Frühlingserwachen - spring finally seems to have arrived in Germany and Austria...

[LinzerTorte]

... or at least I hope so.

For everyone in Germany and Austria, and anyone else who would like to chat!

Linzer, do friends of your dc go to bed that early too? People I know in UK always had their dc in bed by 7pm but I've never known anyone here in Germany or from my time living in France do that.

My dc went at 9pm when they were small and had their long afternoon naps and later when they dropped the naps they went at 8pm. I've never managed to get them to bed earlier.

Once an American mum asked me if it's true that all British parents send their dc to bed at 6pm! No idea where she had heard that rumour.

admylin - my boys (6 & 4) are in bed between 7.30 and 8 and dd is asleep just after. But this still means i have to drag her out of bed for school normally and ds2 didnt wake up this morning till 7.30 so he must need that sleep. I couldnt cope with the dc being awake all eve - i need some time without them.

Bebe - it is hard to be so tired with a toddler but we've all been there so can sympathise. Unfortunately its not going to get better once the baby comes so you need to find some strategies to cope with it before you're all having tantrums!

Bananas - think thats crazy that they need your school leaving certificate!! fair enough if you're 19 but not if you're nearly 40 with a masters and a Phd!! (respect for getting those!!. you sound like your'e addicted to learning tho!! I completed my Masters just before we left the UK and i felt a bit lost when it was finished - think i quite like the challenge on my brain!! altho its not getting challenged at all at the mo!!

The boys are in the Kiga as normal this week so just off to pick up ds2 - ds1 stays a bit longer on a weds! he loves it there - would happily stay all day every day if we let him!!!

Linzer- just dug them out: Multodrin (salbe) and Diproderm (creme). It worked this time, but we have also been through a whole range of things...she is much better now but used to be bright red and really sore as a baby, poor little thing. Enjoy the break from work. Not sure about what I am doing for my 40th really... It´s the 29 April so Kate and Will have stolen the limelight- how dare they . DH is away on the day, in Spain to add insult to injury, so will celebrate when he comes back. It will probably be a day out of my choice (maybe even one just with Dh if I can get him to take a week day off work) or something like that. Have you got any plans for yours?

admylin - my dc also go to bed between 7 and 7.30. But then we get up at 5 - 5.30 so they need the sleep. And so do I!

I am reading through the course more carefully, aargh, not really sure I want to put myself through another degree but I guess I have to unless I find a job. I don´t really want to be a "Social Worker" just work with social issues but this course seems the best way to get there....

I so know I need coping strategies, we've been trying to figure things out since day one. :( Part of the problem is it's only since we've been here that we've had any real problems with her...I mean we had the random weeks, but nothing this continuous. There are so many new factors that it's hard to weed them out and 'control' for them so we can see what the actual trouble is...we've got the big girl bed, the super soaking the bed, the nightmares, the not eating so well, the less stimulus -mental and physical, her general growing and changing demeanour, the fact mommy is having a baby, daddy being home in the evenings again, not having a pet any longer, or the space in the house... any all could be factors.
Someone suggested letting her co-sleep for a while. And i'm sorely tempted, tho I worry as she and dh are bed hogs and i'd still likely not get much sleep, and then the idea of changing OUR bedding when she soaks thru ...ick
anyway I've had a small glass of coke and now will pull that girl out of the house (she refused earlier and was thrashing around the hall like a banshee octopus) we need something for supper and she needs the exercise (as do I, I'm currently gross)

I always used to have to go to bed at 7 pm because my mum said she needed her peace and quiet in the evenings (although I can remember lying awake for ages), so I've just continued the tradition with the DC! They do need the sleep though - DS is the only one who I don't always have to wake in the morning, but he's also the only one to fall asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow.

Some of the DC's friends (mainly DS's friends) go to bed at around 7-7.30 pm, but most go a bit later. My SIL's DC have always gone to bed late (they usually go to bed later than I do now) and she seems to think we're very strict putting them to bed so early. The thing is, even if I put them to bed at 7 pm, the DDs (DD2 especially) will take half an hour or so to fall asleep - but it's the same if I put them to bed at 8 pm; they seem to need a certain amount of time in bed to wind down (and they like to read for a while in bed too).

Canella DS loves it at kindergarten too so I pay a bit extra for him to stay until 3 pm - it also gives the DDs a chance to get their homework done in peace.

x post canella...it´s nice when dc are happy at kindergarten, though not so nice when I rush to pick them up early and they say "what? so early?" next day I leave it a bit later and they complain I am too late! Congrutulations on doing your MSc with children...my degrees were done when young, and mostly because I got grants to go on studying and it was easier then finding a job! Are you still doing your German lessons? I find those stimulate my brain, though, like an old car, I have trouble starting it these days.

