and still have a positive test.
cos the are just prolonging shit. It’s a nightmare isn’t it and makes it so hard.

@FlapJackered well I’m not sure the second lot of tablets worked. I didn’t bleed anymore or pass anything. Still bleeding lightly but it’s red and fresh. Not sure what that means. 12 days past medical management.

have you been taking any pregnancy tests?

i took one 5 days okay. Was SO bold. Pregnancy like was bolder than control line.

took one this morning and it’s still very bold. But I’d say control line and pregnancy line appear same strength now. If not pregnancy line ever so fainter than control. So think mine has started to change ever since slightly.

presume that pregnancy tests go bold fairly early on don’t they. Like if you were a week overdue period and tested. It would be a strong line. So hoping it means my levels can’t be in 1000s anymore. And that in a week/10 days it might gradually disappear.

Altho if this tissue is still in there unsure. But I feel a bit better having seen a small change.

Sorry, I have only just seen this for some reason.
I am sorry you're still in limbo with it all, have you told the EPU you haven't had any more bleeding?

I haven't taken a pregnancy test. I just can't bring myself to do it yet.
I think I will wait until 2 weeks. It sounds like it's going the right direction if it's getting lighter though.

I had stopped bleeding yesterday but then today I have had a bit of red and then brown blood and a few more tiny clots.

Just found out I have covid now too, just in case things weren't shit enough. 🙄

@FlapJackered oh no. I am in for surgery tomorrow to clear the remaining tissue and stuff that left. And my lining is still too thickened. Which with how much I bled. Can’t believe all that is still in there!!

but then it should be done. And I can draw a line under it and wait for negative test. Taking aggges and it does anyway. But cos this retained tissue. Hopefully after tomo my hcg will drop quicker

@Indianna2006 how did the op go? How are you feeling? At least you will know for sure it is all gone now.
I have had some more bleeding today, just so fed up with it never ending. X

@FlapJackered yes it went as well as expected I think. I was nervous. But staff were so lovely.

an rather that bleeding brown old stringy blood. I now have some fresh red blood again which is tapering off. Which is I think a good sign they got remains of what was hanging around.

oh I know it goes on and on. How many weeks past your mc now?
Mia so hard to know what to do but if I still have a very strong positive and bleeding 2 weeks out I’d call EPU back. Because if it hadn’t all cleared. You don’t wanna be hanging around.
an surgery is best route and way to ensure all is gotten probabaly.

i felt a bit groggy after waking. But already when I cough an I tell they pain has gone. So feel hopeful they’ve got it all. And in a few days I will feel much more myself which I am pleased about.

That's good to hear it all went well and you're feeling ok.
I am 2 weeks on Monday but just feel sick at the thought of doing a test, I just don't want to see a positive and I feel like it is not going to be negative yet. I might just leave it another week as I am pretty sure the EPU won't want to see me before then anyway. I just can't wait to have my normal cycle back and things to be predicable again.

@Indianna2006 how are you feeling?
Have you had a negative test yet?

I took one today and it is very faint but still there. I am still getting the occasional bit of brown blood too.
It is such a mind fuck taking a pregnancy test in this situation. I think I will give it a few more days and take another one.

@FlapJackered no negative test yet. Took one 2 days ago an easy starting to fade out but very much still there really. I will take another one Friday I think.

im still obv bleeding from my surgery Altho it is lightening. So hoping in another 5 days that might be enough.

it is such a headfuck.

i just wanna get a negative. Ovulate and know my next cycle is coming!

@FlapJackered I took a test last night and it was quite faint. So mine had changed a lot in 2 days. I think mine might be negative in a few days!! So deff test again after 2/3 days. I think at the end when it’s dropping so low it can change so quick.

mare you going to try again straight away? Think DH wants to so we’re going to try catch this ovulation. Just working out where it lands. An then after that things should hopefully settle a bit more.

@Indianna2006 that must be a relief to know it's going the right direction.
I will test again tomorrow I think.
We are going to try this cycle, I just want to get pregnant again as soon as possible really.
I did an opk and that was negative so I think I will start doing them everyday and hope I get a positive at some point, I realise I may be testing for a while and I may not even ovulate but it helps to be focusing on it. Will you take opks or are you just going to try and see what happens?

@FlapJackered I will do opks and check for bodily signs and hope to catch it. I will start them once I get my clear negative. I ovulated a week after my negative test after last mc. So maybe expect something similar this time but it’s hard to be sure.

yeh I want to be pregnant again as quickly as possible. But know ttc can take realms of different times and some of if it luck.

I’ve been pregnant. Cycle one. Cycle 7 and cycle 11. So who knows. Sigh.

@Indianna2006 how are you getting on?
I had all the signs of ovulation but then no positive opk so I think my body might have geared up for it then had second thoughts.
Already slightly fed up with the opks already though! 🙈

@FlapJackered well I’ve stopped bleeding and negative test. But yes not sure on the OPK front lol.

mine were bold but I think just from low pregnancy hormones. There now fading out. So expect them to gear up again tbh at some point.

it’s a minefield isn’t it.

i only had a negative Saturday though so maybe in about a week?!

I had a positive opk today. We have Dtd this morning. Mixed feelings about it. I feel a bit of fear of getting pregnant but also desperate to be pregnant again!

How are you? Have you started testing yet? X

@FlapJackered oh that’s good! I understand about the mixed feelings though.

well I was getting positive opks at the end of my faint pregnancy Tests obv I presume due to the high hcg. But I had what I felt like was ovulation pain. EWCM. But no temps shift until a few days later. But not by loads.

my opks since have been negative but would coincide with a negative pregnancy test too. So maybe just why.

i still have EWCM so I think maybe it hasn’t done it yet..it’s a bit confusing. But I feel like my cervix is open and high so maybe I’m gearing up for it to happen soon.

not entirely sure 😂😂 but will keep using opks to see if I have a surge away from the faint pregnancy tests so it’s more clear.

im okay. I think mainly. Just eager to get this first cycle and cycle out the way so it’s all a bit more predictable

@Indianna2006 I am with you on getting through this first cycle.

I feel like maybe we shouldn't have tried this cycle as I still feel a bit sore. Do you feel sore at all still?

Are you trying this cycle or are you going to wait until next cycle?

@FlapJackered we tried around time I thought I got ovulation pain. But it was literally same day. But not convinced her was it. Not sure if I may try ovulate over weekend again in which we will try yes if so. As we’ve just been dtd when we want.

No I don’t feel sore at all anymore. I was sore for a few days after surgery. But within a few days I felt normal. And now I feel totally back to normal. Which is nice. So no worries about dtd.

where is it you feel sore? Is it like uterus area or cervix etx?
i had felt sore where my cervix was and that etc for like 4 weeks whilst it was ongoing and I had that retained tissue. An couldn’t imagine feeling normal again an bit like sex might hurt. But once I had surgery. I soon got back to normal.