Contraception in menopause

[Randomchat]

I'm overwhelmed with hormones and medication and want to stop something.

I've been on hormonal contraception most of my adult life so I've never had reliable periods. For that reason the gp tells me contraception is suggested until age 55. We've also been using condoms for a while because of vaginal dryness.

I'm taking oestrogen gel (horribly allergic to 2 different brands of patch), progestogen pills and a progestogen only contraceptive (have an odd shaped uterus so don't get on with coils). Unrelated, but I've also started medication for glaucoma recently.

I'm considering stopping the hormonal contraceptive and just using condoms. I spoke to the practice nurse today who said that the chances of getting pregnant at 51 are really small but not zero. Properly using condoms massively reduces the risk. So the risk would be tiny.

I want to stop taking it because I'm slightly overwhelmed with the amount of medicines I'm taking. Also the amount of hormones I'm adding to my body for one reason or another. If it's not entirely necessary I'd like to cut it out.

But I've been on hormonal contraception pretty much forever and I feel a bit terrified about stopping, like I'm bound to get pregnant aged 51 the very first time we have sex. Even though we would still use condoms.

I'm also not sure how I would know I was pregnant since I don't have periods. I didn't have many early symptoms when I was pregnant. Should I take a test every month for peace of mind?

I don't know why I've got a bit fixated on this tiny pill. I would actually love to just stop interfering with my hormones altogether and just be however my body is meant to be, but I don't think it would be pretty, based on how I was feeling before starting HRT. So do I stop this one part of my hormone regime? Or will it not make much difference and I should just keep taking it and stop thinking about it so much?

Please talk some sense into me. Thank you

I’ve used condoms for 25 years with no issues, as the pill didn’t agree with me. Dp has asked recently if we can stop (I’m 51) and I’ve said I’m not sure… I’m on HRT but with some occasional spotting. He’s fine with carrying on. I quite like the fact that he has to clean up!

@Passthecake30 Was vaesectomy not an option? 25 years with the faff and expense of condoms seems a lot tbh!

I've used condoms most of my life, as medications I'm on interact with most contraceptives. The only ones that would work for me are the coil and injection.
I used condoms solely until around 44, and it worked well (when we did try for children, I got pregnant first try on two of the pregnancies, so despite being pretty fertile the condoms were working!).
I started on depo-provera at 44, but there's a cut off of maybe 50, so at 47 I switched to the mirena coil. I haven't had periods since starting on depo, so I take occasional pregnancy tests.

Still don't understand why women in long-term relationships and with completed families continue to subject themselves to the side-effects and increased risks of hormonal contraceptives and/or pregnancy?! Maybe a question for your partner to answer?

I've explained why for us, and so has at least one other poster. In case of death or divorce, the man meets someone else and they want a child.

It looks as if you have strong feelings on older fathers but not everyone does. That's another topic altogether.

@JinglingSpringbells Or he has an affair and wants to "start over again."
It would also appear lots of men are scared of the procedure. Ermmm...

really?? My dh and his friends all had them. What a selfish twat

Oops that was a reply to op and how she couldn’t believe anyone had vasectomies

@09s Totally agree. And also have a non-selfish husband.

We’ve never considered vasectomy, we don’t mind condoms, if anything they take the sensitivity down for dp so that he lasts longer.

@Passthecake30 I'd be terrified of a failure!

I came off the COCP @ 48 didn@'t bother with condoms as the chances are so low.

You’re 51 and using condoms… you’re not going to get pregnant.

Im 53 Would like to stop the mini pill. Partner doesnt produce any liquid at orgasm due to type 2 diabetes. Ive been on it for five years Started it at 48 and was told to start it on the first day of my next period. That period never came so just started taking it

Why oh why are so many perimeno/menopausal women still taking hormonal contraceptives and accepting the increased risks and side effects for so long when their husbands could so easily have a vaesectomy?!!

DH has no desire aged 52 to go through newborn stage again 😂 that would be insane. We have 4DC and DH got his vasectomy when DC4 was 6mo. There was no way either of us wanted any more children together or with a future partner. Both exhausted each day as it is.

OP get him to book himself in for the procedure. And enjoy hormone free living. I couldn't cope with all of what you've described. Sounds hellish.

I agree. This thread has been an eye opener. Even if my final pregnancy hadn't ended in severe placental abruption where I almost lost my life, DH would still have got the procedure done. Takes 5 minutes and recovery is usually quick for most men.

Can I ask what the risks are? I got the Mirena coil last year at 47, as I wanted to use contraception and had previously been on Depo, but they said Mirena was ideal going towards menopause due to the progesterone so I thought that sounded like the best plan?
I'm too scared to risk getting pregnant, but preferred to not have to use condoms. I'd happily be sterilised if it were easier. I'm polyamorous with two long-term partners of 44yo and 30yo, and though neither of them would like a vasectomy I wouldn't like them to give up the possibility of having kids in future with someone else.

@lilkitten A coil is something I would never have considered having once had a life-threatening ectopic (increased risk due to endo). Obviously the coil heightens ectopic risk for a start.
Also an increased breast cancer risk.
But I do appreciate that your situation is different as you have more than one sexual partner.