Mum's ex boyfriend trying to force her to sell the house. Advice needed.

[figtrees]

This is complicated and long. Probably outing too. I'll try and keep it simple but she has been vague with exact amounts as she is understably heartbroken.

Mum moved boyfriend in in 2019. Her house was valued at approx 300k with a mortgage of 250k. Of this she has paid off 160k since she bought the house a long time ago.

Boyfriend has 2 children he has custody of. They also moved in as well as him. My younger brother and sister live at home, they are over 18 one is at uni, lives between uni and home.

To make additional space and bedrooms mums boyfriend started an extension. He is a tradie. It's now almost completed. With cosmetic work to be done painting etc and the bathroom to fit.

3 or 4 months ago mums boyfriend wanted to be put on the mortgage. She didn't tell anybody that she did this, as we would hsve tried to stop her. He paid 40k.

They have broken up and he has obviously now decided to move out. That he will sell the house and extract the profit from his share of the mortgage and recoup costs he spent on the extension (both him and my mum bought supplies for it. He did more labour).

My mum is such a push over. She tries to make everybody happy, tries to hide it even when she's so distraught. She will agree to anything to keep the peace. Her ex boyfriend is now telling her that he will sell the home even though she doesnt want to do that. I wanted to buy out his share and what he has paid in but he wants more than he put in, he won't specify how much. He wants to sell even though I could easily get a mortgage to buy him out.

He's lying to my mum saying things are fine he will finish the extension etc one minute, that he's leaving the next. He's changed the kids schools back to where he used go live and been looking at houses there to rent. He is stringing her along while he gets his ducks in a row. She knows he's leaving but is just trying to keep a quiet life.

She doesn't want to sell but she's so easily pushed around. He's already told her that he can force the sale. She has no savings now she spent it on building supplies for the extension.

I've no idea what to do for her. She's so kind and this is the second man to come in and destroy her life. I don't want her to lose her house. She can't even cry in peace as he's not left yet. She can't talk to me on the phone because he's listening. No idea what to do. Sorry for the rant. I'm very tired writing this. had a long day and I just feel so powerless. Like he's just walked in and taken everything away.

i am so sorry - your poor mum. And it must be so stressful for you to watch.

I am no expert - but your mum need legal advice.

yes he will be entitled to something - but it has to be fair.

a solicitor will make sure your mum isn’t taken advantage off.

I really hope it work out for her.

So sorry. Ask @mnhq to move this to legal.

get copies of the deeds to the house online, it will tell you who the mortgage company is with. You need first rate legal advice. My friend had a similar situation, boyfriend moved in, he paid for an two storey extension, which added value to the house. When they split up, she had to get legal advice to sort it out.

The first step would be to get your mum an appointment with a solicitor lay out the whole situation and get proper legal advice, can you go with her for moral support?

So almost immediately after she has put him on the mortgage he has ended the relationship? That would make me think he plans to take as much as he can from her. Is he now a joint tenant or tenant in common?
I have personal knowledge of someone who made a similar (and very costly) mistake. It is a dreadful situation for your mum and she really does need legal advice as soon as possible.

She needs legal advice pronto. This is not my area of law, but as the relationship only started if 2019, I don't think he'd be entitled to more than he put in. He certainly can't force a sale without a court order.

You're mum needs to find some strength as she's letting herself be walked over. Do you live close to her?

I would tell your Mum to get a solicitor asap. Then when her ex starts on about the house she can just continuously answer him with nothing more than ' my solicitor will be dealing with it'. Maybe him knowing she is dealing with it legally will make him back off a bit, he's just bullying your Mum and trying to get as much as he can.

Definitely seek some legal advice. Could he be bluffing as forcing a sale of a house through courts is an expensive process. A simple check of the land registry for £3 will tell you if he is joint owner or tenants in common. If Tennant in common is there a deed of trust which outlines his share in event of split?

You've had good advice upthread about the legal aspect, but you really need to deal with your mum as well. You say this is the second man to walk into her life and destroy everything? Why does this keep happening to her? Is there trauma in her past? Has she had any therapy?

There's no point in sorting out all this mess and saving her skin if she's going to do the same thing again in a few more years.

His name on the mortgage isn’t the issue, it is his name on the house deeds that is and what you need to find out is how he is on the deeds, i.e. does it reflect his share of the ownership. Mortgage and deeds are not the same thing.

When you have found out how his ownership is reflected on the deeds, then he will need to be bought out accordingly. If he has made capital improvements to the house, then yes this would need to be factored in, although I would certainly not include his own labour in that.

Your mother needs to tell him to shut up and stop being stupid when he says he is going to sell the house. Unless she signed it over to him completely, he obviously cannot do that unilaterally. Although if he is not bought out, he could certainly go to court and force a sale, assuming he is on the deeds.

As other people have said

Check to see if his name is on the house deeds

If its not he can not make a claim and can not force her to sell

He might not be able to legally force a sale (without going through court) but he could do other things to put pressure on OP’s Mum.

For instance, he may choose not to move / drag his feet on it so she’s left feeling uncomfortable in her own house. It doesn’t sound like she’s so great at resisting pressure.

legal advice, per PPs comments is a must and I would also be asking how (or if) I could get him removed from the property before the sale process starts.

Thank you all for the replies.

I looked up the title deed and it only has my mums name on it. So he has only just been added to the mortgage I think.

I am going to see her later and hopefully I can talk her in to putting up more of a fight, she seems so down that right now I think she would sign pretty much anything if she thought it would make the situation go away.

