Page 2 | Dads partner to continue to live in his house until her death

Purpleheart24 · 2023-12-29T17:35:33+00:00

Our Dad has requested that his unmarried partner of 20 years can continue to live in his house after his death, which is now listed in his will. The issue we face is that she has her own home but has now decided to sell it as our dad is not well and almost 80years old. We feel this decision has been taken based on legal advice from a solicitor as we could contest the decision if she has her own home to live in. She will be selling her home and giving her 2 children their inheritance early, but myself and my siblings now have the legal and social challenges of dealing with an unrelated tenant in the home our dad wishes for us to inherit upon her death. We respect his wishes but we have questions that we don’t know how to ask. Who will be responsible for the maintenance and upkeep of the house ? Will it be his partner or us as it’s technically our house ? What if she doesn’t maintain the house and we inherit the property in a bad way ? Do we have any legal standing to make sure the house is maintained ? Can we do yearly checks ? What if one of us children die before his partner ? Will it automatically be left to our next of kin ? Im sure we could think of more questions but that’s all we have at the moment and we don’t know who can help us

Chewbecca · 29/12/2023 20:01

I would just ensure his will is properly written by a qualified professional and leave it at that.
You don’t know how long his partner will live for. She might even die before him. He could have left his home fully or partly to his partner, so I would caution to avoid being grabby and entitled. You don’t like her but presumably he does and he has chosen to spend the last 20 yrs with her.

Saschka · 29/12/2023 20:01

This sounds like a nightmare for you, and it is probably best for your mental health to accept that you will never inherit this house. Your children might inherit it when she dies, but that will be decades in the future. Make sure you are not liable for repairs, or she will bleed you dry.

FIL has done similar to us, but with DSis. Who is much younger than us, so DH essentially disinherited. We are still liable for repairs though, which is a double kick in the teeth. I would never do that to DS, and I will do my damnest to make sure DH can’t do it if I die first.

Linnet · 29/12/2023 20:04

Purpleheart24 · 29/12/2023 19:07

That’s another thing to consider absolutely, the possessions that will be in the house. She could strip the house bare by the time we inherit it as once dad is gone I can see her falling out with us all and locking the doors. It’s a nightmare

This is what has happened in our family. My FIL died and his wife has cut everybody else in the family off.
After FIL died his brother reached out to the wife and asked if he could have the family photos of their mother and other family that FIL had but he’s never received them. Having finally seen the Will in the last few weeks it says that all his possessions are to go to his wife, fair enough and that’s usually what you’d put in your Will. But we have no idea if she will pass on any family photos or other family items or if she has binned the lot and because things like family photos were not mentioned specifically in the Will I don’t think there is anything to be done. It’s very upsetting.

Original poster

Purpleheart24 · 29/12/2023 20:05

We don’t know

OP posts:

Saschka · 29/12/2023 20:07

Linnet · 29/12/2023 20:04

This is what has happened in our family. My FIL died and his wife has cut everybody else in the family off.
After FIL died his brother reached out to the wife and asked if he could have the family photos of their mother and other family that FIL had but he’s never received them. Having finally seen the Will in the last few weeks it says that all his possessions are to go to his wife, fair enough and that’s usually what you’d put in your Will. But we have no idea if she will pass on any family photos or other family items or if she has binned the lot and because things like family photos were not mentioned specifically in the Will I don’t think there is anything to be done. It’s very upsetting.

Show quote history

I have also known a second wife gleefully burn photo albums of the first family after her DH’s death (work colleague of DM’s). Sheer spite, she was quite open about it.

If you don’t get on with her, she won’t give you things. Ask your DF if you can have them now.

jannier · 29/12/2023 20:07

Bloody hell she's been his partner for 20 years why all the money grabbing it's his house

Original poster

Purpleheart24 · 29/12/2023 20:10

We’re not money grabbing he wants to leave it to us girls but we are just concerned about the implications this brings. I would have been happier if he sold it and travelled the world and spent it all. I don’t like all this BS

OP posts:

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 29/12/2023 20:10

Have you asked your dad why he is doing this when she has a house? And pointed out that she could strip it bear, get it to a point of disrepair and live decades?

JenniferBooth · 29/12/2023 20:11

"dad is not well and almost 80"

I take it you are doing your share of care should he need it. Because im sure you are not a user who thinks your dads partner of 20 YEARS is good enough for that but nothing else

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 29/12/2023 20:11

jannier · 29/12/2023 20:07

Bloody hell she's been his partner for 20 years why all the money grabbing it's his house

Partner, not wife. And her and her children have benefitted enormously from her living rent free with him.

Missingmyusername · 29/12/2023 20:13

Putting the legal stuff to one side, do you get along?
She could go first? Or if there was no will your dad could end up in a home and the funds depleted…

If she’s able to occupy it until her death, does it then pass to you?

It’s his home, ultimately he could (if he wanted to) sell it and blow it all. I don’t think we should covet our parents belongings. It’s not healthy.

