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cannot afford solicitor to fight ex who is claiming beneficial interest in my house

84 replies

Olly2002 · 18/01/2019 09:02

HI. I was hoping for some advice regarding defending claims that my ex has a beneficial interest in my home. It is quite complicated but I will try to explain. I met my ex 8 years ago when he did some work for me in my house (he is my friends uncle). All the work he did was paid for and included some work to the kitchen and bathroom. The jobs were paid for in cash with no receipts given and no written agreement.
He was and still is married however after some time (2012) we began a relationship which was on and off for years. The main reason that it was on and off was due to financial reasons.
I moved in to a rental property, rented by myself, and my property was getting sold. He stayed with me there on and off but never offered to pay a penny towards bills, rent etc and the relationship was very new and he was still (he told me) paying for bills in the marital home (council tax as he did not want to loose his property rights over the marital home). If i asked him for money he would leave and go to family members for a few weeks and then return and give me a sob story about how he would change
As time went on I became more frustrated as I could see he was very mean with money. He would allow me to pay for everything despite me being on a low wage and bringing up my young son. He used to always complain that people hadn't paid him as he was self employed and that he was still paying for things in his marital home. He also had a rental property which was earning £500 per month. He would constantly change his story around money and lie. He would give me a little bit of money, very reluctantly on occasions however this did not last long as we continued to argue over his attitude and meanness. It was complicated by that fact that he stated he had nowhere to live when he left and would end up staying with family members and I would feel guilty about this.
Anyway in 2013 when we had split up I bought another house using the proceeds from my former home which had been mortgage free and a mortgage. We were still seeing each other and he seemed to have an emotional control over me. Yes i know I was stupid but I felt like I loved him and he could manipulate me as he was very charming and persuasive. He would admit that he had issues with money and in an attempt to rekindle our relationship he encouraged me do some works on the property which included putting in a new kitchen and some bathroom work. All materials were paid for by myself. I knew that he had a lot of money as he was constantly working and had very little outgoings. I agreed to do the work and we both did it together. I saw this as his way of contributing to our relationship since he would not commit or get divorced. He stayed with me a lot during the time I owned the house although would go and stay with other people so that he did not have to pay anything towards the household bills. All his post went to his marital home and he did nothing about getting divorced or getting any assets out of his marriage in order to be able to support himself or bring to our relationship.
In 2015 my uncle died and left me approx 70k and at this point my ex encouraged me to move to a better area and invest the money in a larger, more suitable (for him) house. He said that he would help renovate a property as thats what he enjoys and that we could both live there. I agreed to do that I saw that as his way of contributing whilst i continued to pay all the household bills including food. The previous property was sold and did not make any profit due to money that had been spent on it
He was always reluctant to talk about money or sort out any financial affairs and this resulted in me believing that he was helping to do it up instead of paying towards the running costs. We both worked hard on the house and he stayed with me most of the time. The house was suitable for him as had a large garage for his tools and and driveway for his van.
Whilst doing up the house he continued to work so his income was not affected and I also paid people directly to do some of the works that he was not qualified ( he claims to be a painter and decorator on his tax returns) to do eg full electrical rewire, plumbing, digging out and replacing driveway. Those jobs were paid for in cash and therefore I don't have receipts however I can prove via bank statements that this
money was taken out of my account at the time.
The house took approx 6 months to do up and there was, perhaps, a little profit in it at the time. Bought for 132k, spent approx 50k on it and it was valued at 200k. I did not feel he was owed anything as I had been paying the mortgage and all the bills and he had been saving his income. I believe he had around 50k in savings at that time and numerous people who owed him money, or so he claimed.
I did not sell the house but he was continually encouraging me to look for property to do up again however I did not believe any were worth doing and felt that he and I would be better off working to earn money. I continued to feel annoyed about his money habits and the fact that he would not get divorced. I carried on paying the bills for another couple of years without any support from him. I was very frugal and did not run a car and did not really go out as when we did he would always be negative about it.
We did look at other houses and he told me that he would put his money into doing up another house. He said that it was best bought in my name so as to avoid the 3 percent stamp duty and also because if he formally left the marital home he would be liable for capital gains tax on any increase in the homes value. He also did work to that home whilst we were together as it was still his property.
Sorry this is really long.
He seemed to be becoming more controlling and i felt isolated and alone as we never did anything and a lot of our relationships with family members had broken down due to our unstable relationship. I think he liked it that way as he just wanted me at home looking after him and going along with his plans. All he seemed to care about was property and money. He even admitted on an email that he thinks he has a money disorder. Last year he did a lot of work on my aunties house for which she paid him 23k in cash. When i bring it up he says she is lying however I know she was paying him £130 a day for 9 months.
Fast forward. WE had arguments towards the end of 2018 and he choose to leave so I told him he wouldn't be coming back and took his key. I decided to sell that house and downsize as I did not need the driveway and garage and wanted to be mortgage free as on a low wage. I wanted to be free to live and have fun before I got too old (im now 45).
He started asking me for a financial settlement in regards to the works he had carried out however i refused to offer anything as I didn't believe he should get anything after he had been saving for years whilst I had been paying every bill.
My house was in the process of getting sold and he got wind of it and went to a solicitor and during the final stages of the house sale, was due to exchange contracts last week, his solicitor has put in a an application to the land registry claiming he has a beneficial interest in my property due to major building works he has carried out in various properties. He agreed for me to sell the house however all the proceeds would be held by my solicitor until a resolution was agreed. I could not do this as it would have made me homeless. I had seen a flat and had an offer accepted and was planning on moving into my mums for a short while whilst she was away in Australia. After that I was planning on living in the fact with no mortgage. I have had to pull out of the sale. I tried to be reasonable and offered to keep 40k back which would allow me to buy the flat and also have money to satisfy any claim he may have. I thought 40k was well too much however I could have still achieved my goal of being mortgage free. I even offered him 10k as a good will gesture. He lead me to believe that he was happy for 40k to be held back but after a week of trying to get communication from his solicitor, whilst waiting to exchange contracts on my house, I finally received an email sating that they wanted the whole balance held back (approx 160K). For this reason I cannot sell my home and I cannot afford to get into a legal battle with him over this.
His solicitors are saying we agreed to do this as business venture which I don't agree with. I am considering how to deal with this going forward. I feel that self representation may be best however am not legally trained so may make a mistake. His solicitor is asking me for receipts for building materials and also my mortgage redemption statement. My mortgage redemption statement does not show the true picture as I have made a lot of overpayments using credit cards as they were cheaper (0 percent for 3 years) and also some inheritance was used to overpay. A lot of the work was paid for cash so i don't have receipts (electrician etc). I do have a lot of bank/credit card statements which show a vast quantity of money being spent at that time at various building stores so I assume that will help.
Any advice on how to deal with this matter would be thankfully received

