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cannot afford solicitor to fight ex who is claiming beneficial interest in my house

84 replies

Olly2002 · 18/01/2019 09:02

HI. I was hoping for some advice regarding defending claims that my ex has a beneficial interest in my home. It is quite complicated but I will try to explain. I met my ex 8 years ago when he did some work for me in my house (he is my friends uncle). All the work he did was paid for and included some work to the kitchen and bathroom. The jobs were paid for in cash with no receipts given and no written agreement.
He was and still is married however after some time (2012) we began a relationship which was on and off for years. The main reason that it was on and off was due to financial reasons.
I moved in to a rental property, rented by myself, and my property was getting sold. He stayed with me there on and off but never offered to pay a penny towards bills, rent etc and the relationship was very new and he was still (he told me) paying for bills in the marital home (council tax as he did not want to loose his property rights over the marital home). If i asked him for money he would leave and go to family members for a few weeks and then return and give me a sob story about how he would change
As time went on I became more frustrated as I could see he was very mean with money. He would allow me to pay for everything despite me being on a low wage and bringing up my young son. He used to always complain that people hadn't paid him as he was self employed and that he was still paying for things in his marital home. He also had a rental property which was earning £500 per month. He would constantly change his story around money and lie. He would give me a little bit of money, very reluctantly on occasions however this did not last long as we continued to argue over his attitude and meanness. It was complicated by that fact that he stated he had nowhere to live when he left and would end up staying with family members and I would feel guilty about this.
Anyway in 2013 when we had split up I bought another house using the proceeds from my former home which had been mortgage free and a mortgage. We were still seeing each other and he seemed to have an emotional control over me. Yes i know I was stupid but I felt like I loved him and he could manipulate me as he was very charming and persuasive. He would admit that he had issues with money and in an attempt to rekindle our relationship he encouraged me do some works on the property which included putting in a new kitchen and some bathroom work. All materials were paid for by myself. I knew that he had a lot of money as he was constantly working and had very little outgoings. I agreed to do the work and we both did it together. I saw this as his way of contributing to our relationship since he would not commit or get divorced. He stayed with me a lot during the time I owned the house although would go and stay with other people so that he did not have to pay anything towards the household bills. All his post went to his marital home and he did nothing about getting divorced or getting any assets out of his marriage in order to be able to support himself or bring to our relationship.
In 2015 my uncle died and left me approx 70k and at this point my ex encouraged me to move to a better area and invest the money in a larger, more suitable (for him) house. He said that he would help renovate a property as thats what he enjoys and that we could both live there. I agreed to do that I saw that as his way of contributing whilst i continued to pay all the household bills including food. The previous property was sold and did not make any profit due to money that had been spent on it
He was always reluctant to talk about money or sort out any financial affairs and this resulted in me believing that he was helping to do it up instead of paying towards the running costs. We both worked hard on the house and he stayed with me most of the time. The house was suitable for him as had a large garage for his tools and and driveway for his van.
Whilst doing up the house he continued to work so his income was not affected and I also paid people directly to do some of the works that he was not qualified ( he claims to be a painter and decorator on his tax returns) to do eg full electrical rewire, plumbing, digging out and replacing driveway. Those jobs were paid for in cash and therefore I don't have receipts however I can prove via bank statements that this
money was taken out of my account at the time.
The house took approx 6 months to do up and there was, perhaps, a little profit in it at the time. Bought for 132k, spent approx 50k on it and it was valued at 200k. I did not feel he was owed anything as I had been paying the mortgage and all the bills and he had been saving his income. I believe he had around 50k in savings at that time and numerous people who owed him money, or so he claimed.
I did not sell the house but he was continually encouraging me to look for property to do up again however I did not believe any were worth doing and felt that he and I would be better off working to earn money. I continued to feel annoyed about his money habits and the fact that he would not get divorced. I carried on paying the bills for another couple of years without any support from him. I was very frugal and did not run a car and did not really go out as when we did he would always be negative about it.
We did look at other houses and he told me that he would put his money into doing up another house. He said that it was best bought in my name so as to avoid the 3 percent stamp duty and also because if he formally left the marital home he would be liable for capital gains tax on any increase in the homes value. He also did work to that home whilst we were together as it was still his property.
Sorry this is really long.
He seemed to be becoming more controlling and i felt isolated and alone as we never did anything and a lot of our relationships with family members had broken down due to our unstable relationship. I think he liked it that way as he just wanted me at home looking after him and going along with his plans. All he seemed to care about was property and money. He even admitted on an email that he thinks he has a money disorder. Last year he did a lot of work on my aunties house for which she paid him 23k in cash. When i bring it up he says she is lying however I know she was paying him £130 a day for 9 months.
Fast forward. WE had arguments towards the end of 2018 and he choose to leave so I told him he wouldn't be coming back and took his key. I decided to sell that house and downsize as I did not need the driveway and garage and wanted to be mortgage free as on a low wage. I wanted to be free to live and have fun before I got too old (im now 45).
He started asking me for a financial settlement in regards to the works he had carried out however i refused to offer anything as I didn't believe he should get anything after he had been saving for years whilst I had been paying every bill.
My house was in the process of getting sold and he got wind of it and went to a solicitor and during the final stages of the house sale, was due to exchange contracts last week, his solicitor has put in a an application to the land registry claiming he has a beneficial interest in my property due to major building works he has carried out in various properties. He agreed for me to sell the house however all the proceeds would be held by my solicitor until a resolution was agreed. I could not do this as it would have made me homeless. I had seen a flat and had an offer accepted and was planning on moving into my mums for a short while whilst she was away in Australia. After that I was planning on living in the fact with no mortgage. I have had to pull out of the sale. I tried to be reasonable and offered to keep 40k back which would allow me to buy the flat and also have money to satisfy any claim he may have. I thought 40k was well too much however I could have still achieved my goal of being mortgage free. I even offered him 10k as a good will gesture. He lead me to believe that he was happy for 40k to be held back but after a week of trying to get communication from his solicitor, whilst waiting to exchange contracts on my house, I finally received an email sating that they wanted the whole balance held back (approx 160K). For this reason I cannot sell my home and I cannot afford to get into a legal battle with him over this.
His solicitors are saying we agreed to do this as business venture which I don't agree with. I am considering how to deal with this going forward. I feel that self representation may be best however am not legally trained so may make a mistake. His solicitor is asking me for receipts for building materials and also my mortgage redemption statement. My mortgage redemption statement does not show the true picture as I have made a lot of overpayments using credit cards as they were cheaper (0 percent for 3 years) and also some inheritance was used to overpay. A lot of the work was paid for cash so i don't have receipts (electrician etc). I do have a lot of bank/credit card statements which show a vast quantity of money being spent at that time at various building stores so I assume that will help.
Any advice on how to deal with this matter would be thankfully received

