Aparently new mothers would rather search the net...

[pookamoo]

... than ask their own mum for advice.

I heard something on the news this morning that said mums spend an average of 4 hours a day online looking for parenting advice, but I can't find a link.

Can't say I am surprised though!

I've always gone on line for practical advice. Not because I don't trust my mum (she's actually rather fab) but because I'd do her head in ringing her every 5 mins with some neurotic panic about the DC's.

It could be because every time I they ask them for help the best she comes up with is "I don't know"

So how much of that high average is down to MN?

All my mum could remember was unhelpful. She said she'd never known a new baby cry for 2 hours every evening (colic). My aunt told me later (once the colic had gone, of course, too late to be useful) that both of my aunt's kids had had colic.

Mum's Bf advice was also a corker. Sleeping through the night ditto.

Internet every time!

I'm sure my mum's advice would have been spot on had she not died nearly 20 years ago.

I trust my mum's advice, but it's good to see what else is out there!

My Mum answers any of my parenting questions with a shrug and an "I can't remember love." Very helpful.

when I hear some of my mum's advice, I wonder how she managed to bring up two children to adulthood without seriously damaging them along the way

Things move on though don't they, my mums advice is 20 yrs old!

Guidelines change; it's a fact. I have learnt lots from my Mum, but I don't have to ask her that often. Besides, the great advantage of the internet is you can take it or leave it; it's not going to be hanging around checking that you do as you're told

Ho do they know whether we spend those 4 hours online looking for parenting advice or simply for a chance to wind other mums up?

I agree with cory: that's what they say.

"What are you doing online?"
"I'm, um, looking for parenting advice, yes, that's what I'm doing."

It seems logical enough to look to the internet for advice - there are millions of voices out there and you can discuss your ideas with experienced and recent mothers from all over the globe. Versus one voice when you take advice from your mother.

My mother was useful when I was a new mother but she certainly wasn't the only person I listened to.

My mum was advised by the pediatrician to give her babies carnation condensed milk. No formula. No breast milk. She doesn't really buy into this whole breast is best thing.

When we were in Bruges with my one year old, my mum wanted to go out for drinks and leave the baby with the hotel worker who had kindly offered to look after her. Needless to say, I thanked her and declined the offer.

Internet every time!

I ask my mum but always get answered with the two most annoying responses in the world.

Me - 'Mum any ideas what we can do about ds's recent bad behaviour?'

Mum- ' Oh its just payback for how bloody horrible you were as a child'

or

Mum - 'thats the joys of parenthood dear!' (said in a i told you so, smug way)

ARGH ARGH ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

Athene...

Were your mother's ideas about how you should parent reflective of how she parented you?

Charlee, that's what my horrible FIL says to DH if we ask him anything! We've stopped asking him now.
We ask my mum occassionally, but she says she can't remember - God, I must have been bad for her to block it out!!!

my mum's response is usually 'i don't know i never had a boy'.....

unfortunately my gran died when ds was 8 weeks old, but i would have gone to her for advice, because she brought up 12 of her own alright.....

my mum always suggested topping up with formula even though DS was putting on a pound a fortnight - I respectfully said I wouldn't!

I also get 'I don't know, your brother was never like that' when I talk to her about DS1's boisterousness.

The other classic was 'oh, you'll work it out' when I was wondering how to get DS1 to stay in bed.

Really helpful as you can see!

My mom is quite good, but treats every question as some sort of academic research project, with varying opinions, evidence, and conclusions

I just want to scream, 'what's the answer!'

lol my mum had a 14mo gap between us so whenever i ask her something she can't remember

my mum has a distorted memory

• we were all good eaters (i clearly remember my little sister having to have all her food in separate bowls). My other sister had reflux and was/is tiny. i doubt she was a good eater as a baby!
• we were all good sleepers (i had to lie with my sister every night until she went to sleep)
• none of us were bf though my mum did try with my youngest sister
• she was apparently back in her size 10 jeans 2 days after giving birth each time (even though she stayed in hospital til we were 10 days old, jeans in hospital? i doubt it!)

etc...

she means well, and is helpful, but her memory is quite different from the reality me thinks

oh and MIL apparently went into labour with dh, didn't wake her dh, got a taxi to hospital, had dh, came home that morning and cooked everyone breakfast. YEAH RIGHT!

oh and whenever i'm having a shocker i get the "oh i don't know how i managed having 4 of you, all alone, your dad was always out at work and i had no family nearby"

yes mum, but that's why you pretty much cracked up!

LOL amida. My mum has a selective memory too. When I warned her that 2 year old DS was a risk to her baccarat, she asked me why he hadn't been taught not to throw thing. erm... because he's 2. Surely we weren't all so well behaved at 2! And my mum had 4 kids in 5 years.