How old were you and your partner when you had your third child?

[Zarah786]

Was the decision easy?
We're you scared of rocking the boat?

My husband and I are on the fence, we've discussed casually trying but because I am 36 and he is 41 I worry of all sorts...

Was the pregnancy different?
How did the dynamics change?

I was 42, DH was 43. Easy pg and elcs birth. Very big gap between dc1 and dc2, so it was nice for dc2 to have a playmate. Only really juggling dc2 and dc3 as dc1 is an adult.

We had a baby when I was 43 and he was 44. Our daughters were 12 and 9. My husband has two other daughters that were 18 and 15. He’s a handful but we wouldn’t change him for the world. He’s now 3.5 and I’m 47.

I was 41 having my third and DH was 39.
We already had a 6.5 yr old and 4.5 yr old.

I'd always wanted 3, DH would have been happy stopping at 2.

They are now 11.5, 9.5 and 5 and the bond between them is amazing. They do argue and fight like brothers do but the moments when they're playing nicely, giving each hugs and saying how much they love each other makes it all worth it.

I was 34, DH was 33

Pregnancies were all similar but I enjoyed being pregnant much less by the third but there are only just under 4 years between DC1 and DC3. Labour also got quicker with each DC, less than 2 hours with DC3.

Following as having the same debate in my head! I’m almost 31, DH coming up 36. Our DDs are 5 and 1. I do not feel “done” and in my heart I desperately want another baby. DH would happily stop now, but he knows how much I want it so he’s open to it. He said no newborns after he’s 40 tho, and we still have some financial things to clean up over the next year, so doesn’t leave us long! I have PCOS too, so conception is slow for us. So many practicalities of sticking at 2, but my heart wants 3! I sway one way and the other almost daily! Here for the replies, sorry it’s not advice OP! Hope you guys end up making the right decision for you, I totally get it!! X

If I was in your age I would go for it. At 36 now I wish I did while hubby was younger. You won’t stop thinking about it, I keep swaying from one way to another….

Personally if you’re on the fence then I don’t feel you don’t want one that much.

I was 37, my dh was 45.
We had our second and third ie twins at those ages.

Yes pregnancy and dynamics were v different. But it was twins

36 (me)
40 (dh)
they were born a month early, I was in hospital off and on for a month before they were born. Birth was straightforward. Gap between #2 and #3 is 20 months. Three is the perfect number!

I was 40, DH was 48. It was the easiest pregnancy of all of them. The dynamic in the family hasn't changed - but my third was born just before covid lockdown which gave us time to completely focus on the family dynamic so we had time to really sort it out.

We were 33 and 35. I desperately wanted a third child, I knew it would complete our family. Thankfully DH agreed and no regrets from either of us. We had our wonderful third son.

Not my third, but my fourth.

i had just turned 39 when i had my fourth baby, my partner was 31.

My other pregnancies were at ages 27, 29 and 32 but the fourth pregnancy was actually the easiest out of all of them.

i developed GD but it was well managed and was just the loveliest pregnancy.

Also the dynamics haven’t changed except for the fact that our fourth totally completed our family.
I went through the pregnancy knowing it would be my last baby and I think that helped me really enjoy and relish every moment.
i opted to have my tubes tied during my c section and so the feeling of being totally and utterly content with our family is just an amazing feeling.
being older during my final pregnancy, and now with a 2 year old, I actually find I have more patience and in many ways more energy than I did before. Perhaps it’s my toddler that keeps me feeling young!

I was 39 my H 37

Our third wasn't planned.

Pregnancy I was very unwell (severe anaemia require iron infusions) and he was 5w premature

He has made our life a lot harder. I was at, what I felt like, was the prime of my life. About to be promoted, really fit, zest for life.
Now I'm still in the same job, unfit and so so tired. I worry about being old when he's in his teens, supporting him through his GCSEs and FE.

I love him fiercely and I wouldn't change a thing. It's on me now to turn things around.

You could have written this about us. We are 32 & 37 with a 6 and 2 year old 😂

We debated a third and we were on the fence and my husband said 40 was the cut off for him 😂

Now expecting our third!

We have just had our third (4mo). I’m 38, DH 39. Our other DC are 9&6. We had a tough time with DC2, and had decided not to have a third. And then as we approached 40, we changed our minds and thought we’d regret if we didn’t. Pregnancy was a bit harder. Although I actually kept fitter and stronger overall than in the other pregnancies, I felt so much slower towards the end and had more back/pelvic pain, and could feel that I was older. Dynamics wise, it’s great. Our other DC being that much older, they’re much more independent and are able to help sometimes. DH and I know our rhythm, and our strengths with parenting, and are being a much stronger partnership than we have before. I’m not finding that our age is particularly affecting the parenting stuff. Maybe we will notice it more as he gets bigger, time will tell. Good luck with your decision making

I was 37 and DH was 34 when DS3 was born

First at 29, second at 38, third at 40. DH was 41.
Number 3 pregnancy was a breeze, much easier than the other two…
Third baby slotted right in, age gap hard work though because I was still doing school runs for number 1, had to get a toddler and baby ready to leave house at 8.15.
all good now, the eldest at 23 loves her little sisters and is a second mum to them. Takes them everywhere, gives them advice etc, they all have an amazing bond and wouldn’t be without each other. Now aged 23, 14 and 12. Good luck! x

I was 36, DH 35. We debated it for months, years probably. But I couldn’t put the thought to bed and he was easy with 2 or 3. I definitely knew 3 was our max though.

Thank you for your response.

Did you working pattern change as each child came along?

Did you find yourself stretched between the eldest two when the third came along?

25 and 30. We were 29 (just turned) and 33 when we had our fourth. I’m younger than him!

I know you didn’t ask me specifically but:

Did you working pattern change as each child came along?

I was at uni for DD1 and went back full time. Went back full time after DD2 as well. I’ve requested full time but condensed to 4 days after this mat leave.

Did you find yourself stretched between the eldest two when the third came along?

So far, yes but DS is 5wo and EBF. Luckily, DH is an equal parent and doing the lion’s share with the eldest two and my parents are very close and give their grandchildren so much attention.

i had my first at 17 Dh was 20, second at 21&24 third at 23&26 fourth is due early june i’m 27 and dh is 29 nearly 30 definitely our last altho if it was completely upto Dh we would probably never be done having kids so far i found it hardest going from 1-2 kids out of all the transitions even taking into account being very unwell and having to be hospitalized with sepsis after dc3 transitions from 2-3 still felt easier but maybe that was because it was during lockdown and we didn’t really leave the house much