Frühlingserwachen - spring finally seems to have arrived in Germany and Austria...

[LinzerTorte]

... or at least I hope so.

For everyone in Germany and Austria, and anyone else who would like to chat!

I should really be getting on with some housework too but can't be bothered either - I need to start straight after the school run, otherwise I lose momentum! However, DH has a meeting here in town at 9 am so left for work much later than usual; we've been out for coffee and I've only just got back.

Hi 2and1ontheway and welcome. How do you like living in Germany? Is your DH German?

Canella That sounds complicated with the grades - is it an average? To get into the better Gymnasium here (have heard quite a few negative things about the other one, although the neue Mittelschule would also be an option), DD1 would ideally need to have a 1 in German, maths and Sachunterricht and def. no lower than a 2 in any of them. Her maths is fine but she's scraping a 2 in German, which she really needs if she's going to get into any Gymnasium.

Glad you got the bike - we really need to get a new one for DD2 as she rode it at the weekend for the first time this year and it's much too small for her now. I'm also aiming to get DS to graduate from a Laufrad to a proper bike this year!

silken Hope your DH is better and that you're completely recovered soon.

bananas The Austria/Australia mix-up definitely happened more often when we lived in the USA, although a friend I'd recently got back in touch with on FB asked what took us to Australia - I think people just look at the beginning of the word sometimes!

Was asking DH last night whether he found people more friendly in Berlin or Vienna - he said that echte Wiener have a tradition for being grumpy but that you don't come across that many; on the whole he finds the Viennese more friendly, but then he probably would say that!

bebe Glad to hear your DH is on your side; I hope he's able to get it all sorted out with his family and that don't have to worry about it any more.

Hello Alice - was just about to e-mail you.

Thanks for the welcome Canella - no I'm not German; DH is, though we met in the UK and he moved over to live with me - we were together 7 years in the UK before we moved over here. Life here took a bit of getting used to (being ridiculously rural was half the problem - our move happened very quickly for reasons related to DH's job at the time, and I was child minding and had to sell our UK house so the in-laws found us this one to rent - I was very clear I wanted to live in a small town if we couldn't afford Munich (DH won't consider living in a flat, has to be a house), but we ended up in a tiny remote village without even a shop or a Kindergarten)!

My German still isn't great - was almost nil when we moved here but now I get by fine and chat away to other mums in the village, just feel rather illiterate and get the wrong end of the stick sometimes, and making proper "friends" rather than a circle of acquaintances/ mums of the kids friends is inhibited by my lack of fluency - not to mention the fact most people speak dialect when they are relaxing with friends, but as they automatically try to speak High German to me as I am a foreigner I can'*t even follow a conversation in full-on Bayrish! I have tried to do classes but DS only started Kindergarten in Sept, by which time I was pregnant again, so I am not very good at sticking to them (lazy too! ).

Hope your daughter manages to catch up on her sleep today - my 5 year old asks for sleep overs fairly regularly, but so far I have said no, not until the summer before she starts school at least - I am put off by the fact most of her friends still have night nappies anyway, and I know the odds of tears at 11pm are high with 5 and 6 year olds! My neice stayed with us in DD's room last year and the girls went to bed fine but niece started crying once DD fell asleep - she didn't want to be on her own she said! Maybe that was the issue with your DD's friend? Kindergarten have a residential trip away for the Voirschule children in May and I am very ambivalent about that, although of course not in front of DD!

linzer - yeah its an average score between german, maths and HSU. the cut off for gymnasium is 2.33 which i can understand but then the cut off for the realschule is 2.66 - not much difference. My problem with it is that these decisions are being made when a lot of the children are 9! dd isnt 10 until July and she's not the youngest and this affects their whole future. It was a big reason that we kept ds1 back for school until this sept - wouldnt want his opportunities in life limited just because he's the youngest. I know the Uk system has its faults but it seemed fairer that everyone had a chance to go to University if they did well enough in the end but it seems here that how good you are at school when you're 9 or 10 decides whether you can go to university or not.

