Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

Original poster

Moved from UK & just miserable

65 replies

ohhhmy · 19/09/2023 21:45

Hi, I moved here with my hubby two years ago and just can't settle, seem to find myself constantly tiring my brain with movers remorse and beating myself up over miscalculations on life decisions.
We did it as our kids got into a good school here, and were unhappy in UK school and wanted to go to same school.
We also moved as I have no family really in the UK and my hubby has lots here, as he's a local, so our kids have llots of cousins, but i just can't help wondering 'what if' on if I'd stayed in London and other UK City we lived in. It's just such a change- holiday experience didn't cover it! I'm thinking I'm just too old to make new friends as plain don't have the energy after working all week. I feel foolish for fantasizing about a fantasy future that just isn't there. My kids, however, are very happy and i keep twlling myself to get perspective and build a tribe of like minded people...is anyone else new here and struggling?

OP posts:
Original poster
ohhhmy · 19/09/2023 22:43

Good idea, I think I’m going to accept my situation and hibernate for autumn and winter and see if I come out the other side any better!

OP posts:
Delphigirl · 19/09/2023 22:48

Oh ok. Yes guernsey is not good. Sorry about that.

WellPlaced · 19/09/2023 22:52

Delphigirl · 19/09/2023 22:48

Oh ok. Yes guernsey is not good. Sorry about that.

😂

SM4713 · 19/09/2023 22:57

But you've posted this in 'Living overseas' hence the utter confusion from everyone!

tara66 · 19/09/2023 23:03

Well - do not be tempted by the 'bigger island' Jersey. You are better off in Guernsey as far as the people are concerned - I have lived in both. Guernsey is a very small island.

Angelina1972 · 19/09/2023 23:07

That’s what I thought too!

Lightbulbspark · 19/09/2023 23:37

Are you feeling trapped on a small island with all 'his' family? Sounds idyllic for the DC, but maybe not for you? Can you take advantage of all the good things about living on a small island near France, for now? Learn to crew on a boat? Improve your French on shopping/ food trips to France etc. I've only visited both on holiday so have no idea what it must be like to be stuck there in the winter!

The Martin muddle earlier was funny 😁

BusinessClass · 19/09/2023 23:44

Hilarious!!

liz4change · 19/09/2023 23:49

OP years and years ago I spent a bit of time in GSY and even the long time locals said you had to get off the island every 6!weeks or so or you'd go mad....

mdinbc · 19/09/2023 23:56

Sorry you feel so isolated. In reality though, you wouldn't be back in your old neighbourhood even if you moved back.. At lease there is no cultural change.

Try to put yourself out and perhaps join a group activity. Smaller communities can be tough to break into, but try to find your niche. In the meantime, it it heartening to know your children and DH have extended family to bond with.

Orquid · 20/09/2023 06:44

I wouldn’t like to live in an island.

How old are the children? Can you return before they are teens?

heldinadream · 20/09/2023 06:47

Has DH got any female relatives around your age you can hang out with and possibly get close to? Sisters, cousins, sister-in-laws?
What are your interests? Can you join a book group for instance?
How old are your children?

I do hope things improve.

sashagabadon · 20/09/2023 06:50

Literally every single person in the U.K. is living on an island!

Lesina · 20/09/2023 06:51

You have my sympathy.Guernsey is the creepiest place on earth. Weird weird weird.

Daytrip · 20/09/2023 06:56

I presumed jersey as soon as I saw the words parish but was close enough 😂 I think plan a long weekend back to the Uk twice over winter to break it up , once before Christmas and once around feb it will help a lot. Sadly your at the mercy of condor or aurigny / weather getting off in winter but I think it would help a lot.

Twiglets1 · 20/09/2023 06:58

I would never have chosen to live on such a small island in the first place. Small remote places are always weird and the locals (they are all locals) have backward views as they don't get out much. Their idea of visiting the big city is probably a day trip to Jersey.
The strange view that we will all know exactly where "St Martins" was is promising though. Maybe you will fit in by Christmas?

Orquid · 20/09/2023 07:12

I would see this as an experience and opportunity for children to bond with family but will be moving back before 5 years and send them over during the holidays.

Delphigirl · 20/09/2023 08:22

Lesina · 20/09/2023 06:51

You have my sympathy.Guernsey is the creepiest place on earth. Weird weird weird.

Hmmmm you might be right but I think the Isle of Man could give it a run for its money on the winners podium. Forest of Dean jostling for third place.

Delphigirl · 20/09/2023 08:33

Just read DH this thread and he said “the thing about guernsey is I have never had an interesting conversation in guernsey. I’ve been there at least 10 times and I’ve hated it every time. All they can talk about is how they don’t pay tax. And golf” 🤣

msybe take up golf to fit in?

Lou670 · 20/09/2023 08:36

Laughing at the 'I wouldn't want to live on an Island' comments. The UK is an Island!

Topseyt123 · 20/09/2023 09:11

Orquid · 20/09/2023 06:44

I wouldn’t like to live in an island.

How old are the children? Can you return before they are teens?

If you live in the UK then you DO live on an island. Just a much larger one.

OP, a move from somewhere as large and cosmopolitan as London to such a small island as Guernsey is about as comparable as apples and avocados. I know you did it to be nearer to DH's family, but you personally don't seem to have any roots there and that would be very isolating.

Personally, I would look to move back towards London. Far more opportunities for the kids as they grow. It doesn't have to be actually in London, just in reasonably easy reach by train etc. Many such towns and villages are quite friendly and have decent schools. Still possibly a little bit cliquey, but still less isolating than where you are and if you pick carefully you can have decent transport links.

I am in Essex, and about 40 miles to the north of London. Public transport to the nearest station is hourly six days of the week. It hasn't always been so, but has improved recently.

You did need to say where you were otherwise how can people try to help. The site doesn't do it for you. The guessing game was rather comical though. 🤣🤣

Sueveneers · 20/09/2023 10:22

OP can you please stop playing games? Can you tell us what COUNTRY you're in? @ohhhmy

Topseyt123 · 20/09/2023 11:05

Sueveneers · 20/09/2023 10:22

OP can you please stop playing games? Can you tell us what COUNTRY you're in? @ohhhmy

Read her posts. After much farting about she did finally let it be known that she is in Guernsey. It was unnecessarily cryptic at first though. 🤣🤣

Lightbulbspark · 20/09/2023 11:13

😆I am enjoying this thread.

@Topseyt123 you didn't say in the UK. That is quite remiss of you! Although technically aren't they independent states or something?

And tut, tut all of you living in the UK for not recognising the cabin fever you get due to living-on-an-island-yourself. Don't cha know. Can't you SEE the other side of the island from Birmingham?

isthismylifenow · 20/09/2023 11:15

If it was St Martin in the Caribbean I was going to offer to come over and entertain you for a while.

Sorry OP, have you been open with your DH about how you feel?