OP posts:
Lexilooo · 18/01/2019 11:11

Ask your solicitor about a conditional fee agreement and legal expenses insurance. Also ask them about paying them from the proceeds of sale of the house once you can sell unencumbered. You may need a different solicitor if currently you are dealing with a conveyancing solicitor but they should be able to come up with a funding arrangement to help you.

I wouldn't self represent, a solicitor could save you tens of thousands of pounds here it will be worth paying them even if you need to get a loan/credit card/small mortgage on your new property

whattimeisitnow · 18/01/2019 11:38

If the solicitor you have used has stated that you owe him nothing this is probably true.

Do not offer him anything.

Olly2002 · 18/01/2019 11:56

Thanks. I do not think he has a case at all. I am gathering evidence and have already found evidence of spending approx 180k. The house was valued at 200k once done up but that doesn't take into account the cash that was paid to the electrician and the driveway cost about 7k as was dug out and re tarmac. I have included the bills, mortgage payments and have evidence of paying for holidays that we both went on.

I will speak to my solicitor today and say that im not willing to waste anymore money and will not negotiate.

I did, a while back, before thinking properly, send him a text saying I would offer him some money however after looking into it properly I have realised that he is not owed anything. I was very upset at the time and I think this proves how gullible I can be so I could explain that away if needed and really it should all come down to facts and figures

He has also changed his story as he sent me an email saying he did the work as he expected us to share the home together however on his recent communication from the solicitor he states that we agreed it was business venture which we did not at all

I would be extremely surprised is his solicitor encouraged him to continue however I suppose they will make lots of money out of it.

Should I give them the information they request?

Can my solicitor ask his for information such as how much savings he has and the equity in his property and his business accounts?

OP posts:
Olly2002 · 18/01/2019 11:59

I have been to a family solicitor who is now dealing with the case. I cannot sell the house at the present moment due to the restriction application at the land registry. I will object to the application and hopefully it will be taken off. I can't see them allowing it without a shred of evidence

OP posts:
smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 18/01/2019 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Honeyroar · 18/01/2019 12:08

I think he won’t have a leg to stand on- don’t offer him anything. Let him waste his time and money. He’s opening a can of worms for himself with all this undeclared work and no proof of any agreements that his work was done for a “share” so to speak of your house.

Try and speak your buyer and say it’s just an ex trying to cause trouble and you hope that it will be removed shortly.

Good luck. You already sound angrier and stronger than you did at the start of the thread- use that to fight him.

Olly2002 · 18/01/2019 12:09

thanks i will look into that

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 18/01/2019 12:11

Honestly, I'd call his bluff. Say see you in court and provide nothing. He's got no case. Just because a solicitor asks for it, doesn't mean you have to provide it, it's no different to him asking. Tell them both to fuck off, but in politer terms. If he chooses court then you need to provide when the court asks, but not s moment before.

Bluntness100 · 18/01/2019 12:14

Can my solicitor ask his for information such as how much savings he has and the equity in his property and his business accounts?

Don't do this and don't engage, you don't need to play this game. You can ignore the solicitors requests and should do. Don't be fooled into thinking Becayse a solicitor is asking because he is telling them to there is some legal standing, there isn't. Unless he sues you, then you have no need to respond. He's just trying to scare money out you.