2and1ontheway - i'm also in Bayern in a wee village and struggle with the dialect (altho i'm a bit north of you so prob a different dialect). I went to the local Kappenabend the other weekend and was beyond lost with what was going on! Thankfully the mum friends i have in the village are not native villagers (altho they've lived her a while) so i dont notice it so bad day to day. You just need to concentrate on how much better your german is compared to how it was and you'll get there in the end. I realised last night i'd watched a whole programme on the tv and understood all of it - maybe its happened before but i only noticed it! was a great feeling!

Canella I don't agree with pigeonholing children at such a young age either - they've only been at school for three or four years when you make your decision. It's basically a choice between Gymnasium and Hauptschule here, although at least you can switch from the Hauptschule to Gymnasium at the end of the four years (DH went to a Hauptschule as he lived out in the sticks and it was his local school, but still ended up with a PhD).

2and1ontheway If it makes you feel any better, I was studying German at university when I first met my future ILs and could still barely understand a word they said as their dialect was so strong. My SIL could switch to Hochdeutsch so I could speak to her, but my PIL can't speak Hochdeutsch (which DH hadn't realised before we met!). I can now understand about 50% of what they say.

welcome to 2and1ontheway. I think I´d go mad if I had to live somewhere without a shop. Have you got used to the remoteness?

Well ds came down with a sickness bug last night and when I phoned kiga to tell them they said loads of children are off today with the same bug. It´s obviously very contagious, so I´m just waiting for the rest of us to come down with it. I´m just hoping my niece avoids it as she´s meant to be heading back to München tomorrow.

Canella - I´m really surprised there´s so little difference in the grades needed for the different schools. Talk about putting the dc under pressure.
We´re quite lucky because the dc will be going to a Gesamtschule and it is only from the 7.Klasse that they get split into Gymnasium or Realschule strands. I´m sure there is still a lot of pressure, but at least it´s not at such a young age.

Morning all (checks to make sure it is still morning )

Hi and welcome 2and1ontheway - when we first moved over we were stuck in the sticks, no shop, no nothing, dh was at work all day and had the car, I think had it not been for the internet I would have booked the next flight home! After a few months we moved to a small city instead and things are definitely looking up now. How long is the lease on your house? Could you look for somewhere a little less, erm, rural, once you are coming to the end or would that be far too much whilst pregnant and with 2 children already?

Canella, Linzer - the grade system really does sound quite complicated! We have a 5 year old niece here and the whole Karneval weekend seemed to revolve around arguments between BIL&SIL & a couple they are friends with about whether a part-Montessori Grundschule is better than a normal one. It all turned very 'I'm right, you're wrong' at one point. By trying to keep out of it I am now an expert on Bügelperlen though, handy if we have a girl!!

Hope everyone's well.

I don't think I could cope with living out in the sticks - one of the reasons we sold our plot of Baugrund next to my ILs' house (to my SIL, as they didn't want it leaving the family, but we needed the money for a house). Not sure I could cope with living next door to my ILs either tbh!

BananaM I used to think that Hama beads were the work of the devil (after we ended up with them all over the playroom floor on more than one occasion), but the DDs do play very nicely and creatively with them now. I just have to make sure I keep them out of DS's reach!

hupa They've just introduced the Gesamtschule - called neue Mittelschule - here, which is great in principle. The town where we live still has two Gymnasien, however, which means that in many ways the neue Mittelschule is still the Hauptschule in all but name.

Helo 2and1ontheway - we were in the sticks too when the dc were really small, although we did have a bakery and a farmer sold veg and milk from his barn! It was a great place for the dc but I was miserable there and very pleased when we moved into town. Later we move dto Berlin and adapted to life there so I guess atleast my dc have experienced all ways of living.

One thing that I disliked was the fact that we never had friends calling round as we were too far out for a spontaneous visit. Everything had to be planned ages before and I'm still not very good at that, much prefer spontaneous visits (well not too spontaneous, the breakfast table is only half cleared away)!