DeeCeeCherry · 29/12/2023 20:15

I can see both sides of this but more so yours OP. She could remarry after your Dad's death. This situation happened to my ex, he and siblings were distraught. They were never allowed to set foot in the home again and the new husband took pleasure in demanding all photos, mementos of their Dad were removed from the house immediately. I don't know what the legal position is regarding the house now. They still live there. But who'd want all that to deal with?

At the time I was surprised she remarried at age 68 but people do, don't they?

Original poster

Purpleheart24 · 29/12/2023 20:48

Exactly 👍🏼👍🏼

OP posts:

unsync · 29/12/2023 21:07

Presumably it's going into Trust. It's a bit of a minefield inheritance wise for her. HMRC consider lifetime interest a taxable asset for IHT.

Nearlythere80 · 29/12/2023 21:12

Too late now but really your dad should have married her to avoid these questions even arising now

Eekmystro · 29/12/2023 21:20

compactopera · 29/12/2023 19:53

Can’t he leave the property to you and your sister but with a provision she can live there until she passes.

That's literally what he's doing, leaving a life interest.

Oh sorry I thought it was in his wife’s name until she passes, but obviously yea that doesn’t make sense unless it was left to them.

Op are you sure it will even be left to you and that it isn’t just left to his partner in his will?

IcyPanda · 12/06/2024 19:45

Hi my dad passed away the end of 2022 he told us when we were talking to him and his wife that she wasn't to sell the house for 2 years. But the day he passed away she basically kicked his children out of the house as soon as the under takers took him out. She went and scattered his ashes with out us so we don't know where he is.
With in 3 Months of him passing she had the house up for sale and it was sold fast she's now bought her own place.
He also told us that his will kicks in after her death she has 2 kids she abandoned when they were young so what we wanted to know was will everything go to her kids now when she dies. And what did our dad mean about his will kicking in when she died.
Thank you in advance

DogInATent · 12/06/2024 19:55

I think your father and his partner need some professional advice.

If she becomes frail and needs care, the authorities may view the disposal of her property and the early inheritance by her children as deprivation of assets. In which case the value of the property will still be considered as part of her wealth when determining her responsibility towards her own care costs. His property will be safe, but her children may end up having to pay for her care.

Harassedevictee · 12/06/2024 20:29

@IcyPanda you need to start your own thread.

IcyPanda · 13/06/2024 01:09

DogInATent
Hi my lovely dad has past already he didn't want the house sold for 2 years and he hasn't been gone for 2 years yet but she sold it anyway the money off his house she bought another house. He's did say things will stay as they were after he went as far as his misses is concerned so she lived comfortably and when she dies his will kicks in. But if she bought a house from the sale of the house they shared will everything go to her kids and not my dad's kids.
thank you in advance

DogInATent · 13/06/2024 07:58

@IcyPanda - you need to start another thread rather than confuse or derail this thread. My reply was to the OP of this thread, not to your post.

Another2Cats · 13/06/2024 08:27

IcyPanda · 13/06/2024 01:09

DogInATent
Hi my lovely dad has past already he didn't want the house sold for 2 years and he hasn't been gone for 2 years yet but she sold it anyway the money off his house she bought another house. He's did say things will stay as they were after he went as far as his misses is concerned so she lived comfortably and when she dies his will kicks in. But if she bought a house from the sale of the house they shared will everything go to her kids and not my dad's kids.
thank you in advance

@IcyPanda As PP said it would be better to start your own thread, but to answer your question:

"And what did our dad mean about his will kicking in when she died."

From what you say, it sounds as though he may have given her a life interest in the property but not given the property to her.

It all depends what the will says.

You will need to read the will to see what it actually says. If you do not have a copy and he passed away at least six months ago (so probate has been obtained) then you can view a copy of his will on the gov.uk website. It costs £1.50 to get a copy of the will:

https://www.gov.uk/search-will-probate

Anybody can do this for any will.

From what you say, it sounds as though he may have given her a life interest in the property but not given the property to her. You will need to read the will to see if this is what has happened.

If your dad did just give her a life interest then the property will have been put in trust for his beneficiaries. The will would have named who the trustees of the trust are, typically it will be same people who are the executors of the will - but not necessarily.

In order to sell a property in a trust then ALL of the trustees must agree to do it. If this did not happen then you need to speak to a solicitor.

Also, if there a trust then the capital value of the trust cannot be spent and cannot be given away to people other than those named in the will. If it is then the money can be recovered from the trustees personally.

But all this applies only if she was given just a "life interest". You really do need to read the will to see exactly what it says.

Search probate records for documents and wills (England and Wales)

Search online for a will, grant of representation or probate document for a death in or after 1858

https://www.gov.uk/search-will-probate

IcyPanda · 13/06/2024 12:18

Thank you so much for your fast response I'll get hold of his will and post it for you to check for me.
Thank you I truly appreciate it.

SheilaFentiman · 13/06/2024 12:46

IcyPanda · 13/06/2024 12:18

Thank you so much for your fast response I'll get hold of his will and post it for you to check for me.
Thank you I truly appreciate it.

I'm not sure PP offered to read the will for you, more told you how to see a copy of it to read yourself.