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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Anyone up? Help me get through my second miscarriage tonight!

34 replies

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 14/01/2011 00:39

Has been confirmed today that my 11 week pregnancy is no more than an empty sac :( I have been getting what can be described as mild period pains over the last 24 hours but they've suddenly intensified tonight. After a pretty exausting day I took myself to bed at 8.30 tonight, but woke at about 11pm with stronger pains. I've taken a couple of painkillers which don't even seem to take the edge off it. Now I appear to be getting something like what I imagine to be pains similar to contractions - nothing/very mild pain one minuite to suddenly almost doubled over for about 10-15 seconds and then disappears again (I have never been in labour,so I'm sorry if that discription has offended anyone). My first MC was at only 5 weeks, so was more like a period so I wasnt expecting this. I have come downstairs so not to keep poor DH awake (eventhough he keeps asking me if there is anything he can do - bless him). I just need to keep myself occupied, so I'm turnng to you lot! :)

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AitchTwoOh · 14/01/2011 00:41

oh love, i am gutted for you, so sorry. have you taken painkillers?

AitchTwoOh · 14/01/2011 00:44

i had two losses to ectopic before i had my dds (next two pregs entirely without incident, go figure...) and i was taken to hospital in the middle of the night with the first 'miscarriage' bit. it was painful, not unlike early labour as i now know, but at the time it was all so frightening that i fainted and couldn't move and dh called an ambulance.

they had told me the pain would be mild, but it was breath-taking. and i am pretty tough, tbh. it's rubbish having to deal with pain at the best of times, i suppose, and these are the worst.

StopTalkingAndEatYourDinner · 14/01/2011 00:45

I'm so sorry, just awful news. Painkillers, a hot water bottle and a cuddle with your DH.
Will be thinking of you

KalokiMallow · 14/01/2011 00:48

:( So sorry to hear that you are going through this

ThisIsANiceCage · 14/01/2011 00:51

So sorry. Afraid I'm just off to bed, but have you got a silly film you can watch? Or take a peek at Mumsnet classics if there isn't enough live MN action...

LilyBolero · 14/01/2011 00:53

I'm really sorry to read this. Can you have a hot bath? That might help with the pain a bit. So sorry though. x

Original poster

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 14/01/2011 00:53

Good suggestion ThisIsANiceCage and thank you for your kind words ladies x

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AitchTwoOh · 14/01/2011 00:58

a hot bath is a good idea, i think, however what with my having passed out i would want your DH to keep a close eye on you. i hope it's not too sore, such sad news and so bloomin' UNFAIR let's be honest.

MrsShrekTheThird · 14/01/2011 01:04

hi ifatfirst, sending you a huuuuge (((hug)))

definitely painkillers, and go back to the hospital or doctor to get checked to see if you need an ERPC. so sorry if that sounds a rubbish or insensitive thing to be saying now. I had three mcs before ds1 and several more in between my dc, i'm just a tad paranoid as I had infections a couple of times as things hadn't all gone by themselves.
Hideous thing to be going through, I really feel for you :( just please please keep posting here and get as much support from everywhere you want it. So sorry to hear your news, ohhh it brings it all back. Truly awful.

Original poster

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 14/01/2011 01:06

It's not horrendously sore,but enough to keep me awake, when I so desperatley want to sleep (had no sleep last night with worry,and a day of crying does make you a little sleepy :)) To make things just that little bit annoying, the tiny bit of sleep I did get, I must have been lying awkwardly as I now also have a creak in my neck - grrrr

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Original poster

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 14/01/2011 01:07

I've been booked in for another scan on Wednesday already, just to see how things are going apparently. I've already prepared myself for any intervention!

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MrsShrekTheThird · 14/01/2011 01:09

awww, well I can't help you with the neck (save the pain in the neck jokes for later praps) but put yourself in whatever position feels 'right' - yes as you describe it's pretty much like labour, so treat it as such. You just get exhausted by all the crying, then when you think it's all dried up and you just can't cry any more you just feel wrung out.

MrsShrekTheThird · 14/01/2011 01:14

right, at least the scan bit is sorted. Tis all shite, I just really wish nobody had to go through this stuff. Just hang in there. And hang on to the fact that this is your baby, and get yourself a 'something' to remember your babe with if that sort of feels right to you. I've got a shelf with my lots of little 'somethings', nobody else knows what they're all about - there's a candle, a pebble off a beach, a little mouse ornament, all sorts. doesn't mean a thing to anybody else but I know It just worked for me.