For Gymnasium, I think it's good here in Niedersachsen even if the primary school doesn't give a Gymnasium Empfehlung you can still send your dc to Gymnasium. I know a few of dh's colleagues sent their dc with Realschule Empfehlung to the Gymnasium anyway and they all managed their Abitur. Since dd started there 3 dc have dropped out and gone down to Realschule so for some dc the pressure can be too much.

linzer - think i'd find it a nightmare living next to my ILs!! would imagine it'd be like "everybody loves raymond" - did anyone watch that? i loved it in the UK but not a fan of it translated into german!
The austrian school system or the one Hupa described where they split them up later seems a better plan than the one in bayern. But doubt its going to change any time soon.

I love living in the sticks - but obviously it only works if you have a car. But feel really blessed that we live in such a lovely village with so many friendly people. But think we're also lucky that we have shops in lots of directions within a 10 min drive. Thats rural enough for me!

bananamad - those hama beads skills will come in very handy in years to come - even my ds's love them!

was out getting a bit of shopping in another town and randomly met the only other English speaker in the village for the first time in the 2 years. He's american and has lived here for 13 years. I knew he lived here but had just never had a chance to speak to him - was weird to speak english to another villager! but nice!

Hupa - hope ds feels better soon! hate that feeling that you might be next.

How did you realise it was him Canella?

I once heard an English man talking to the check out lady at the Turkish shop at our shopping centre recently and was coming back round to say hello when I noticed he was rather drunk. So I just kept quiet!

Welcome 2&1! Boy there's lots of new people lately :)

Forgot pretty much everything I read...silly brain of mine... Hope everyone's ok and the sickness stays away/leaves your families.

Spent the morning at the park with Moo, she managed to climb up on some of the equipment herself today :) I brought some of my writing and sat there writing away in between helping her climb other things, and chasing her around the park and holding her hand as she balanced on the logs around the place. 2 hours we were out!! It was great, so glad the weather is on the up. (I'm well tired now!) Hoping after our lunch she'll take a nap herself.

Have a lovely weekend everyone if I'm not back on before then!
x

Thanks for all the welcomes everyone :) Linzer I think we cross posted before when I only said thanks to Canella.

Admylin I could "manage" a moved pregnant and with the 2 kids if necessary, but it really isn't practical - apart from anything this location is pretty cheap (for Bavaria...) and if we moved somewhere with more facilities we'd have to get a smaller house - a little bit crazy with a 3rd child on the way! My husband changed jobs a year ago and now has a huge commute (1.5 hours all in - 10 min drive to the station, an hour on the S-bahn through Munich and out the other side, and then a 20 min walk or if it's raining bus - but that's no quicker as he has to wait for one). We discussed moving then but to get a similar size house we'd be in a village again, and moving from one village to another, uprooting the kids who have lots of friends here, and starting again being the village idiot curiosity as probably the only foreigner again just makes me feel tired, even if we might manage a slightly bigger village with a shop or two, I don't think enough would be gained!

The village is great for the kids especially in good weather - DD (5) was outside for literally 6 or 7 hours on a Saturday, and DS for about 4 (he had one of his random occassional naps after lunch). We live literally right next to the village playground (the only facility the village does have!) and I let the kids out there on their own as I can watch them from the window and hear them if I leave the window open. This is something I would never be able to do in a town - or anywhere in the UK these days! DD also has 3 friends I let her walk to on her own to call for (can see all their front doors from my gate) and another couple of friends we can walk to together in the village, and DS is great friends with the little boy who lives on the other side of the playground, I often seem to have either have 4 or 5 children here or none (bearing in mind I have 2 of my own atm) as the kids play so much at each other's houses, which I find fantastic.

I am secretly hoping to move once the kids are at secondary school, as I grew up in a small village myself and was happy enough as a small child but bored and resentful by the time I hit 11 or so (didn't help that my parents sent us to schools out of area so we knew none of the very few local children anyway). I think once they have a social life based around school we could move to the town where the Gymnasium and Realschule are - although knowing my luck they will end up at schools in different towns from each other or something!

