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Living overseas

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Original poster

Moved from UK & just miserable

65 replies

ohhhmy · 19/09/2023 21:45

Hi, I moved here with my hubby two years ago and just can't settle, seem to find myself constantly tiring my brain with movers remorse and beating myself up over miscalculations on life decisions.
We did it as our kids got into a good school here, and were unhappy in UK school and wanted to go to same school.
We also moved as I have no family really in the UK and my hubby has lots here, as he's a local, so our kids have llots of cousins, but i just can't help wondering 'what if' on if I'd stayed in London and other UK City we lived in. It's just such a change- holiday experience didn't cover it! I'm thinking I'm just too old to make new friends as plain don't have the energy after working all week. I feel foolish for fantasizing about a fantasy future that just isn't there. My kids, however, are very happy and i keep twlling myself to get perspective and build a tribe of like minded people...is anyone else new here and struggling?

OP posts:
Correlation · 20/09/2023 11:22

Ooh I really want to know more about Guernsey now. What makes it weird and creepy??

Sueveneers · 20/09/2023 11:40

Topseyt123 · 20/09/2023 11:05

Read her posts. After much farting about she did finally let it be known that she is in Guernsey. It was unnecessarily cryptic at first though. 🤣🤣

Show quote history

What or where is Guernsey?

Is that a country?

Sueveneers · 20/09/2023 11:42

Isn't there a Guernsey in the UK? But OP says she's not in the UK.

I don't understand why OP can't just say what COUNTRY she is in.

PosterBoy · 20/09/2023 11:44

I was thinking Jersey but Guernsey is even more shit. Sorry op. Why not just move back?

MentalBloch · 20/09/2023 11:48

How old are the children?

inthenameoftherose · 20/09/2023 11:49

Guernsey is not creepy! I lived there from age 10 to 19 and my family stayed for longer. It’s a beautiful place - I had a wonderful, outdoors childhood. And there are some great people but you may find greater affinity with people who have also come from the outside as it can be very parochial. And yes living on a small island can be stifling.

inthenameoftherose · 20/09/2023 11:52

PS Guernsey is not in the U.K. but it is in the British Isles

Squiblet · 20/09/2023 12:01

inthenameoftherose · 20/09/2023 11:52

PS Guernsey is not in the U.K. but it is in the British Isles

pfffft, OP is clearly living in Gransee, Germany. It's not so bad OP - just over an hour to Berlin?

gogomoto · 20/09/2023 12:37

It's just the shock of a small community, I hated living in a village 5 miles from the city, some of us cut out for small town living.

That said give it 3 years, many people struggle at first with relocating, my now very happy ex bil really struggled with moving to Australia at first and now loves it

Topseyt123 · 20/09/2023 14:17

Sueveneers · 20/09/2023 11:40

What or where is Guernsey?

Is that a country?

Show quote history

Guernsey is one of the Channel Islands!! Just like Jersey and Sark.

It isn't part of the United Kingdom, but the people who live there are British citizens.

HateLongCovid · 20/09/2023 14:20

Lesina · 20/09/2023 06:51

You have my sympathy.Guernsey is the creepiest place on earth. Weird weird weird.

No it's not. I've been there on holiday, thought it was lovely 💐

Topseyt123 · 20/09/2023 14:20

Sueveneers · 20/09/2023 11:42

Isn't there a Guernsey in the UK? But OP says she's not in the UK.

I don't understand why OP can't just say what COUNTRY she is in.

She is in the Channel Islands. British, but without being part of the union that makes up the United Kingdom.

They are closer to the coast of France than they are to the British mainland. You could actually Google it.

Cheesenpickleontoast · 20/09/2023 14:44

Guernsey is also a state off the coast of New Guinea in Ulaanbaatar @Sueveneers. The people there wear ceremonial tatoos in deep indigo and have birch bark saunas. Perhaps that's why PPs think they are strange?

Twiglets1 · 20/09/2023 14:45

I think OP might still be adjusting to the birch bark saunas @Sueveneers

Orquid · 20/09/2023 20:35

Topseyt123 · 20/09/2023 09:11

If you live in the UK then you DO live on an island. Just a much larger one.

OP, a move from somewhere as large and cosmopolitan as London to such a small island as Guernsey is about as comparable as apples and avocados. I know you did it to be nearer to DH's family, but you personally don't seem to have any roots there and that would be very isolating.

Personally, I would look to move back towards London. Far more opportunities for the kids as they grow. It doesn't have to be actually in London, just in reasonably easy reach by train etc. Many such towns and villages are quite friendly and have decent schools. Still possibly a little bit cliquey, but still less isolating than where you are and if you pick carefully you can have decent transport links.

I am in Essex, and about 40 miles to the north of London. Public transport to the nearest station is hourly six days of the week. It hasn't always been so, but has improved recently.

You did need to say where you were otherwise how can people try to help. The site doesn't do it for you. The guessing game was rather comical though. 🤣🤣

Edited
Show quote history

I do live in the UK and try to scape every 6 weeks on holiday outside the UK. I do get cabin and winter fever but I live in London so work, travel and a few friends make it a bit easier.

I think I will go crazy in a smaller island

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