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Lone parents

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Original poster

Roughly, how much maintenance do you get ?

52 replies

moosh · 01/02/2008 08:22

Just become a single parent and deluded ex partner thinks he only needs to give my ds's pennies.

I have two ds ages 8 and nearly 4 how much do you receive I only need an average to go by.

And where can I go to get legal advice so that it is written down somewhere how much he should be giving? (Not a solicitor can't afford one.) Because knowing him he will think I'm trying to swindle him out of money.

OP posts:
ZippiBabes · 01/02/2008 15:43

my exh still pays for the children to do stuff..he paid day school fees for one and boarding school fees for on e of the others, he paid all their clothes and shoes and anything they had to have for school i can't remember exactly how much for board and lodging but the estimated cost of it..i provided accounts and all the petrol money for takinbg to school, basically anything that was needed eg laptops, driving lessons,etc

he paid for uni accommodation, has only just stopped paying dd1 for her disposable contact lenses and clothes allowance and she is 24...he also lets dd2 live in his house (he is lioving overseas) rent free which she has done for the last 4 years and paid off all her debts and the bailiffs, and he has just lent me 30k...

I can't really say he wasn't/isn't generous

but he is extremely highly paid and is resident ex uk for tax purposes in a country where the tax is negligible which helps

shelleylou · 01/02/2008 22:26

for tow children u willget 20% of ur husbands wages think thats beforetax. but take into account if he has them on average 1 night a week. Going on that my ex gets just over £22 to have my ds for a weekend and im only allowd 2 keep a tenner a week due to me being on benefits. That actually really sucks only just thought about that lol.

bookwormmum · 01/02/2008 22:33

I get a lot for my dd since it is based on the old system of calculations and he didn't pay a recognised rent/mortgage at the time (lived with his parents: certified accountant, no less). I have no intention of having our maintenance revised in the near future . He stumps up every month just as a good accountant should. I am lucky though.

bookwormmum · 01/02/2008 22:35

I still would have preferred to have been a family 'unit' with maybe more children, than two of us together and him elsewhere but that was his choice .

Nighbynight · 01/02/2008 23:25

Nothing from ex h. The german govt pays me around 650 euros a month for 4 children, though.

OverMyDeadBody · 01/02/2008 23:29

We get exactly £0.

Am not holding my breath either, it's never going to change.

singledadofthree · 02/02/2008 00:14

not a penny here either and never have. ex works and has a partner that does but csa say i'm not entitled to anything - is just as well i work full time too.

shelleylou · 02/02/2008 00:51

thats odd cos by law a non resident parent has to pay towards the childs upbringing.

madamez · 02/02/2008 01:05

Jesus f* christ remind me never to moan to or about Ds' dad again. I know he's a good dad anyway but (and listen up any tightarsed XPs reading this) when he was on the minimum wage of about £800 per month take home he was giving us £200 of it. And now he gives us £250 per month. let alone buying meals when we are out, more than one emergency loan for me when the rent is due and buying me beer when we all go out together.
I'm not smugging here, just horrified and would like to kick the arses of all those men who don't contribute to their DCs lives at all.

duchesse · 02/02/2008 01:08

One sister gets £130 a month for one child.

The other gets precisely zippo-zilch from her bastard ex stalker wanker maniac ex for two children. In fact he owes her a shed load of (lent) money she's never likely to get back.

PurpleOne · 02/02/2008 01:26

The more I read these posts, the more I get.

Came home earlier from a well deserved night out and caught exh snooping in my bedroom. Lost my rag, shot my mouth off and told him to pay up or f* off to do us all a favour! I'm sure his wife wouldn't like me looking in her bedroom?

lou33 · 02/02/2008 01:41

zero
nothing
zilch
de nada

i got a fabulous threatening letter form his solicitor today tho, jolly good fun

i wiped my arse on it

MotherFunk · 02/02/2008 01:45

Message withdrawn

neva · 02/02/2008 12:32

How on earth do these men live with themselves? Surely an essential part of a father's role is to be a provider; surely providing for your children as best you can is something to take pride in. I get barely anything, via the CSA, and have had to go all through their complaints procedure to get that. He sees dd regularly.

colditz · 02/02/2008 12:35

Did you really Lou33? ReallY?

How satisfying if you did!

missingtheaction · 02/02/2008 12:38

csa website is very clear and easy calculations - depends on total number of children and where they live for how many days per week, based on the parent-who-is-there-less's take home salary.

we have a private agreement - i would certainly get more if we went legal, but for personal reasons haven't. i don't think he has any idea that if I did take him to court that he would be out of pocket!

lou33 · 02/02/2008 12:42

i really did

LadyVictorianSqualor · 02/02/2008 12:44

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What's maintenance?

ZippiBabes · 02/02/2008 12:47

i think exh and me must have been remarkabke for the fact that we had a very bitter divorce and found it verging on the impossible to speak and yet he did support his children fully

was not something extended to me but now he is very keen to reconcile so even that is past

we genuinely did manage to put the children first in some ways perhaps i should respect him for that more than i have

colditz · 02/02/2008 13:32

Squalor, are you Caligula?

LadyVictorianSqualor · 02/02/2008 14:47

Nope.

jellibabe · 02/02/2008 15:10

I get nothing for my 2 kids. Have been to the CSA and because he is unemployed and has them overnight that all I am entitled to apparently.

LadyVictorianSqualor · 02/02/2008 15:35

I just had a look at how much my ex should pay, £50 a week, in one way I'd love that money, be could use it, who couldn't, but in another I'm glad the scumbag doesn't pay, or bother, means I don;t have to ever see him or thank him.

2gorgeousboys · 02/02/2008 15:42

My DH pays his exw over and above what he would pay if he went through the CSA and has done since they seperated. He also offers to contribute to school trips etc. Despite this when we took DSS on holiday with us and our 2 DC this summer she sent him with NO clothes - for a 2 week holiday! . Had to do an emergency dash to get stuff as although we keep some clothes at our house for when he visits obviously not enough for 2 weeks!
Was more angry for the embarrassed 12 year old whose Mum wouldn't let him bring any clothes than for us.It is not even that she couldn't afford the clothes as she and her new DP are better paid than we are.

I moan about the amount we pay from time to time but am glad DH loves his son enough to pay up - just wish reading all your posts that she realised how lucky she is.

bigwombat · 02/02/2008 15:45

£0. Ex-h is unemployed (through choice).