Linzer when we realised I was expecting number 3 DH had a few weeks of insisting we would have to buy or build a double house with his parents! I smiled and nodded but it would be awful - luckily I knew he is naturally quite lazy and would never actually initiate it unless I motivated him to, and his parents found out the astronomical prices of some 2 family houses and building plots and the idea was gradually allowed to slip away

Bebe I am glad you got a good couple of hours in the park with your daughter - I must say the playground by our house makes pregnancy with preschoolers a lot easier! Hope your little girl is having a nice nap now for you!

That is a huge commute for your dh. How far away are the PIL? Whene we were in the village dh had about 40 minutes at rush hour times but as he was at university at the time, he usually went later and missed the rush.

Every now and then dh brings home an ad for a job he's seen in Munich, infact he's got one at the moment. I'd be worried about house prices - especially as we rent but we're waiting to see if his contract goes through to stay put.

Sounds great for the ds though. I remember ds had a 4 year old friend (he was 3) who would walk down the back street to our house alone to play and always walked her back later as I couldn't bring myself to let her go alone. You get used to it though!

Kids are bathed and in bed! :) DH "helpfully arrived home, ate the dinner I had cooked, and has installed himself in the attic/ study playing computer games ever since

Admylin are you still in Berlin now then? I've never been, what'S that like as a place to live? Are you right in town? DH finds now that he's used to it that he doesn't mind the commute so much - train is more relaxing than traffic jams on the roads at least and he reads or listens to podcasts - as we are right at the end of the line he always gets a seat. Also he chooses to get up at 5.45am and leave the house at 6.15am, in order to work a full day and still get home by 6pm to eat as a family! Kids have always been early risers too so it sort of fits with our life to do it that way, and he prefers to go in very early than come home very late. The PIL are an hour's drive away - they are very good at helping with the kids (far more so than my own parents would be) but I must say I prefer having them at a distance where they can't just casually drop by unannounced - for all she is great with the kids she can also be very critical esp of my housework standards . Before DC2 started Kindergarten she used to come over here at 7am once a week to look after him while I was at work, and whilst this was fantastically helpful and selfless of her (she had to get up at 5am to do it, or sometimes she stayed with us the night before) she also took it as licence to give me solid half hour lectures on housework tips and routines she felt I should have in place around the house - she also used to leave the kids windows (upstairs) wide open (not at an angle but wide open) which scared me a lot with an active 2 year old boy with good climbing abilities in the house! How do grandparents forget so much, given she raised 3 sons herself!? So I can live without the convenient babysitting in return for the privacy of having them further off!

Everyone here lets the kids out on their own after the age of about 4, they are very well drilled in the rules (only allowed in the playground, which I can see from the house, unless they ask me first and tell me specifically where they are going, and I watch them to the door from the gate. They do spend hours in the playground without me though and I look out the window every 5 mins or go out if they go out of sight (usually down to the football field which I can't see from the window). It is funny - Brits probably think I am irresponsible, but DH thinks I am over protective as I check on them so often, especially the 5 year old, and go out to find them if they are out of sight!

Another new one here! Hello everyone!

Hi Psammead and welcome to the thread!

2and1ontheway Yes, children seem to have a lot more freedom here than in the UK. Most walk to school on their own within a few weeks of starting school. Parents tend to leave them on their own at home from quite a young age too; I didn't start leaving mine until they'd started school (and wouldn't leave them for longer than 5-10 minutes) but I know parents who will pop out leaving 2 or 3 year olds on their own.

The DDs slept overnight with a friend last night and DS has had a friend here. They slept really well (were fast asleep just after 7 am), but have been up since 6 am. DH got up with them and gave them breakfast, and I've taken over now - although I think I could probably have stayed in bed a bit longer, as they've been kept entertained by a DVD. They're now playing quite well together, so I think I might go and have a shower.

That's an early start to the weekend Linzer. When will you get your dd's back?

What's planned for the weekend? Dh has just gone to work, he's done some experiments for one of the neurosurgeons who wants to later present the work as his own at his lecture for Privat Dozent. Other people in the lab are joking that dh is working for another Guttenberg and he's just another ghost writer. He hates it - but he has been TOLD to do it by the big boss so he can't say no.

The worst thing is - it's alot of work, calculations take days and then writing up the results, quoting other work, reading hundreds of papers and it's not even for himself.