Must write some rubbish about why I want to study this subject, what I do in my spare time and what books have influenced my life...groan!

Thanks bananas - we haven't tried either of those, so I'll have to make a note of them. How annoying about Kate and William stealing your big day. And we don't even get a bank holiday here for the royal wedding (can't think why). I haven't really thought too much about my birthday yet, but we usually go away for a weekend (with the DC) between my and DH's birthday (in November) so may well do that. A day out with your DH sounds lovely, especially if you can manage a DC-free one.

bebe That all sounds so hard; I hope you manage to get something sorted out and that your DD's sleep settles down soon. You could always try co-sleeping - it never worked for us, but I know some people swear by it. Fresh air sounds like a good idea anyway; my three always sleep much better if they've been out.

bebe - how old is your dd? i thought she was just about 2? would i not be easier all round to put her in a nappy at night? 2 is quite early to be out of nappies at night and it doesnt sound like she's being too successful with it. it might just make once less job to do if you didnt have to change the bed so often. Its a hard time for her with all the change but she'll get thro it! and you will too! and i agree with Linzer - even if thats the last thing you feel like - get out for fresh air every day!

Bananas - how rude of Prince William to steal your 40th birthday for his wedding!! but i'll def be watching it that day! As much as it drives me mad that she has no career, they seem like a really nice couple and much happier than other royal couples of years gone by! but hope you get your child free weekend some time after your birthday - i'd kill for one of those at the mo!

Agree that two is quite young to be out of nappies at night. At 4, DS still wets the bed despite having a nappy on. He was dry at night for a few months when he was first potty trained, but then regressed so we put him back in nappies at night... and two years later, he's still in them. I tried him in a pull-up rather than his usual nappies last night and the bed was dry this morning, so I hope that will solve the problem. I'm getting very fed up of having to wash the sheets, duvet cover, duvet itself and very often the pillow and pillowcase too!

it is a nightmare linzer when the bed needs changed so often! i hate changing sheets at the best of times but then when everything is wet it seems worse!

Bebe - i feel like i'm being a bit tough on you but its only cause i've been there and had absolutely no help at the time so had to find some way to get on with it! there's only 22 months between ds1 and ds2 (and also had dd to do the school runs with) and my dh was working sometimes 90 hour weeks and we had no parents local on either side to help. so it was just me - tired or not - to do everything. So yeah sometimes the house was a mess but the dc were out every day somewhere they could run free (for their sanity and mine), i made sure they napped in the day and even without dh there i made sure they were all in bed for 7.30. I needed to recharge my batteries too.
so i'm just being tough cause i've been there - you'll find ways to cope! and moaning on here def helps!

The annoying thing was that I'd changed his sheets on Sunday - and then he was wet on Sunday night, Monday night and Tuesday night. If it was just the sheet I wouldn't mind so much, but it tends to be everything.

bebe I think a lot of us know how you feel and can really empathise with what you're going through. Like Canella, I didn't have any GPs nearby to help out and basically had to cope on my own most of the time - and I remember how exhausting it could be (still can be!). You do find ways of coping, though - I worked out, for example, that as long as I didn't let the DC nap past about 3.30/4, I could still have them in bed by around 7 pm, and that if I let them run around outside all morning, they would have an earlier nap. Obviously those might not work for you - you just have to find out what does.

Canella I always feel much better after I've moaned on here - I wish I'd known about MN when the DC were little!

Oh she IS in nappies! Doubled up nappies currently! she's still soaking through them! I've got some things on order (hemp liners and other 'overnight' boosters that I hope by putting in the disposables will mean we'll get thru the night dry) The other night she wet both 'sides' of the big girl bed (flipped the mattress) and then in the morning the travel cot which we resorted to because everything else was wet was also wet... three loads of laundry in just one night OMG I was a bit hysterical that day to be honest. Luckily it happened to be a nice(ish) day that day and I put the mattresses out on the balcony (classy I know) and managed to get thru 2 loads of bed laundry (I had to leave the other for the next day because I had to do her pjs and pants as she'd also gone thru loads of laundry the previous day too!) I had to search high and low for water proof liners (which is one of the reason we ended up all the way in Ausgang at the baby shop) so now, hopefully we won't have that same sort of problem again.

