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Original poster

Dads partner to continue to live in his house until her death

49 replies

Purpleheart24 · 29/12/2023 17:35

Our Dad has requested that his unmarried partner of 20 years can continue to live in his house after his death, which is now listed in his will.

The issue we face is that she has her own home but has now decided to sell it as our dad is not well and almost 80years old. We feel this decision has been taken based on legal advice from a solicitor as we could contest the decision if she has her own home to live in.

She will be selling her home and giving her 2 children their inheritance early, but myself and my siblings now have the legal and social challenges of dealing with an unrelated tenant in the home our dad wishes for us to inherit upon her death.

We respect his wishes but we have questions that we don’t know how to ask.

Who will be responsible for the maintenance and upkeep of the house ? Will it be his partner or us as it’s technically our house ?

What if she doesn’t maintain the house and we inherit the property in a bad way ? Do we have any legal standing to make sure the house is maintained ? Can we do yearly checks ?

What if one of us children die before his partner ? Will it automatically be left to our next of kin ?

Im sure we could think of more questions but that’s all we have at the moment and we don’t know who can help us

OP posts:
TheWillowTrees · 29/12/2023 17:44

we could contest the decision if she has her own home to live in.

On what basis could you contest it?

Generally the life tenant has responsibility for maintenance but I've never heard of a right of inspection. Generally if one of you dies before the partner your share will go to whoever inherits your estate but it depends on the precise wording of the will.

To be honest, your father could very easily have decided to leave the house outright to his partner of 20 years. The fact that he is only giving her a life interest protects your position. I realise it is galling given that it enables her to give her children an inheritance early but there's nothing at all unusual or unfair about it.

TheWillowTrees · 29/12/2023 17:44

(Have assumed you are in England.)

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 29/12/2023 17:48

TheWillowTrees · 29/12/2023 17:44

we could contest the decision if she has her own home to live in.

On what basis could you contest it?

Generally the life tenant has responsibility for maintenance but I've never heard of a right of inspection. Generally if one of you dies before the partner your share will go to whoever inherits your estate but it depends on the precise wording of the will.

To be honest, your father could very easily have decided to leave the house outright to his partner of 20 years. The fact that he is only giving her a life interest protects your position. I realise it is galling given that it enables her to give her children an inheritance early but there's nothing at all unusual or unfair about it.

All of this. From her POV, she is probably selling her own house after two decades of insecurity, living in a home to which she was probably contributing (at least to upkeep/maintenance), but over which she had no rights.

Would I be happy in your situation, OP? No. But I can see it from her side too.

PermanentTemporary · 29/12/2023 17:50

Posting to read the replies as I'm about to become a tenant in common with dp, and intend to give him a life interest.

I have been pondering the problem and thought perhaps the answer would be to try to funnel as much cash otherwise towards ds as I can. Though it is probably easier as I just have one dc.

What makes you think you can contest the will? In my experience that's very difficult in the UK and usually both very expensive and futile?

Nospecialcharactersplease · 29/12/2023 17:50

I am in a similar situation as a beneficiary and it sucks. With respect though, you need to change mindset. She will not be your tenant. The legal right to occupy the property will be hers, not yours. You cannot inspect. You should back right off and allow quiet enjoyment until the property is sold, which may be very many years away.

The only option I can see here is that you could suggest that she buy half the property with her proceeds of sale. Then your father would have more of his estate in cash and you could inherit immediately. And it would level the playing field between you/your siblings and her children somewhat.

AdaColeman · 29/12/2023 17:58

It's a minefield of problems to will a property in that way.
Can you point all this out to your Dad, in a calm way, so that he has considered the difficult situation he will be putting his children in?

It's especially problematic as she has her own property she could live in. A much better solution would be to give her some months of grace to move back to her own property.

If he is determined to go ahead with his plan, I hope he includes financial information about who will pay Council Tax, major repairs, any modernisation etc, and also that she cannot co-habit with anyone there.