Original poster

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 14/01/2011 01:41

I'm going to try and get a little sleep now. Thanks to you all x

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KalokiMallow · 14/01/2011 01:55

Hope you do get some rest x

kayah · 14/01/2011 02:00

Hope you can get some rest.

dooscooby · 14/01/2011 08:17

Hi-I had a MMC that I found thro private scan at 8 weeks but I chose the natural option and I started miscarrying at 10.5 weeks. Sounds very similar to yours, only thing is that I was given painkillers by the epu so I felt a bit more prepared. I think it was codrydamol that I took and it helped (horrid constipation is a side effect they didn't warn me about!). The severe pain passed quickly for me but I've just had recurring pain on and off since. It's now nearly 3 weeks and I'm still going but I think I'm nearly done (got a 3rd follow up today).

I also had a m/c before at 5.5 weeks and it was quite different but also over much quicker.

Anyway-I hope youve got some sleep and that the pain has subsided a bit.

Casserole · 14/01/2011 09:05

Hope you managed to get some sleep, Ifatfirst, and that your pain isn't too severe this morning. Take good care of yourself today. Can you just hide away and look after yourself today?

Original poster

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 14/01/2011 16:56

Hi, I finally managed to drop off at about 4am this morn and slept until about 8. The bleeding is a lot heavier and I think I passed the main clot later this morning.

The pain eased but has come back with a vengance this afternoon.

I've had a very lazy day, have stayed in my PJs all day and have only moved from the sofa to visit the loo. DH has been an absolute star and is about to go to the shop for some esential goodies :)

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spilttheteaagain · 14/01/2011 17:07

I've been thinking of you today.

Lots of hugs to you. I'm glad your DH is so lovely, hope you enjoy those goodies whatever they may be! (tasty?)

ThisIsANiceCage · 14/01/2011 19:24

Gold stars for your DH. Glad to hear you're curled up warm - with goodies by now!

Original poster

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 15/01/2011 19:32

Thanks for all of your reassuring words, I'm hoping that the worst is over with now. Although, I did think that this time last night and had a much worse night last night - was doubled over in pain for most of tge early morning I've had no major pain since which is good, just period type twinges. The blood has also eased somewhat, although I got a bit of a shock when I stood up and felt something so rushed to the loo and felt something about the size & shape of a hens egg plop out (sorry if that's TMI). I expect that was the empty sac. I spoke with my boss on Thursday, who knows what's going on - and has been lovely, and told her I felt emotionally not so bad, so expected to be back in on Monday, obviously I was naive at the time to all the pain and gore that was around the corner - am I jumping the gun? Can anyone offer any advice as to how long this may last (I know it's different for eeryone, but I don't want to put myelf in a poition at work where I'm dashing to the loo every second,m or the chance that the pain could kick in again. Should I wait until I've had the scan on Wednesday before I make any decisions about work?

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spilttheteaagain · 15/01/2011 22:13

If I personally would take the week off, get through the scan, and then see how I felt next weekend (and see the docs for a sick note if I felt I needed longer). It's possible that you will find it emotionally very tough within a few days, sometimes shock keeps you going ok at the start. You may stay not too bad though so I don't want to upset you by saying it will get worse as it may not.

Also, as you say, there is that worry of the pain or intense bleeding happening at work and I know I would be very worried about that and very distressed if it happened.

Don't push yourself, you've been through something very horrible and if you need some space then that is very normal and you shouldn't feel guilty or pressured about work.

Take it gently x

Original poster

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 16/01/2011 16:08

I have decided that i will NOT be going to work tommorrow. Although, the pain & bleeding have subsided significantly, I'm having a bit of a low day today I knew this would happen - the physical side of it distracted me so much from the emotional side. I took a trip out to the shop with DH an hour ago (the first time out the house since coming back from the hospital on Thursday), and cried all the way there and back in the car - only because I was back out in the real world and I couldnt help but think what it was all like before Thursday. I think work will be to 'normal' for me and I dread being asked if I'm OK by those who know and being asked what was wrong by those who don't.

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ThisIsANiceCage · 16/01/2011 18:16

Aw, sorry about low day. Like you said, to be expected once the physical side has subsided.

Can you prime someone at work to tell people as much as you want them to know before you go in, and to say you don't really want to talk about it? It's always a toss up, isn't it, between the "normality" being a good distraction, and it feeling like a denial of what you're going through.

Sympathy, sympathy...

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