Olly2002 · 18/01/2019 12:15

My buyer cannot go ahead as her mortgage offer ran out this week and this will take a while to resolve. The poor girl is heavily pregnant and was expecting to buy this week, He literally just did it and put a stop to me selling
I was told by the solicitor that I could sell but all proceeds would have to be kept back (160k) until agreement was reached. I offered to keep back 40k until resolved. He led me to believe he was in agreement with this and I told my buyer so and expected to be able to sort it out however after a whole week waiting for solicitor email it stated that he wanted whole proceeds kept back. He expected me to live with my elderly mother in a small house with my teenage son and dog.

I had no choice but to pull out of sale. I have read these things can take years to resolve.

I think the person who posted to say a harsh letter to his solicitor stating I will not offer anything and take me to court and that I have all the necessary evidence would be the best idea

Thanks for all the good advice

OP posts:
Wordthe · 18/01/2019 12:17

I think this fucker is probably bluffing

friendlyflicka · 18/01/2019 12:20

Very different situation but my ex sounded fairly similar. I let myself become frightened and bullied by him, when I should have held my nerve. I would send a short message either personally or through solicitor saying that you have much evidence to disprove his claim, you are prepared to fight, not settle as you owe him nothing and then mention HMRC....and don't be bullied

Bluntness100 · 18/01/2019 12:22

You just need to deal with the restriction application. That's all. Everything else ignore.

Wordthe · 18/01/2019 12:25

If the house was a business venture then presumably there is some tax to be paid on the proceeds reminding him of that might put him off?

Olly2002 · 18/01/2019 12:26

Thanks. Yes its definitely time to disengage from him. Let him take me to court. He is a fool and has nothing to back his story but need to object before 4th Feb to his application to put restriction on my property. Hopefully that will be the end of it as they will see he is just making up stories

OP posts:
Wordthe · 18/01/2019 12:26

It's definitely an intimidation tactic but he sounds like someone who might have good reason to feel intimidated by the mention of HMRC .....

Olly2002 · 18/01/2019 12:31

Yes need to deal with the restriction then hopefully he will realise he has no case

OP posts:
Olly2002 · 18/01/2019 12:34

Yes and loads of his own family members have fallen out with him over money issues and jobs that he has done. Maybe they would speak up to HMRC. My best friend is his niece and she hates him. He worked for her doing her kitchen but would never tell her what she owed him properly. She then said years later he made up stories about things he paid for (eg front door) which he never. He likes to keep his money with family members and call it in when he wants it. I always thought this was a very stupid strategy as may not get it back and people don't know when he will want it. He also got loads of cash just devaluing cos of inflation
He could have just paid tax and then invested it wisely. He is a very strange person and very untrustworthy

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 18/01/2019 12:43

Exactły, just disengage. You can ignore and should ignore every single solicitors letter he sends. It really is no different to him writing them. Just deal with the restriction, let him spend as much as he wants on getting a solicitor to write letters. They will give you dates to respond to, documents to give, warnings etc, ignore and bin. Until he takes you to court there is absolutely no legal standing in any of it. None at all, it's all just bullshit.

Just deal with the restriction, get it lifted and focus there. Everything else shove in thr bin. And laugh at the money he's wasting.

Wordthe · 18/01/2019 12:45

he focuses on family members because they're more likely to have a sense of duty and obligation towards him which makes them easier to manipulate

Olly2002 · 18/01/2019 13:03

yes you are right. his family, despite knowing what he is like, would feel very bad about talking out against him or not paying him back.

He told me he left a load of money at another nieces house and that it disappeared. That he paid for all her windows etc and a garage conversion and that she was supposed to leave the money for him, with his other money, which he had stashed in her house in a sealed tin. He said she can't have added the money as the tin was still sealed. She told him where to go and he has not done anything about it because its probably all lies.

He was trying to hide money from his wife so when he got divorced there would be no evidence of it.

He let things slip to me over the years when he got mad and wants to talk about it. I got sick of his ways with money and wouldn't talk to him in the end about money as his problems were all his own doing.

He is pathetic and he can spend as much as he wants battling me and I will ignore him unless he takes me to court

OP posts:
Wordthe · 18/01/2019 13:12

he's just like a walking red flag with lots of little red flag sticking out all over him and he's being followed by a procession of red flags

Olly2002 · 18/01/2019 13:19

That is true. Very manipulative and shady as well so will deny what he has said and make up excuses for his behaviour and twist things so you feel that you are the bad one. He used to tell me he was worried about taking money from his children. Think it was his way of manipulating me into not asking him for money. I basically lived like a single mum with him coming and going as he pleased, not paying a penny but doing a bit of work on house so that he could hold it over me

OP posts:
Nativityriot · 18/01/2019 13:26

Just text him and say he’s got no chance and btw FYI does he know you’ve kept a written record all these years of the money he had kept with different people, have written it up and emailed it to yourself and a trusted friend and are seconds from sending it to Hmrc.

He is down as married with a marital home, had contradicted himself in writing already as to your relationship and has not record of paying bills or mortgage or anything. He has no chance!

Wordthe · 18/01/2019 13:32

Please do the HMRC thing as suggested by @nativity
please let us know how he responds
(Obviously do whatever you need to to maintain anonymity!)