You should also protect any valuable personal items, furniture, or collections of your Father's that he leaves you. It would be too easy for them to be included in her estate when she passes.

Darkenergy · 29/12/2023 18:00

I'm not a lawyer, this is based on my mum's experience:

A trust will be set up and the trustees will oversee the property, do you know who the nominated trustees are? In an ideal world a separate fund would be administered by the trustees to pay for repairs and upkeep. If that's not possible it's technically not anyone's designated responsibility. She will likely undertake reasonable repairs as it's her sole home, why would she let it go to rack and ruin? If not, unless you offer to pay, you will eventually inherit a home in poor condition and that's just how it is I'm afraid.

My mother inherited a property in similar circumstances and it felt fair to me, it was her home - much more than it is yours frankly - and presumably she has contributed to bills and maintenance over many years (if not, that's on your dad). My understanding is she cannot move out or remarry without the arrangement ending so there are limits on her freedom too.

You are not her landlord so you have absolutely no right to inspect or bother her, forget that.

TheWillowTrees · 29/12/2023 18:10

AdaColeman · 29/12/2023 17:58

It's a minefield of problems to will a property in that way.
Can you point all this out to your Dad, in a calm way, so that he has considered the difficult situation he will be putting his children in?

It's especially problematic as she has her own property she could live in. A much better solution would be to give her some months of grace to move back to her own property.

If he is determined to go ahead with his plan, I hope he includes financial information about who will pay Council Tax, major repairs, any modernisation etc, and also that she cannot co-habit with anyone there.

You should also protect any valuable personal items, furniture, or collections of your Father's that he leaves you. It would be too easy for them to be included in her estate when she passes.

I really disagree with this and if I were the father I’d be inclined to leave the house to my partner absolutely if my kids kicked off like this. She is his partner of 20 years. It is perfectly reasonable that he wants her to have the right to remain in her home.

I doubt a restriction on cohabiting would be legally enforceable.

DPotter · 29/12/2023 18:10

Also you would need to clarify what would happen if your DF needs care which if he has a house and possibly savings, he would be expected to pay for. As they are not married it would be worth clarifying if the local authority could have a claim on the house and how they would handle the such a situation.

TheWillowTrees · 29/12/2023 18:20

DPotter · 29/12/2023 18:10

Also you would need to clarify what would happen if your DF needs care which if he has a house and possibly savings, he would be expected to pay for. As they are not married it would be worth clarifying if the local authority could have a claim on the house and how they would handle the such a situation.

Her life interest won’t arise until he dies.

caringcarer · 29/12/2023 18:24

You have to respect your Dads decision. She is his partner of 20 years not someone he's just met. His partner will pay council tax and general maintenance like internal decor etc. If there is a major structural issue like a roof etc you can pay house insurance to make sure it's covered. She can pay for content insurance for her things. If she is a similar age to your Dad she might only live a few years longer than him. My sisters first Dh died and life insurance paid off the mortgage. She met a new partner 7 years later and married him. He had his own house but moved in with my sister. He is a builder and has done a lot of work on her house. She has made a will to leave her house split between her 3 DC and her DH to have lifetime interest. Her DC are happy with this arrangement. Her DH is happy and his DC will inherit his house between them after he dies. He has left my sister his pension and savings.

compactopera · 29/12/2023 18:33

The terms of the Will will set out what the trustees of the property can and cannot do. You're not going to be her landlord, I don't see how you could do inspections etc.

What if one of us children die before his partner ? Will it automatically be left to our next of kin ?

Also depends how the Will is drafted. The term "next of kin" has no legal meaning or standing.

compactopera · 29/12/2023 18:36

And she won't be your tenant.

Will it be his partner or us as it’s technically our house ?

Nor will it "technically" be your house, it will be held in trust and she will have the right to uninterrupted occupation of the property.

Darkenergy · 29/12/2023 18:52

compactopera · 29/12/2023 18:36

And she won't be your tenant.

Will it be his partner or us as it’s technically our house ?