I will try to get her to see a solicitor but the problem is she is quiet sensitive and obviously she is so upset she just wants whatever is easiest, even if its not really in her interests, if that makes sense. I don't know that she could face court of he wanted to drag it out. My mum did approach me and ask if i could afford to buy him out. I can borrow enough to pay back the 40k he put on the mortgage, and the money spent on building supplies (he says 30k but I think it was maybe less as my mum was buying these as well and a lot was on her card) but I don't know what profit he expects to make and he won't say what he will settle for as he's so bent on selling the house.

The reason I mentioned this happening twice, is that my dad had an affair and she almost lost the house then too. This was some 20 years ago now but she was devastated then and I remember how depressed she became. It was awful. I don't want to see her like that again.

Does anybody know what I should expect to pay a solicitor? Do I need one that specialises in property law or anything specific? Can my mum ask him to move out as he's not on the deeds?

Whiles he's still in the house he's applying pressure to her to do what is best for him. And I know my mum will give in eventually she's so easily down trodden.

IANAL but I understood it that if you’re not on the deeds, and don’t have protected rights via a rental agreement (and assuming you’re not squatting!) then you can be turfed out.

If this is true, she’d be best to have the locks changed when he’s at work, then make arrangements for him to pick his and his kids’ belongings up (ideally with several of her male relatives there to make sure it doesn’t kick off). If she’s waiting for this guy to just quietly walk away then it sounds like she’s wishful thinking, and she should find out where she stands in “evicting” him (or could you do that for her?).

I think he’s morally (not sure about legally - could she argue it was a gift to her?!) due his £40k back and any material costs he has actually incurred. But to be going after more than that is arsehole behaviour. She should call his bluff on that - doubt he’d want the cost of a court battle any more than she would.

there might also be an argument that he should be compensated for part of his labour. It sounds like a large extension - I am sure it took months of his time and he had to turn down other work to complete it.

see what a solicitor says - and make sure your mum keeps any receipts to prove what materials she bought. He will have receipts for tax purposes.

He might not be on the deeds yet because there is a massive backlog at the land registry.

She needs to come clean about whether she signed over an interest in the property to him, and whether they hold as joint tenants or tenants in common.

Legal advice, fast. I think you need a solicitor that deals with property disputes.

Go with her if she will let you.

I had a recent dealing with the land registry and it took no time at all to sort., no sign of a massive backlog.

But OP, I am puzzled. The mortgage and deeds are of course two different things, but I am surprised that he went to the trouble of adding himself onto a mortgage, a bank loan, but not the asset. Your mother needs to tell you what has actually happened here, she must have signed something and have paperwork.

I have an update.

He is not on the deeds or the mortgage!

The bank wouldn't allow it as they said it was suspicious. They did however let them pay 50k off in a lump sum from his account.

I found all the paperwork for building supplies and it is 30k split between both of them, including paying various electricans and the like. She has kept records for everything down to the screws, bless her.

I have spoken to her the idea was floated that maybe she remortgage and put me on the new mortgage to help her situation as on her own she would be too old and not earning enough.

She keeps saying silly things like 'Well maybe I will just let it play out' and 'No I want to be fair to him.' Because he's insistent it would be unfair for her to not let him finish the extension and then let him sell for profit. He want go flip my mums house for moment basically.

He has told her they are still together he's just moving away and they will still go on dates. But I know he is lying. It's like watching a car crash in slow motion as she let's him manipulate her. She's letting him stay 'as long as he needs' which will be until he's sure she's selling suppose.

I am going to see her on Saturday again. She can't talk on the phone as he's in the house and she asked me to be careful what messages I send incase he sees them. I'm not sure if she's afraid of him or just doesn't want to rock the boat. Either way I wish she would do something.

She freezes when she's upset or stressed and just goes into herself, just sort of stands still while it happens around her. I wish I could do more on that front.

I have offered to pay a solicitor for her. She has no money it's all spent pm the extension.

That is good news, she has a stronger hand than him. But he has made significant contribution to the house and his next step would be to declare a beneficial interest in the house - maybe check whether he has done this or not already. He was very daft if he has not!

A beneficial interest gives him rights to the property such as the right to occupy it and also the right to any income from it, such as if it were rented out or eventual sale proceeds. I don’t believe it could result in him forcing a sale though.

I would certainly tell her to refuse to let him do any more work on the house there is no point strengthening any beneficial interest claim. And I think she now needs to work on repaying his contribution so that remaining ties can be severed,

She won’t need to sell. Lucky he’s not on the deeds or the mortgage, but she will need legal advice.
He clearly knew what he was doing as a builder. I’d just give him back his money and tell him to fuck off and crawl back under the stone from which he came from.
Also, advise your mother to stop shacking up with blokes randomly, she clearly didn’t learn the first time. She needs to protect her property.

OP, is getting power of attorney over your mums finances a possibility? I’m not in the UK but a friend did similar here as her mum was in a financially abusive relationship and knew she didn’t have the strength to deal with it herself. Might be worth talking to a solicitor about

He sounds very controlling. If I were you I would let him know that you understand exactly what's going on. You mum probably feels very isolated.

he sounds controlling and this sound like a domestic abuse situation on top of everything else.

If your mum is comfortable, get a power of attorney and you sort it out.

He's a cheeky bastard. Moving himself and his kids into your mum's house, demanding to go on the mortgage, now threatening her.

Your mum needs good legal advice. Good luck to her.