I've also tried to avoid any naps after 3 as it makes it impossible to get her to sleep (and to be honest I don't feel well when I nap that late in the afternoon either). It doesn't always work as sometimes it's impossible to get her in shoes and a jacket to get outside in the morning (I'm really beginning to suspect she's actually a 'night owl' like her dad- he never really gets going until 11, while I feel half the day is gone by then) Like today, she tantrums and runs away and struggles with EVERYTHING, so that I get so tired and exhausted just getting her ready that I'm done in by the time we reach the door. And then my trouble is trying to make sure I can also eat very regular times and proper food because I cannot eat after 5 without being sick all night...
Well it's all such a carefully balanced thing that if a wrench of any size gets thrown into the works it all seems to fall to pieces.

All that being said we finally found a decent(ish) park for her to play at. Everything is supposed to be her size, but for some reason it's all an extra foot off the ground so she can't get on the things by herself...however, once I put her on something she can interact with it! Hallelujah! We spent an hour with her digging and running and climbing and enjoying herself. AND the weather was nice enough that she wasn't cold (and neither was I as I enjoyed helping and watching her play). And then I put her in the wagon and we walked to the store and she was as good as gold. It's now our park of choice and I'll be able to bring the kindle/and or some work there and sit in the sun and enjoy life and my daughter does the same. (this makes me very very happy even if my head is currently still pounding and we didn't get back in time for naps -we're just going to go to bed early tonight)

thanks for being so understanding of my ups and downs ladies!

Bebe, reading your last post - you sound like a saint and superwoman rolled into one!

Canella and Linzer - it sounds like you were in the same situation , as I'm sure many other posters on here were, so maximum kudos to you too!

Any of you know where I can pick up some sanity pills to cope when we get to that stage?! :)

BananaM- Thanks....to me it just reads a desperate attempt to keep it together just a little longer until things finally give

my sanity pills come in the form of milk choco covered Oreos, and FBing my family currently... I don't even like Oreos... but they're keeping me sane (and probably slightly hyped on sugar and low dose caffeine...)

bebe The park sounds great - I used to spend hours at our local park and playground when DS was little, and it was a real life-saver.

Re the bedwetting - is it a recent thing? Maybe it would be worth mentioning to a doctor/paediatrician when you've got your health insurance sorted out if she's wetting the bed to that extent. I'm sure you've already tried things like limiting the amount that she drinks from late afternoon onwards (something we've tried with DS too). I also had to hunt high and low for a mattress protector; I got full-size ones for the girls' beds from Dänisches Bettenlager, but they didn't have any when I was looking for DS's bed and I could only find a small one at DM (really must swap it over with DD1's, as she hasn't wet the bed for years).

BananaM My sanity pills are similar to bebe's: hobnobs, Cadbury's fruit & nut (neither of which are available here, unfortunately), MN and FB. I hope we haven't put you off; it doesn't have to be that bad, even if you don't have family nearby! Tbh I think my ILs may have driven me mad if they were much nearer. My MIL was great at taking the baby so that I could eat, which I really appreciated, but I remember she never used to hold him/her for longer than a few minutes before deciding he/she needed a feed ("Er/Sie sucht!"), even if the last feed had only been about half an hour before.

Bebe, my dc have just discovered Oreos! Expensive they are too! Also spent alot oftime at the playground when my 2 were small. I know the feeling of exhaustion and feeling like you could cry too. I remember sitting on the floor in the hall crying because they wouldn't get dressed to go out - then them being ready and me sitting at the sand pit with sunglasses on to hide the red eyes.

Linzer, fruit and nut is my favourite too although I never buy it as i have enough trouble with my weight as it is without temptation like that in the house!

I made a plum and apple pie today and the dc turned their noses up at it - no idea why because they like plums. I've had 2 pieces and if dh doesn't eat any I'll have to throw it out. No way I can eat a whole pie myself.

Latest German lesson: dd has to find things like Prädikat, Subjekt Haupt und Nebensätze etcin a long text, I've left her to it as I always get it wrong.

never had oreos!! and dont eat nuts so wouldnt be stealing your supply linzer!!

you need to cyber send me your pie Ad - it sounds delicious!

