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Lone parents

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Original poster

Roughly, how much maintenance do you get ?

52 replies

moosh · 01/02/2008 08:22

Just become a single parent and deluded ex partner thinks he only needs to give my ds's pennies.

I have two ds ages 8 and nearly 4 how much do you receive I only need an average to go by.

And where can I go to get legal advice so that it is written down somewhere how much he should be giving? (Not a solicitor can't afford one.) Because knowing him he will think I'm trying to swindle him out of money.

OP posts:
littlewoman · 01/02/2008 09:12

Between 5 and ten whole pounds a week, via csa agreement, for his FOUR children. He's a carpet fitter, and rolling in money, but he can fiddle any system by lying through his teeth.

CayKon · 01/02/2008 09:27

Me and my ex have to pay maintenence for his 2 children who live with his ex. We have to pay £180 a month for them.

tetti · 01/02/2008 09:31

I recieve peanuts,£40 a month for our daughter.Laughable as he spends about £160 a month on fags!(and he doesn't earn half a bad wage either).
Haven't involved the CSA,as I know one better weapon,his mother!
She thinks he should pay a minimum of £100 month,that's only fair,isn't it?
I pay for everything,thank god im in a position at present to do so,but as I'm self employed my work situation can change pretty much at anytime,so no more "mr nice guy",he has to cough up!

Tippychick · 01/02/2008 09:31

I looked on the CSA website where they have a calculator and you can work out what they think is right. I think it's about 15% of gross wage - I just have that figure in my head but I've no idea where I got it from.

My XP, despite many, many, many faults has never questioned the amount I asked him for ( which is more than the minimum on the website).
He does however give it to me only when he comes to see DD ( about every fortnight currently) and leaves it in my desk drawer, will never hand it to me directly. It is sometimes very slightly short ( 5 or 10 pounds) but I have never said anything as he pays more than he has to. I just think it's his way of keeping a little control.

If your XP won't be this amenable then I guess do what littlewoman did and get a CSA agreement. He sounds like a real charmer your XP littlewoman! The CAB should help you sort this out either way.

scorpio1 · 01/02/2008 09:34

we give dss mum £160 a month for one child, he is 6. This is CSA ruled as she got the assessment done through the CSA when she was on benefits.

figure is 15% of wages after tax, NI etc for one child - he will get reductions for number of nights and any other children he may be paying for.

allgonebellyup · 01/02/2008 09:37

i get £250 a month for dd from my first ex.

i get most of my mortgage paid every month by my ex hubby for ds (which is around £450-500)

They are both good men i guess !!

allgonebellyup · 01/02/2008 09:39

littlewoman, that is awful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fordfiesta · 01/02/2008 09:46

we are lucky...ish and get £175 a month, think ex earns about £17,000 a year. csa website allows you to apply on line and they will sort it all out.
Littlewoman, it is easy to fiddle the system if your self employed isn't it.
Have alot to moan about my ex but at least he pays the money,i get lots of when he stays with me more often i will drop your payments though sort of comments. But thats ok as he will have to buy clothes etc himself then so it is fair.

Vacua · 01/02/2008 09:49

I don't get any, he left the country - in fact on the very few occasions he has been in touch (once every 2 years or so) he has asked ME for money so he can see the children, the children whose birthdays he doesn't remember.

MEDAL for me for still trying to find positive things about him for the children, although the older they get the more their own opinions are based on reality. Very sad though.

mum2mum · 01/02/2008 10:02

my dd is 12yrs old and i've been getting 5.20 a week for the last 11 yrs! have recently contacted xp and he has agreed to now pay 250 dollars a month for dd (not sure how much that will be in euros though) i thought it was about time he paid more for his dd as i find myself single again with a 2.5 yr old ds..

littlewoman · 01/02/2008 10:07

Yes, it is very easy to fiddle the system when they're self employed. I reckon he could fiddle the solar system if he tried. Oh dear, Vacua. Sounds like you picked a wrong'un too. Join me in my contempt for a*holes

pirategirl · 01/02/2008 11:22

mine only gives me about 10 a week, when he can. He is self employed, and if he takes a holiday as he hasn't 'worked' we get nothing.

I can't even be bothered with the csa, pride wont let me, not for the poxy amount, I might or might not get.

I havent seen a penny since mid december.

MascaraOHara · 01/02/2008 11:23

none.. oh tell a lie £2.50 a week.. I'd rather give it back to him but that would mean having to see the horrid little weazle faced fuckwit

citylover · 01/02/2008 11:29

20% of his net income as per the CSA.

I realise I am lucky to get this as many don't but tbh it barely covers childcare, school lunches and the inflated rent I have to pay.

chocolatespiders · 01/02/2008 11:33

nothing for dd 1- age 10 she has never seen her dad

dd2 -£250.00 a month

fordfiesta · 01/02/2008 11:35

I really dont understand how they are left to get away with it!!! Do these dads see their kids? Do they not love them and want the best for them??? My ex as far as i am concerned is a total pillock but he loves his son hence he pays up! God some men really do need to grow up!
That said my friend is a single dad and he is going through the same with his ex refusing to pay up as well so i guess it is not exclusive to the dads.

Tippychick · 01/02/2008 12:11

£2.50 is just insulting MascaraOhara ( good name btw). What a slimebag.

Original poster
moosh · 01/02/2008 13:04

Thankyou everyone.

I am shocked by the little amount you guys receive I think I'll go on the CSA website and work it out via the calculator.

I can't believe some of these men are happy to provide so little for their children !

OP posts:
TillyScoutsmum · 01/02/2008 13:07

DP pays #550 per month for his dd.. The calculator on the CSA website is useful (takes into account his salary, how many nights he will have them stay over etc)

CayKon · 01/02/2008 13:29

dh is self employed, but has never tried to lie about his income. Him and his ex just came to an agreement and he pays by Standing Order each month.

We have just started putting our foot down now though, as she is remarried and they both work fulltime we pay maintenence, and she still constintly sends kids to us when they need new shoes, clothes, etc.

We dont mind splitting the cost of school trips etc, but it seems a bit unfair when we pay more than the csa site says and are still expected to constintly cloth the kids etc

PurpleOne · 01/02/2008 14:21

My exh has always been a self employed liar, even when we were together.

Somehow, he pays £16 a week to the CSA and we don't see a bloody penny of it.
I expect him to clothe, shoe and school uniform the kids..that's all I ask for.

But when it came down to the school trip for dd1. (£500 ski-ing in France) I offered to pay half ven though I'm on benefits....the lousy slimebag said he couldn't afford it!

Oh, and a week later, himself and wife were found on a sunbed in the Maldives!

MascaraOHara · 01/02/2008 14:27

There are far too many men who want to see their children but don't want to support their children. It disgusts me.

I think they should have to financially support their children (means tested obviously) if they want to enjoy some of their childrens time.

We get all the shit 7 sick, emotional & financial stress and they get to waltz in and out of their kids lives fucking them up however they wish.

not that I'm bitter.

the CSA needs to be reformed and enforced and men needs to realise they shouldn't be allowed to have their cake and eat it.

Scramble · 01/02/2008 15:28

This thread has made me realise I am doing not too bad with our agreement. He decided he was going to pay the same as the mortgage as he wanted to keep a roof over their head.

stripeytiger · 01/02/2008 15:34

I get £600.00 per month for my two children. That is everything, he doesn't contribute to anything else. He does however earn in the region of 85k a year so that it what the CSA calculate plus he only has the dcs four days a month and not very much at all in the holidays.

moopymoo · 01/02/2008 15:39

i dont get a bean from ds1 dad. he is a $"**&%