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Lone parents

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Original poster

Checking ex husband salary via csa?

44 replies

Summerstrawberries666 · 15/07/2018 21:36

Hi all

Apologies if not posting in right place, wasnt sure which was best topice!

I divorced husband over 4 years ago, at the time we agreed £300per month as part of consent/court order. At the time he had just made sergeant role in police and was on about £32k i believe. He has since progressed and probably had pay rises each year and has recently been made duty inspector. He claims he is now on less money than before due to no longer getting shift allowance when i have queried raising £300.

In the last 2 years he has also remarried and gained 3 step children, with whom he naturally now lives. He states that he already gives me more than enough and is now reponsible for 3 more children depsire their father paying maintenance. Their combined salary, both in police, is almost 5 times mine. he has our son one evening per week and every other weekend.

In essence, he has never been transparent about money and very manipulative on the whole hence divorce. If her children can be taken into account for his maintenance for our child, conversely can her income be taken into account for his reduced outgoings. I guess what i am asking is, should i go to csa or whatever now called regardless and see if he should pay me more or just leave it and not rock the boat. In the police they pay large amounts into pension, so the maintenance is only claculated after that comes out. When i google inspector salary is was £49k.

Thye have very expensive holidays, maldives etc and numerous cars, motorbikes etc then he goes out of his way each time he sees me to tell me he is skint.
Thanks everyone smile

OP posts:

bastardkitty · 15/07/2018 21:42

You're right to say that your ex living with his step children will reduce his maintenance liability for your children but his partner's income won't be taken into account. It's touch an go whether his payments will increase. It sounds like he has the DCs 4 nights a fortnight. Does he take them on holiday or have them more in the school holidays? I think £300 is pretty low and he sounds like an arsehole too. I would CMS him because then they will review his income every year and if he continues to progress your payments will increase. It also means you won't have to waste your breath asking him not to be a selfish cunt.

Original poster

Summerstrawberries666 · 15/07/2018 21:50

Evening kitty! Thanks for reply, he normally takes son away one week per year, he very rarely takes holidays as obviously he is far too important at work to take time off.. He wont take time off in school holidays ither, unless i wage a war on him in advance then he will begrudgingly take the odd day. He consitently lied about money to both me and his parents so you really cant take him at face value.

I suppose my reluctance to go cms route, and more to the point have him aware of it, is that he will try ro reduce the £300 or at least threaten it because of 3 stepchildren. Although i guess if court ordered he cant pay less anyway?
X

OP posts:

gettingtherequickly · 15/07/2018 22:08

It will be easy for them to find out his salary, but I would caution that having 3 children living with him will reduce the % of his income he has to pay.

I would google his salary band, (it should be transparent) then pop it into the CMS calculator with his stepkids and the number of nights he has your children. It will tell you whether it's worth taking it further.

bastardkitty · 15/07/2018 22:08

You need to play with the calculator as it's possible his liability will reduce. Work out how many nights a year he has them and guesstimate his income less pension contributions, plus include the step children. You will get a rough calculation. But unless they have more children, his salary may continue to rise and over time the payment to you should increase. Incidentally, he can lie as much as he likes about his income - the will work from the HMRC figures.

gettingtherequickly · 15/07/2018 22:13

I've just checked the calculator and I wouldn't rock the boat if I were you. Even with no pension contribution his payments are about the minimum. Sad as it is, they won't force anyone to pay above the minimum.

notapizzaeater · 15/07/2018 22:21

Does he do overtime ? dI are about 49k salary

Original poster

Summerstrawberries666 · 15/07/2018 22:23

Thanks ladies, it is so galling that the 3 kids who aren’t his are taken into equation but new wife’s £40k salary isn’t... it just annoys me that he fobs me off with the minimum payment for his son while the 3 steplids see the benefits of his promotion.

OP posts:

NorthernSpirit · 15/07/2018 22:26

No, his wife’s salary will not be taken into account, why should she pay for children that aren’t hers?

If you have a consent order issued by the courts it can be varied after 1 year.

If he was earning £32k when the consent order was issued and he has your son EOW + a night in the week - he’d be in band 2 for contact and would be liable to pay £273 a month.

If he was earning the same salary and has 3 DSC living at home, this would be reduced to £229 / mth.

HE would have to be earning over £41,600 to take the payment to £300 so I would be sure of his earnings before you went down the CMS route.

limallama · 15/07/2018 22:30

Urgh you had my sympathy until you questioned why his wife's salary was not considered. Her job is to pay for her own kids. Your kids are yours and your ex's financial responsibility, not hers.

bastardkitty · 15/07/2018 22:43

So why is the the Ex's responsibility to pay for his new partner's kids? You don't think that parts weird?

I would consider CMS because it sounds like he will come in around the 300 quid mark but you will know if his income increases and he won't be able to hide it.

