Please reassure me I haven't wrecked IVF

[herewegoaagain2]

Please can anyone reassure me. I'm 2dp5dt and panicking that I've ruined my chances doing too much this weekend picking up my toddler, coughing, having a bowel movement, changing the bedding, picking toddlers food up off the floor etc and that it might have stopped the embryo from doing its thing. I told myself I'd be calm and not overthink it but two days in and I already am worrying myself silly. 🤦

Hey there

You've done normal things that needed to be done as part of life. None of those are going to cause any impact on whether implantation occurs. It's arguably better to do gentle activity like you have than to go to total bed rest or anything like that. As for bowel movements, it's far better to have bowel movements regularly than to hold it in and risk constipation.

Whatever will happen, will happen, but nothing you've mentioned there will spoil your chances of success. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Try not to worry. I spoke with my consultant last week who said that the embryo is super well protected in the early weeks and you can do all the normal stuff and that you would have to do something really serious -like a bad accident to cause any harm.

Thank you so much for responding @Scirocco and @mouse1234567. I really needed to hear both of those replies. This bit is sooo tough and I still have a good few days to go but I'll try and remember that. @mouse1234567 it sounds like you might be going through it too so best of luck 🤞.

@herewegoaagain2 I really feel for you -I get so worried about that sort of thing too. But my consultant is amazing and he really did stress not to worry about picking baby up etc-it really is so snug and safe inside!

Thank you for your well wishes -I have a 13 month old and I’m currently trying to work out when to do a frozen transfer for baby number two-I know it might take a while so I want to try soon but also I start a new job in Sep so might be best to wait a little . When did you start your journey to baby two?

Thanks @mouse1234567 I really appreciate it. Your consultant does sound amazing and very reassuring! I have an almost 13 month old too. I actually did a frozen round recently but had a chemical pregnancy so we had to wait a month and now we're going again. I was nervous of the close age gap the first time but wanted to do it before my maternity finished to be as stress-free as possible and because we liked the idea of a close age gap and weren't sure how long it would take but having the chemical pregnancy was tough and made me realise how much I really do want it so we're going again fairly quickly. It's a tough decision, especially if you are starting a new job. I guess if it were me I'd be thinking to either do it before the job starts to keep as stress-free as possible, or to wait a while to get into the job so you know the ropes a bit and can step back slightly during the process. I really hope it works out for you x

@herewegoaagain2 firstly congrats on being PUPO secondly I totally get your worries, I have a 14 month old and am just in the middle of starting my FET cycle and one thing I've been worrying about is doing too much with my little one. On the other hand, I keep referring back to the guided notes stating "to carry on with normal activities" and I try to remind myself that this is just our normal way of ttc baby number two and if it were the "normal" way we would be doing all these things anyway. I hope that brings some comfort x
@mouse1234567 may I ask, are you from the thread we did a couple years back the TMI thread? Your name seems familiar x

@herewegoaagain2 sorry to hear about the chemical. I had a similar experiences before the pregnancy with my son and it’s very hard. All the best for the next one. Know what you mean about keeping it stress free before the end of maternity -I actually have a 3D SIS and dummy transfer booked for next Monday and I trying to decide whether to do it or not -if I do it -I would transfer mid august so before I start work in September -which is half perfect and I half worry about starting pregnant! My test day would be just a few days before!! I’m also a teacher and feel it would be safer Covid wise to do before I’m back in a school. Also -it prob won’t work first time! But on the other hand -it might be nice to settle in the job and do in a few months! So hard! How long between your chemical and next FET did you have to wait?

@Bluemeadowbaby hi -yes I think I was in that thread!! How are you and your 14 month? You are also starting with your next FET i see -exciting! Wish you all the best! It’s really great to meet people on that stage of their journey.

@mouse1234567 I thought it was you! I was hopingforbabyD before. We're doing really well thank you, hoping you and your baby are too especially during the pandemic - what a bloomin year eh 🥴🙈 I see you're thinking of going for another cycle? I must admit the wait for us has been quite a while even when funded given the back log of covid appointments. Would you be starting fresh? X

Oh wow @Bluemeadowbaby -yes I def remember your name! How lovely! We are well thanks -what a year indeed! We have been fortunate actually -as we have been between houses for most of the pandemic so been living with my parents so have had lots of company and support -compared to most people in lockdown.