The DDs are back home now; apparently they didn't get much sleep (DD2 said they went to bed at 9.10 pm) so DD2 will probably be in an awful mood later.

We're doing homework this morning (DD2 has to practise for her Ansage next Friday and DH is getting very frustrated with DD1 from the sound of it - I'm trying to keep DS entertained and out of the way), and then going into Vienna this afternoon - we thought we'd take the DC on the Riesenrad and then for a look around the Prater. Don't you live around that area, bananas? I'll keep a look out for you.

How annoying that your DH has to do all that work but doesn't get any credit for it, admylin. It seems so unfair but it sounds like there's not a lot he can do about it. DH had a bit of an eventful day at work yesterday - he said two of the secretaries were shouting and screaming at each other, and he was expected to mediate (he's one of the Betriebsräte so often has similar problems to deal with, although this sounded far worse than normal).

Sounds nice, I always wanted to visit Vienna. It's a lovely day here, all doors and windows are open letting a bit of fresh air and sunshine in. dd has gone to meet her friend who's little brother is playing a football match in our Stadtteil so her dad brought her too - they're training at the sports field for some athletic certificate they are doing next week in school. Ds is doing homework too.

Later I'm going to have a go at getting the bikes for the dc fixed up for use. They've been in bike room all winter and i know the tyres need air and probably the seats need adjusted. There is a big Krötenwanderung in the forest at the end of our street so we might go wildlife watching. The through-road has even been closed off so as not to endanger the toads!

welcome psammead - you're the mcvities hob nob person arent you? they didnt have them in our edeka - gutted!

Admylin - thats a lot of work for your dh to do then get no credit! doesnt seem fair!

2and1 - do we share the same MIL? its hard to moan when they help with the dc but sometimes she drives me insane!!

we had a fab afternoon out at an extreme race thing (obviously just watching not participating!!) - here's the website.
The weather was just great for it - we didnt even have jackets on - maybe spring has sprung!! dh is already talking about changing my tyres back!

But hopefully the dc will be exhausted tonight - we did a lot of walking along the course!! was winding dh up that he should do it next year!

Yes I am!! Wasn't hob nobs, was chocolate digestives.

Sorry they never had them by you.

Hi 2&1ontheway, welcome. I'm justceast of Munich and been here nearly 3 years (!) time flies by so fast.

I'm in uk right now, heading hone tomorrow, thank goodness, not a moment too soon. If I ever, ever mention going to stay eith my mum again I am asking you all to remind me NEVER,EVER AGAIN. EVER.

Am trying to keep dd quiet in kitchen, hope everyone ok

Wow the DE/AT thread has leapt forward!

Nothing new from here yet. We are in touch with the relocation agency to start sorting the Vienna move but nothing at all has moved yet- unless you count the hours spent completing reams of paperwork and a bit of decluttering.

Talk of biscuits has raised one thought- I have a really good Brit shop near me here in Holland. What stuff can you not get for love nor money in Austria? Here the top 3 things I get there are salt and vinegar crisps, cheddar cheese and bacon. You can get baked beans and marmite in the normal shops but I would miss those too. On the other hand, we love the black styrian kernol as salad dressing so it will be nice to not have to import that and ration it out any more.

DD currently high temp (teething. probably) and not having an easy time to get to sleep. She has had a couple of calpol doses and don't think there is much else we can do for the poor thing.

Hi C4ro, sorry to hear about your DD - hope she's better soon.

There's a British food shop in Vienna called Bobby's - I haven't been there for ages and it's quite expensive IIRC, but it has a fairly good selection of typical British food (although it's not huge).

We normally go to Bratislava for our British fix, where there are two M&S stores (one of my our favourite excursions on rainy Sundays, when all the shops are shut in Austria). They only have M&S branded goods in their food departments though, which is no good for my hobnobs and fruit & nut addictions. You can get salt and vinegar crisps and baked beans there (you can get baked beans in Austrian supermarkets as well), although no cheese - much to DH's disappointment. The M&S cafe in the larger store is good too (you can get jacket potatoes with baked beans there!), but almost always empty so I'm worried about how much longer it will stay open.