Move2WY · 15/07/2018 22:53

I find it odd people are aggressive about you questioning his new wifes salary when his 3 stepchildren are considered with his outgoings. It seems a valid question to ask! And the response very harsh to you.

I agree rock the boat. Get what you’re entitled to. If it does decrease though, can you afford it?

Move2WY · 15/07/2018 22:54

Can they decrease it though !? If he is able to afford this anyway is that not considered?

crimsonlake · 15/07/2018 22:56

First children take precedence over any new family.

Oswin · 15/07/2018 22:57

Northern spirit well yeah so why should he be paying for her kids at the expense of his bloody own.
Its scummy that anyone would do this.

300 bloody quid when hes earning that. What a disgusting man.

Oswin · 15/07/2018 22:58

And yes go to the cmo. You will be sure then and he will have to inform them of any changes.

NorthernSpirit · 15/07/2018 23:15

@Crimsonlake - first children do not take presidence over any new family. Where did you read that? Legally that’s not the case at all. And morally it’s wrong.

@Oswin - of course when you are a family you contribute towards it. I’m a SM to 2 kids - should I just refuse to pay for anything for them? People move on with their lives.

The OP had maintenance agreed through the courts. She now wants to vary it and is woundering if another women should pay for her children. No she shouldn’t. Just like you lot wouldn’t want to pay maintenance to another woman.

crimsonlake · 16/07/2018 00:00

NorthernSpirit -
If the Non-Custodial Parents Remarries -
A non-custodial parent who decides to remarry has every right to start a new life and family but not at the expense of any children he or she may have had from a previous marriage. That's incontestable.

Oswin · 16/07/2018 01:23

No northern shes wondering if her ex is responsible for his new gfs kids then is she responsible for his. Why not?
Why on earth is he allowed to provide for someone elses children at the expense of his own. Its awful.

Whoknows11 · 16/07/2018 06:01

Totally agree with OPs questioning on here.

My children financially suffer as their father was irresponsible to have a baby with the ow within a year of leaving them!

Doesn’t seem fair as 2 salary’s, cms already for the 3 children and his son get a reduced amount!!

lapenguin · 16/07/2018 06:12

Yeah I find it weird her salary isn't taken into account... Sure why should she have to pay for his kids, but then equally why does he have to pay for hers? Together they earn nearly £89k, they an afford fancy holidays and cars. They can sure as hell afford to pay a little more. Also suggest he be responsible for paying for half the childcare in school holidays? If he doesn't want to take time off then its the least he could do.

MaverickSnoopy · 16/07/2018 06:45

Unless you know for certain what his salary (after pension), I wouldn't rock the boat. It sucks, especially as they have 2 incomes and possibly maintenance for his step children, but it's the way it is. Don't forget that if you went through the CMS you'd also have an annual charge so would need to deduct that too.

As for whether it's right that he pays for his step children but less for his own children as a consequence. I don't think it's right. I also don't think that his wife's salary should be used to calculate payments to you. What I think needs to happen is some kind of tapering system. So her salary is included in the calculator to work out how much she is contributing to her children so that his payments aren't reduced by 3 children. A system that acknowledges that he pays for them but that he's not the only one.

Snappedandfarted2018 · 16/07/2018 06:53

I’m going against the grain here I get £140 a month, we share school meal costs and every other month we both pay for ds martial arts club. Both ex and his dw must pull in atleast 55k between them but I certainly wouldn’t expect more simply because his wife works. They have to draw a line somewhere otherwise ex’s would try have a a claim on their ex’s partners income. I do agree stepchildren shouldn’t be included in the maintenance calculation.

Maccapacca88 · 16/07/2018 07:03

I never understand this "why should she pay for someone else's kids" rubbish. Presumably he is contributing to hers? I'd be thoroughly ashamed if my partner was contributing to my kids' having a better life and we were shafting his to gain that. I'd also be concerned that he'd be happy to screw me over if we were to split up. If you get together with someone with children, to me at least, it's a package deal!

bluetrampolines · 16/07/2018 07:05

Snapped

I agree. But if your ex partners new wife had children and that stopped him paying you your £140 you may well feel differently.

BertieBeats · 16/07/2018 07:18

Only do it if you think there's a good chance you'll get a increase. Partner agreed a set amount with his ex wife which never changed ,even after we had our children ,his wages decreased etc...We then get a letter in the post giving him a new amount that he should be paying which was actually less than he was at the time. Ex wife tried to palm it off onto them just updating a case they'd opened years ago ,but funnily enough had the chance of circumstances which she would have had to have told them at the time.
Luckily ,even though partner was annoyed ,he carried on paying what he was. But I know some men would have seen that new quote and dropped it in a heartbeat.

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