Bananamad - sadly my sanity pill was chinese takeaway food or a glass of wine! not a big drinker but a glass used to feel like a real treat after a hectic day.
But dont let us put you off - i didnt feel any of this after my 1st dc was born, and even not so much with the second since they were 3 years apart - it was mainly after my surprise of a 3rd and them being so close together that i really struggled. and going back to work 3 days when he was 1 nearly tipped me over the edge. And dh always had quite a commute on top of his long hours so i really was home alone. But so grateful for the amazing friends i had then - they saved my sanity too! but it didnt kill me and def makes me appreciate the relatively easy life now they're all a bit bigger!

dd's got a friend here tonight for a sleepover - she's driving me mad already - she never shuts up!! hope its not going to be a late night!

Sure, there's plenty left canella! Wouldn't it be nice with some freshly made hot custard....although I'm going to start a diet tomorrow, wish me luck! I keep reading the low carb threads on here and think it might be a good start.

My 2 dc have never done sleep overs much. Dd wouldn't mind having her best friend over but every other weekend she's at her dads and the other weekend the mum insists on family time as she works full time. The other friend is Turkish and the family don't go for sleep overs. Ds has never had one either.

I'm trying to find a club or group for dd to join so she can get some other friends, as much as she likes her school friends, they never have time out of school. She wants nothing more than a friend to come over so she can go for an icecream or a look around the shops down the road, or even for a walk. Getting older and although I'm happy for her to be with me all the time I know she'd have more fun with some same age friends. I found an art school in Hannover with classes twice a week and on Saturday mornings too but she refused to even try it.

Your pie sounds delicious admylin - I'd help you eat it if I was a bit nearer!

It's probably a good thing that I can't get hobnobs and fruit & nut here, as it means I have to ration myself. I worked out last time I was back in the UK that I'd need to buy 4 kg of fruit & nut to keep me going until the summer; don't think I managed to bring back quite that much, though!

Canella A glass of wine in the evening is my sanity saver now too; I can't believe I forgot to mention it earlier! The thought of a glass of wine later has kept me going through many a difficult afternoon. I hardly drank any when the DC were babies though and still have virtually no alcohol tolerance after around seven years of either being pregnant or bfing!

Yeah BananaM- there's rough times during which you'll struggle a bit and then you'll find yourself smooth sailing for ages. Honestly I really think its the major changes all at once which have upset the balance in our house. And you know even when I have absolutely awful days with Moo there are moments when she is utterly sweet and cute and will do the funniest things which has me laughing and thinking 'that's why I do all this my lovely child, so you'll grow up to be a happy joyful person'

Mmm, custard (as long as it's not lumpy!).

DS and DD2 quite often stay overnight with friends or have friends here, and DD1 often feels left out. I've asked her best friend's father a couple of times if she'd like to stay over, but he doesn't seem that keen. Having said that, she's just had an invitation to a "pyjama party" from this friend - but from Sunday to Monday, starting at 7 pm, which really isn't ideal. I don't think it's definite though, so I'm hoping they'll change it to a Saturday night. Hope your DD and her friend don't take too long to go to sleep, Canella!

Is everyone's dh hom eyet? Mine isn't...dc in bed and watchen my Krimi on TV, have a bottle of red wine with 3/4 left in but last time I tried it I came out in a rash on my neck and face. Half a glass and I was bright red. Now that would be tragic if I turn out to be alergic to wine.

What time did he get back in the end, admylin? Mine was home early for once - at 6, to help get the DC to bed by 7 for once. When he got home he decided that DD1 needed to practise her Lernwörter, however, and by the time she'd finished that and her piano practice, it was almost 7 already. And then they all wanted another chapter of the Magic Faraway Tree... In the end, we managed to have them in bed and quiet by about 7.20, which wasn't too bad.

Allergic to wine - how would you cope?! I've heard that people allergic to wine are often OK with some wines but not others (organic wines often tend to be better), which is a good excuse for trying out lots of different wines to see which ones you are OK to drink!

How did the sleepover go, Canella? Have just seen on FB that it came to an early end.

yeah linzer it didnt go so well - i went to bed about 10.45 and couldnt hear anything and must have fallen straight asleep but then dd came in and woke me to tell me the friend was crying and saying she couldnt get to sleep and wanted to go home - she'd woken my dd up to tell her this!

I tried to persuade her but she was havign none of it so i just phoned the parents and the dad came for her! they only live in our village - he was here in 5 mins!

but didnt really feel sorry for her which isnt like me - she's slept here before and they're going to the Schullandheim in 2 weeks so she'll have to sleep away from home and she's nearly 10 - old enough to deal with being away from home for 12 hours! think i was just grumpy cause i was knacked and she woke me up! so dd is still asleep - she'll eb exhausted today!

i need to go to get a bike from Aldi for ds1 - think i'll just leave her sleeping!