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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Birth certificate

36 replies

SarahA69 · 23/05/2019 20:42

Hi, I hope I’m posting this is the right place for some help. My son is a father to a four year old little boy. The back story is he was with a girl for around 7/8 months maybe, then they split up and she was pregnant. A little while after she was saying the baby wasn’t his but her on off boyfriend of several years. The baby was born and he wasn’t allowed to see him. So about 4/5 months down the line she admitted that my son was the father. So we had a DNA test done which proved my son was the dad. Well four years down the line my sons name is still not got his name on the birth certificate. My grandson is now calling himself by her boyfriends surname and that is his name on the play school register. Can anyone advise on how this could be done.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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TheCrowdSayBoSecta · 23/05/2019 20:44

Does your son have anything to do with his son?

HankyPanky04 · 23/05/2019 20:46

He can apply to court to have his name put on the B.C.

dementedpixie · 23/05/2019 20:49

www.gov.uk/adding-fathers-name-birth-certificate the birth would need to be re-registered to add a name. May have to be done through the court.

They can use any surname they want tbh even if the surname on the birth certificate is different.

dementedpixie · 23/05/2019 20:49

Does he pay towards his son?

Starlight456 · 24/05/2019 07:15

I would think priorities would be access .

As he isn’t named on the birth certificate , she can call the child anything she likes

VikingVolva · 24/05/2019 07:31

You cannot d anything.

Your DS o quite a lot before it is too late. Why has he not taken even the basic steps himself?

Did he arrange contact? How often does he see his son? Has he been paying maintenance?

Name of birth certificate is a side issue. If he wants Parental Responsibility, he needs to apply to the courts . Info on how to do this is readily available in line. I know this will sound harsh, by why hasn't he found out all this stuff for himself at any point inthr last few years? If he isn't bothered en to even that, what sort of parenting arrangement do you think is realistic?

Original poster

SarahA69 · 24/05/2019 17:47

My son sees him most weekends. He does not pay maintenance as he is not working or claiming any benefits at the moment. He has brought up the birth certificate with her several times and each time she makes stuff up. He is very bothered about being put on the certificate. There is a lot of background information that I’m not going to put on here. We can’t afford to take her to court to force the issue.

OP posts:

Starlight456 · 24/05/2019 17:52

Maybe he should claim benefits then because the minimum he should be giving is £7 a week . If he doesn’t need the money then he could give more to support his child.

dementedpixie · 24/05/2019 17:54

If she is being resistant then the only other way to do it is by going to court. Why is he claiming no benefits?

Disfordarkchocolate · 24/05/2019 17:54

How is he supporting himself with no income?

Disfordarkchocolate · 24/05/2019 17:55

Even if his name is on the birth certificate it doesn't mean that his son will automatically use your son's surname.

Starlight456 · 24/05/2019 17:56

I do wonder why he is so interested in parental responsibility but not about supporting his child.

RitaTheBeater · 24/05/2019 17:57

Could he get a job so he could afford to take her to court? As it’s very important to him.

She can, of course, give the baby whatever surname she chooses.

As a first step he should find out what the steps are to get his name on the birth certificate and put the information to his ex.

dementedpixie · 24/05/2019 18:02

www.gov.uk/adding-fathers-name-birth-certificate needs a form filling in to re register. Both parties need to agree to it. Or the court decides

Rtmhwales · 24/05/2019 18:03

So his ex's new boyfriend is financially supporting his son? And using that man's surname? Doesn't sound so terrible to me.

He's four years old. Has your son ever paid maintenance? He would have to go to court to add his name to the birth certificate but they're not likely to force a name change this late either. He's four, he knows his name.

womblingalongmarktwo · 24/05/2019 19:55

Are you my ex MIL 🤔

Original poster

SarahA69 · 26/05/2019 12:44

My question was quite straight forward I thought. I just asked about getting his name on the birth certificate. It is very important to him, he has the mothers long term partner on the birth certificate we have found out today. This is not right my son is the father as proven by DNA test 4 years ago. This needs to be changed and I’m asking how. Why he’s not claiming any benefit has nothing to do with my question, I don’t see what the issue is. Thanks

OP posts:

MustardScreams · 26/05/2019 12:47

He may be father by DNA but he isn’t a father is he? The little boy’s step dad has paid for and raised him, why shouldn’t he have his surname?

If your son was that bothered he’d have found out what to do, gone to court, got a job and paid for his son. He seems like e just wants his name on the BC to cause issues for the mother of this child.

Disfordarkchocolate · 26/05/2019 12:50

It's a simple thing to address through the courts, for this he will need to pay. He needs to get a solicitor and they will take this forward for him. Many people really can't understand his inability to pay for his child.

viques · 26/05/2019 13:03

The only way the long term boyfriend s name is on the BC is if he went with her to the registration and agreed to it being on there. And since then, despite knowing the child is not biologically his he has provided for him, cared for and loved him. Which appears to be a damn sight more than your sperm donating son has done.

Maybe it's time for your son to grow up, get a job, learn about condoms and be grateful that his child is being fed, clothed and housed .

First lesson could be "What does being a father mean? DIscuss"

Original poster

SarahA69 · 26/05/2019 13:03

I’m sorry I asked on here. Of course as you are all women you wouldn’t be on a mans side. Had there been a forum for men and parents rights I would have gone there.

OP posts:

viques · 26/05/2019 13:12

I think most people are a) on the side of not confusing a little boy who thinks he is called one thing but someone wants to call him something else and b) on the side of thinking that a real parent sees the important part of parenting as the support and care of a small child, financially and emotionally, not what is written on a piece of paper.

What does the child call your son when he sees him "most weekends". What does he call the "long term boyfriend".

dementedpixie · 26/05/2019 13:12

He needs to go to court to get it corrected. That's the only way if she is being obstructive

viques · 26/05/2019 13:14

PS is Fathers 4 Justice still in existence? They used to be the go to organisation for irresponsible fathers.

Summerorjustmaybe · 26/05/2019 13:14

She has committed an offence putting her bf on the bc. He needs a solicitor.

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