4 kids under 8, tell me it gets easier (pleeeeaaase)

[rachelfrost]

The lovely littles are ages 8, 5, 2 and baby (5m)

Can someone who has had four or more kids close in age tell me a nice story about how being a stay at home mum didn’t kill them? Preferably set in a tiny house- no ‘when it got really bad I asked nanny to pick them up from nursery’. Please. Please. Please. Thanks

I had 4 under 7, and later on 3 in 3. 2years!!
I am still relatively sane..
I have no friends as nobody could really accept my busy life!!
Dc are worth it! , make sure they have decent bedtimes is the key ime.
Bad days =dvd and snacks days!!
Good days =get everyone out for some fresh air and a picnic!
Packs of wipes distributed make willing clean up helpers too!!
Sorting clothes can be fun!!
Bedtimes are the best!!
Good luck!!

I have a 6,4,2 and 6 month old. Last one was a surprise and I’m not enjoying life at all. I so hoping this gets easier x

Yes, it DOES get easier. By the time DC1 was 7 DC4 came along, I know people who have done it faster and had them closer together but this felt like pretty hard work to me!

Wins are (and I know the bigger the problem the bigger the child but you are doing it without poo and porridge in your hair and hopefully more sleep!):

When they can all eat breakfast on their own, no boobs or bottles needed
ALL get dressed, put on socks and coats
Do up their own seat belts
The point when you sell the last pushchair and only need a couple of booster seats
They ALL go to school and you get some time in the day

I'm not wishing my life away but I'm glad that the more physical stage is over. No nanny here but I am lucky enough to have some very good friends.

I think I saved my sanity by keeping up a couple of hobbies and finding a good hairdresser, a good cut and colour for a few hours was bliss and kept me feeling a tiny bit like I could still look like me again when I needed to.

Aprilislonggone
It sounds like you have the right temperament for having seven kids! I get what you’re saying- it can be fun, even the sorting of clothes, but that state of mind often escapes me. Although what IS fun for me? Running into the sea naked is all I can think of, rolling down hills, dancing... not sure how many of these I can fit into the day to day. So I better get to work on finding the fun in sorting clothes. :)

Slipp3rs
Yep. It better get better.

Dotte
Thanks for some rays of hope. Putting their own seat belts on! Going to the hairdresser! I think that might be a new life goal. Last time I went to the hairdresser I had to wash my hair at home and leave with it wet to save time. Once they go to school I’ll have to get a job but I’m going to plan at least a terms recovery time otherwise I will keel over and die for sures.

I don’t want to grumble away their childhoods, they are so sweet and lovely, but grumble grumble... it is HARD WORK.

It gets easier when you youngest stops breast or bottle feeding . Mine are 8 6 4 and 18 months but the last year has been tough going. I work evenings to have some time as an adult.That really helps. X

Op I have 11 dc now!! Only 6 left at home though!!

Hey there. My oldest was 8 a few days ago.
It does get easier but there is always a new thing to deal with. Number three just started school for example and she has turned into a SheBeast after school. My oldest is tall for her age and definitely showing prepuberty signs:/ mood swings are nasty.

But it is worth it! I found going from 2 to 3 the worst tbh. New born with three others was a piece of cake in comparison. But again, it all depends on the individual characteristics of each child. My number 2 is undergoing investigation into Autism. We have had many many stressful times with him over the last few years.

Yes, it does get easier, but for me it got worse before it got better, and I learnt to adapt to the day-to-day challenges we have. My 4 are now almost 12, 10, 8 and 6. Our challenges include having 2 dc diagnosed with ASD, one very challenging and our families live half a world away...

As a pp says, once you don’t need to feed, don’t have a buggy etc etc, it becomes a lot ‘easier’. I still have a 6 year old that meltsdown when we are out and about, but I take that in my stride. And my 10 yo, who runs away a lot - well, we’ve even cracked that but precipitating the running away and walking around the block. My other 2 dc are pretty easy-going, particularly the eldest, and I can imagine that having 4 dc like them would be v easy!

Likewise, when you can start leaving them at home to nip to the shops (5 houses away in my instance), rather than taking them all with you, life becomes easier! It’s all those little things combined!

