Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Life-limiting illness

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

How do you say goodbye?

41 replies

Youvegotafriendinme · 14/05/2018 07:14

My Dmum was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in late October 2017 and we were told 6 months. 6 months is here and today I have to go say goodbye to her. I wish I could sit with her till the end but I have a young son and no help, DH can’t take time off so I’ll have to make do with a few hours before DH goes to work at lunch time.
What do I say? I’m told she can hear me and I don’t want her to hear me cry. I feel so empty inside and can’t understand how life’s fair. She’s leaving 6 grandkids, ones only 8 weeks old. I’m rambling, sorry. I just wondered if anyone has any advice? Thank you

OP posts:

Debunked · 15/05/2018 11:09

I lost my mum to cancer 9 years ago and struggled with this too. I thought what Tessa Jowell's family said was beautiful: you will live on in our souls 😭

Sending love and strength OP

QueenOfIce · 15/05/2018 12:45

I'm so glad she's still with you, I told my mum how proud I was to be her daughter that she was the best Mum I could've ever wished for. Told her that I was who I am today because of her. I also told her that she could go when she was ready that I wished her peace. My mum was unresponsive for 36 hrs before she passed so I didn't get my 'goodbye' from her but I know she heard me. I wouldn't let the doctors talk about her over her and I didn't let her hear me cry.

In the end there is always things you want to say but know you're running out of time. The main thing is that you both know how much you mean to each other and that you're there with her. I wish you so much strength and comfort

Pancakeflipper · 15/05/2018 12:51

Thinking of you and your mum.

glitterbiscuits · 15/05/2018 13:14

I’m so sorry to read this, my mum died of the same thing.

Tell her it’s ok for her to let go, thank her for everything and that you love her forever.

Massive hugs.

Original poster

Youvegotafriendinme · 16/05/2018 14:56

I stayed with her through the night and she passed away this morning and I’m so thankful I was able to be there with her. 56 is no age at all, poor thing but she’s peaceful now. Thank you all for your kind words x

OP posts:

Namethecat · 16/05/2018 15:08

Sorry to hear this, sending hugs to you. Take care.

Vitalogy · 16/05/2018 15:15

Sorry for your loss OP.

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 16/05/2018 15:43

So sorry to hear your news. I am sure you being there with her was a real source of comfort for her. Take care. x

MrsMozart · 16/05/2018 15:45

I am so sorry. May she rest in peace.

Hogtini · 16/05/2018 15:49

So very sorry

OneWouldHopeSo · 16/05/2018 15:58

sorry for your loss.

Ski40 · 16/05/2018 18:31

So sorry! 💜💜

morespaceneeded · 16/05/2018 19:45

RIP. Sorry for your loss. Life is unfair sometimes x

fizzandchips · 17/05/2018 08:56

Sorry for your loss OP.

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 18/05/2018 22:19

Take care, OP

echt · 19/05/2018 07:22

So sorry for your loss, Youvegotafriend I'm glad you could be with her, and this will comfort you in the time to come.

For the bereaved there's no "good" age, but 56...

Flip

1 2