Nor will it "technically" be your house, it will be held in trust and she will have the right to uninterrupted occupation of the property.

This is an important point, you need to change your mindset. The house is not "technically yours" in any sense.

Original poster
Purpleheart24 · 29/12/2023 18:55

I never said we would contest his wishes but it seems strange she is making sure the house has gone now his health has declined. He son has been renting the property for over 10 years until now.

We can only respect his wishes, but she is not very likeable very rude and has always been jealous of his daughters and our mum. It won’t be a nice arrangement dealing with her once dad has gone

OP posts:
Original poster
Purpleheart24 · 29/12/2023 18:58

No she never contributed just helped pay some of the domestic bills like any person would as dad had paid the mortgage. She was renting her house out to her son so was getting her mortgage paid on her house. She has also made sure she got in my aunties will and ended up with a larger inheritance than my dad… she likes to make sure she is ok if you see what I mean

OP posts:
Original poster
Purpleheart24 · 29/12/2023 19:01

Yea it’s a kick in the teeth especially as her kids will be ok financially and we will have to wait years and could not even see the inheritance. Me and my sisters don’t get on with his partner which makes it all more awkward, she has never been a nice person.

OP posts:
Original poster
Purpleheart24 · 29/12/2023 19:07

That’s another thing to consider absolutely, the possessions that will be in the house. She could strip the house bare by the time we inherit it as once dad is gone I can see her falling out with us all and locking the doors. It’s a nightmare

OP posts:
Onelifeonly · 29/12/2023 19:15

If you don't trust her, all you can do is talk to your dad about the implications and see what he says. Otherwise you have to accept his decision.

In my partner's family there was a recent dispute whereby a married partner had not been left the full inheritance, in favour of another relative. Despite a lot of effort and attempts to change things, the inheritance received by each eventually was pretty much as stated in the will.

compactopera · 29/12/2023 19:16

Well if you go in with this attitude of her being your tenant and wanting to inspect her home, I'm sure you will fall out pretty rapidly.

What has he set out in his will about other assets / residue estate?

Tinyhappypeople · 29/12/2023 19:27

One thing to check out now is the legalities regarding inheritance tax. I have been on the other side of this (my father was the life tennant) and when he died I had to complete a huge amount of paperwork and pay a proportion of inheritance tax (which was minimal as he had very few assets, no property etc). So I advise you look up apportioned inheritance tax with regards to lifetime interest in a property.
I think it will depend on the type of trust, but if she has given away an early inheritance the family may need to hold some of this back (it will be seen as deprivation of assets) in case tax is payable on her death. Otherwise it can cause huge delays in selling the property after she dies.

SheilaFentiman · 29/12/2023 19:35

Possibly her son no longer wants to live in her property and possibly she has done what she would have been advised to do on MN as a cohabiting partner - keep her own asset as her name is not on your father’s house deeds and therefore she would be in trouble if they split up. With the life interest - which I assume your dad has recently decided on rather than say 10 years into their partnership - she has more surety now.

SheilaFentiman · 29/12/2023 19:36

If there are specific things you want, eg sentimental items, can you ask your dad to either give you them now or bequeath them specifically to you.

Eekmystro · 29/12/2023 19:41

What a nightmare. It does feel like your dad has been unfair to you here and prioritised his wife over his own children. I simply don’t Understand people who do that, is it reflective of how he has been as a parent?

In your shoes I’d try talking to him. If she’s selling her own home can’t she purchase 1/2 of his so they joint own their home? Can’t he leave the property to you and your sister but with a provision she can live there until she passes. My grandparents will had something about if their children died, their grandchildren would receive their share. Doesn’t you dad have something like that in his will?

In theory I think people should be able to do what they want with their will. In reality I simply can’t imagine prioritising a partner who owns her own home over my children.

compactopera · 29/12/2023 19:53

Can’t he leave the property to you and your sister but with a provision she can live there until she passes.

That's literally what he's doing, leaving a life interest. Confused