It definitely does get easier although the challenges change. I currently have DS14, DD13, DS10 and DS8 and it's fabulous fun. DS1 babysits for me now, and I can leave the older two whilst I do Beaver and Cubs runs etc, rather than having to take everyone to everything! No longer having a buggy was a big moment, as was the children being able to do their own shoes/coats etc!

I was a SAHM until they all started primary (and actually a bit beyond that - now work PT two short days a week) and being able to go and do something for 'me' during the school day was fab - riding, running, meeting friends for coffee etc.

Thank you everyone. Good to know there’s some light at the end of the tunnel.

Although I do wonder if there is an end to the tunnel. Sometimes I think by the time the youngest has finished breastfeeding and out of nappies and pushchairs the eldest will be starting on being a teenager.

Still. It’ll be okay. I just wish I could be a bit more Pollyanna about it all and enjoy the children rather than wanting them to be older so that I’m freer.

Mine are 14, 12, 10 and 9..

It does get easier in some ways and harder in others (sorry!).

I am still permanently tired, but I do work full time, so it feels relentless. I do enjoy it more though, there are many more fun times from trips to the cinema to just little moments where we have family chats/gossip and have a laugh together.

I also feel less vulnerable when Dh is away, I used to hate it when I was left with 4 under 5s especially at night. Now with dd1 being 5'7 it almost feels there is another adult in the house if that makes sense.

Good luck, I know how hard it feels at times, even now that they are a bit older!

I think there’s a window of things getting easier - from then they can get their own shoes on until puberty.

I have 4 (all within 5.5 years) and have been a single parent for the last four years. Oldest did his GCSEs this year - and I figured out I have SIX years of big exams on the trot. 😭😄

But I love, love, love this houseful of young adults I have now. And their friends. It’s amazing to enjoy their company and share the same things. I’m incredibly proud of them, and myself if I’m honest.

Sorry I wouldn't say it gets easier as they get older their needs change so it's just different . Eg teenagers problems mood swings etc trying to plan activities they all enjoy.

I agree with all the above. Also I used to hate having other children over (maybe because I was already struggling with 4 under 5s) but now ours is an open house and we often have friends over. We even had children from other countries, France, Spain and Russia etc :)

No one invites you with 4 DCs, so you have to do inviting.

But it’s easier when they have friends over once they get beyond the toddler years.

Hi OP, my MIL had a 3 year old a 1.5 year old and new born twins
She was a SAHM for 15 years and loved it. She said it was hard and demanding but she really had a great time and said once they get to school age is got easier as she could do house hold jobs in peace and quiet before the crazyness started again.

I had 3 under 4 and it's a lot easier now 2 of them are at school.

I’ve a 5, 4, 3 and 1 yr old. It’s pretty shit a lot of the time so nice to hear of some other people out the other side of it.

For me it got easier once they were all school age and especially once the oldest were at secondary school and could be more independent.

They’re 17, 16, 14 and 12 now (so once upon a time were 7, 6, 4 and 2...) and having four feels perfect. One minute they’re all arguing and the next they’re all laughing together - the close age is great, they can all hang out and have great networks through each other’s friends.

@april

11?!

*faints

The people saying they have three or four kids and are hating it - genuine question but why keep having children? (Not talking about those who got pregnant accidentally).

I've got just the one and I find it so difficult, it's put me off having another I'm sad because I always wanted a big family but don't think I could cope.

It’s lovely to know that other people have gone through it and are still sane and functioning.

I’m dreading the teenage years but a lot of posters mention enjoying older children as people, which gives me hope. Most of the time my role seems to be that of slave/ task master/ organiser/ manager and I don’t get those moments when I can appreciate how great the kids are because I’m too busy wiping their noses.

blackeyes72

Yes, being alone with them is such a responsibility! I catch myself lying in bed working out how I’d get everyone out if there was a fire/ medical emergency/ disaster.

Mine are now 15, 18, 19 and 21 and they’re all turning up for Christmas!
It’s gone in the blink of an eye.

I found that the 4th was one too many coping wise, I never caught up. It's really really hard and there won't be a 5th.
I think acceptance that it's shit for now and trying to find something good each day is enough.x

Kittykat93

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/larger_families/3437412-Did-you-initially-plan-to-have-a-large-family

Look someone recently posted just that question- on mumsnet!