OP posts:
Olly2002 · 19/01/2019 10:04

I will try and move to legal board

OP posts:
Wordthe · 19/01/2019 10:34

if you are married than the house is joint asset, everything you own is jointly owned because the marriage is a legal partnership

GloomyMonday · 19/01/2019 10:45

"No name isn't on mortgage but because we are married he has a right to it."

That's entirely normal though. A marriage is a legal contract, similar to a business contract, and all assets are considered joint assets. I think this is right tbh, otherwise SAHM who hadn't financially contributed to a mortgage would be homeless on divorce.

OP, your situation is entirely different. Thank you for answering my question. I can't imagine that he has a leg to stand on, or that he will want to pursue it once his financial arrangements come under scrutiny. Worrying and unnecessarily expensive for you in the meantime though. I hope you get good advice on the legal board, good luck.

RandomMess · 19/01/2019 11:08

I really hope you get this sorted Thanks

SophieLMumsnet · 19/01/2019 13:12

Hi OP,

We're going to move this over to Legal Matters for you now Flowers

Sohumdrum · 19/01/2019 20:02

I would really really feel inclined to report his safe full of cash to the police as proceeds of crime. Let him try to explain where it came from....

TheWitchwithNoName · 24/01/2019 20:18

Bump, hope you can get this sorted OP

Lillysun · 23/12/2019 00:24

I’m going through a claim on my home now, in brief
We were together 9 years he left almost 3 years ago
He has 2 rental properties never paid mortgage or any bills in my home. I own my home in my sole name however the purchase went through while we were living together
Firstly do not respond to his Solicitors, they are trying it on. Only respond when he is taking it up a gear on to court
Counter act the land registry claim by sending in a letter along with relevant evidence and the correct form. Land registry can only place a charge on a matrimonial home or by a court order. Request a copy of the form his solicitor has sent in also as my ex’s solicitor lied to land registry and said we were married !!
I didn’t get a solicitor until I got a claim from county court, there was no point
I’m guessing your ex has the same narcissistic traits as mine, they think they are still dealing with the woman who gave into their every demand by conversing with his solicitor your allowing them to receive evidence and build a case
It’s up to him to prove his beneficial interest, you defend whatever he shows
Good luck

MrsFrostyTheSnowman · 28/12/2019 12:59

Just read this with interest and it's a blinking zombie thread

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