Ah that’s so annoying even when funded that you need to wait. I think we are quite lucky -as my clinic will let me go on downregging when I feel ready. Are you working at the moment? Do you have the maternity leave worries too? I just can’t decide what to do for the best! We haven’t really tried naturally either -we prob should a bit -but also I just don’t believe it would work.

Luckily we have frozen embryos so it would be a frozen transfer. How about you? X

Thanks so much everyone. Wishing you guys lots of luck for your next transfers too. One last hopefully silly question but last night I made myself sleep on my back but do you reckon side sleeping is also ok after transfer? Thanks again

@herewegoaagin2 also 2ww for me. 2 days in and I'm very anxious (2nd cycle after 1st was unsuccessful). I've never been told sleeping on my side isn't a good idea. I looked at Zita West's recommendations for the 2ww at the weekend and she also doesn't say anything about sleeping on back versus side.

In the early stages there's no issue with sleeping in either position. Later in pregnancy though, it's advised that you sleep on your side rather than on your back - it's safer for baby.

@herewegoaagain2 please try not to worry about that -I slept on my front until about 3-4 months pregnant and all was absolutely fine. Have everything crossed for you that transfer worked. When will you test?

Thanks so much everyone. @mouse1234567 I have to wait until Wednesday 14th to test. I am feeling a bit nauseous and ropey but I am convinced for some reason it hasn't worked and I think it's probably just all the medication as it would probably be too soon anyway. x

@herewegoaagin2 same test day as me, good luck with it 🍀
I spoke to my GP this morning to get signed off work (I'm too anxious to deal with people) and she described the IVF 2ww as feeling like you're being slowly tortured. Pretty much how it feels for me!

@CurbsideProphet how are you feeling? That absolutely sounds sensible if it's going to help you get through it. And your GP sounds very wise 🤣🤦. Would it be your first pregnancy?
I have been really active again this morning as took my toddler to soft play and keep really worrying and getting anxious that I have done too much bending down/picking up etc and I'm ruining my chances but it's impossible for me not to be on the go so much. Wouldn't it be great if we could erase it from our minds until test day?! Instead I think I am probably thinking about very little else.

@herewegoaagain2 yep trying for first (and likely only) baby. I wish there was an option to be sedated for the 2ww 😬 I was spotting on day 4 with my first try at IVF (the only embryo) so this time I'm anxious to see that again. I'm also finding it difficult to think about anything else.

All of the advice I've read is to carry on as normal, but it's best to avoid boot camp style exercise classes, hot baths, and proper heavy lifting. Bending / lifting a small child would definitely come under carrying on as normal.

Just to say I hope you're doing ok @CurbsideProphet. Not long to go now x

Thank you @herewegoaagain2 💐
Same to you 💐
OTD is Wednesday for me. I'm quite nervy. Last time I started spotting at 4dp5dt which became a full bleed by 7dp5dt. This time I've had no bleeding, but of course that's no guarantee of success.

Thanks @CurbsideProphet. I am shocked and delighted and very nervous but it's positive. I really hope you've had the same result. Sending lots of positivity. 🤞

Same here @herewegoaagain2 😀 💐
It's a jumbled mix of joy and fear.
I'm going to have to take it 5 minutes at a time I think.
Trying to remember that we can feel happy my eggs and DH's sperm can make a day 5 blastocyst and that blastocyst can implant. Those are huge hurdles to get over in IVF 🍀

Amazing news @CurbsideProphet. Congratulations! I totally understand, I'm so nervous too and keep questioning my symptoms but I guess we have to just do our best to relax and enjoy it.

Congratulations @herewegoaagain2!

Oh! And congratulations @CurbsideProphet!

Wow -congrats -this is such exciting news! I hope you are able to enjoy it -I know it isn’t easy to relax after infertility. All the best!!! X