How old were you and your partner when you had your third child?

[Zarah786]

Was the decision easy?
We're you scared of rocking the boat?

My husband and I are on the fence, we've discussed casually trying but because I am 36 and he is 41 I worry of all sorts...

Was the pregnancy different?
How did the dynamics change?

Was the decision easy? Yes
Were you scared of rocking the boat? No

My husband and I are on the fence, we've discussed casually trying but because I am 36 and he is 41 I worry of all sorts...We were 33 when our third was born.

Was the pregnancy different? Easier in some ways as just got on with it with two under three
How did the dynamics change? Don't remember much other than number one seems very grown Up all of a sudden.

25

Had mine at 32, 33, 36 and 41. Husband is 18 months younger. I found the pregnancies harder as I went along probably to do with the amount of pregnancies rather than age.

However the dynamics are easier. I have more time at 41, the older kids help. Better finances. Holidays and travel are tricky the more kids you have. And finding a willing babysitter 😁 good luck!

3rd just before turning 28.
1st - 21, 2nd -26, 4&5th - 30 & 6th - 37.

I think 1 to 2 is the hardest transition mentally, after that more just slot in.
My 1st 3 pregnancies and births were good. Twins was much harder (they were 17lb combined at birth, so I was huge) and had elcs as they were breech/transverse. Youngest's pregnancy was good, I was weightlifting until over 35wks, she was 10lb 15oz tho... ended up with scar rupture and emcs with heavy blood loss so felt pretty rubbish for a while. I was back in the gym weightlifting at 10wk pp despite this.

Do you work? How do you manage you routine with 6 children?

How old are they now if you dont mind me asking?

They are 10, 8, 5 and 1. It's just myself and the baby during the day on my days off (rest in school) which is lovely. And was great on maternity leave. I also work 3 days per week. It does get easier ☺️

I became a SAHM after maternity finished with our 2nd as I was pregnant with 3rd. Childcare costs would have eaten up all my earnings if I went back part time, husband is military and was away a lot back then so mostly on my own. Now he still works away a lot but been able to get home most weekends the past couple of years and retires in less than 2. My life revolves around the needs of the family, I can only do the gym because we have a home set up. The more kids you have the less help is offered and tbh I don't like to ask either because nobody really wants to have them all.

I was 36.

Pregnancy was no different (in fact it was a lot easier than the second one) but obviously you are quite a bit more busy, so less time to rest! And labour was lightning-quick.

How old was your DH if you dont mind me asking?

I was 41 and DH 39 when DC3 was born, 5 years after DC2, who was 3 years younger than DS1.
Pregnancy and births were all pretty similar. I always called DC3 our bonus baby, have never regretted having him.
Logistics were more difficult in some ways ( swimming, cinema for older children, needed bigger car, finances were tighter) but a 3rd baby slots into family life very easily and doesn't need as much entertaining as a first baby because they are so easily amused by the older ones. The family routines are already in place, and tbh I didn't find the jump from 2 to 3 very difficult at all.

We were both 41. The older two were very young, we had 3 under 5 for a bit 😱. It is fab now they are older though. As a PP said as soon as DC3 was born I knew our family was complete.

5.5 years from first to last like a previous poster.

29 with DC1
31 with DC2
35 with DC3

I had also decided not to have a third, and then got pregnant that month...the whole pregnancy I was very down and worried and thought I wouldn't be able to handle it. I fell in love with the baby but found her hard to manage with a 5 and 3 year old. But...now the bigger ones are a year older, the baby is walking, talking, playing - yeah, it's fun. I work 3 days and that just covers childcare but I have a hands on husband who arranged his day around spending time with the kids. We've built a local network which allows us to enable our kids to do a bit more extra curricular stuff.

Life will never be easy again and there will be challenges to come but i am beginning to really enjoy the dynamic as a family of 5.

Mine are exactly the same dynamic!

He's 18 months younger than me, so had just turned 35.

36 me
38 him

yes easy decision. Had one of each sex already so not driven by that issue but always knew if it were feasible we would probably have three kids.

Had my 4 at 21, 23, 25 and 27.

DH nearly 10 years older.

Wouldn't have done it over 30, they nearly broke me as it was

I was 35, DH was 42.

Was the decision easy? Yes, we always wanted a third (or even fourth!) but we had to wait until the timing was right. DH changed jobs & finances weren’t stable so we waited.

We're you scared of rocking the boat? No

Was the pregnancy different? No

How did the dynamics change? Older two were besotted. DH had more patience third time round. We took it in our stride. The best bit is that it’s allowed the older two to be younger just that little bit longer - Christmas, Halloween, birthdays etc are still magical and exciting because they have a much younger sibling. Downsides are things like cars/holidays/taxis - everything seems to cater for families or 4 and often you don’t just have to pay for one extra person, it’s one extra room or one extra taxi etc.

We are trying for our third. Husband is 41, I am 34.

30

I was 32 when I had my third baby. My dh was 37. I was 24 when I had my first boy and 26 when I had my second boy. Tbh I had a third because I wanted a girl but we were all besotted with number three from the minute he was born. Best thing I ever did. All three boys are now adults and they have a lovely bond.

How did you find the age gaps? And did you work while raising them if you don't mind me asking?

Just got back from a night out! To answer your question, my second son had a condition which developed when he was four which prevented me working for a time as he needed a lot of attention. I got pregnant when he recovered when he was six so I didn't work for a few years. Then when my third son was four as well he developed the same condition so that was another few years of me hardly working, although I did manage a bit of part time. Not an easy time but a long time ago. My sons are now in their 40s and the youngest is 35.

The age gap wasn't a problem. The two older boys liked having a little brother and when the two oldest fell out as they often did, they never fell out with the youngest. They were very protective of him. This is about 30 years ago though so my memory might be faulty!

Hey

We were both age 29.
Other DD was 4.5 and DS 2.1
Awful pregnancy with pre eclampsia (same as other 2)
Babies 2&3 were perfect gina ford babies neither ever woke at night from day 1 (seriously) so made mgmt of the 3 under school age easier- when 4.5y at pre school, no 2&3 would nap at exactly book time in double buggy, so I could have relaxing lunch at a cafe etc and have a break each day

Went back to 4 days a week at 6/9/15m, had a FT au pair & 1 at partial nursery, 1 at pre school, other people helped for slots ie so younger ones were cares for at my home by my friends/ cleaner and not always out the house.

Wrecked my body- thyroid went after pre eclampsia #2, put on 3st then 5st after birth #3 (went into reverse, gaining lbs every day) and still 3st over weight 10yr later

Husband always done 50%, did nights (i bf but did everything else), he wfh more than me now and loves ferrying them around and is the main parent now really as my job is 8-7pm and full on this yr. i also had to have diastis recti surgery privately.

Advice- if your DH is amazing dad: high energy (mine was 29 and now at 39 still has FT job, PT job and main parent) & your industry is robust enough dor you to take the risk go for it

Hi just wondered how you're getting on now? In a similar position to your ages and your kids ages and are debating a 3rd but not sure.How was your birth?