Help! House is a tip! Where do I start?

[twocultures]

Ok this is really embarrassing but since I've started working a few months ago (leave early morning back around 6.30/7pm) the house has turned into an absolute dumping site .... I've barely managed to keep on top of the laundry and dishes . DP has taken DS today for a few hrs to give me some time on my own and I want to use it to sort the house as I can't even concentrate in this mess .

I'm so embarrassed I feel like I've failed my DP and DS ... we can't even have guests over unless we want to traumatise them
I just don't know where to start....it's a really small house so if one rooms a mess it spreads all over the house like a virus! Please help me! Heres list of what's in each room:

• lounge: 3piles of washed folded(ish) laundry as I can't bring it to the bedroom as its such a tip I won't be able to organise it...+ 4 big boxes of DPs stuff he wants to take up to the attic (which needs sorting first) as he's converting it into his office they are taking up a huge chunk of the tiny lounge, messy carpet, toys everywhere.
• kitchen: clutter all over the table (really random things), clutter on most of the work tops, mountain of dishes + messy cooker/oven (downstairs floors all filthy)
• bedroom: (aka the horror room) clothes covering over HALF of the floor it's like some fucking clothes carpet, bits of clutter DSs pulled out of a couple of drawers, box of stuff to get rid of, pile of shirts that need ironing (that I WILL NOT DO), random DSs clothes, shoes under bed, a couple of boxes I'm not sure what's even in them....
• bathroom: meh a bit cluttered but least of my worries as can sort it quickly
• DSs bedroom: not bad a couple of boxes that are ready to be put into his wardrobe (once we buy one!)

I feel so embarrassed I ever allowed the house to get into this state I feel overwhelmed and sad ... I don't want this for my family .

Where do I even start?

I would start with the bathroom. It sounds like an easy win and will motivate you to do the rest.
My house sounds similar and I'm so disheartened by it, so you are not alone.

The only thing that's ever worked for me is piling literally everything in the middle of the room and working from there. Completely destroy it to rebuild it! Good luck!

Bathroom
Washing up
Kitchen sides
Table
Dirty washing in basket/heap
Clean clothes away (forget about ironing)
Toys in a box/pile
One pile of papers/box of miscellaneous bits etc to sort later

Chuck as much as you can into the bin.

I'd say start at the top take a basket a trash bag and some cleaning products
Use the basket for things that don't belong and the bag for rubbish
Clear all the rubbish first clear things that don't belong into the basket this way you are saving time putting things into rooms quick clean then leave do this in every room emptying and filling your don't belong basket along the way then do all floors when ur finished upstairs
Do the same down stairs
It may not be perfect but it's a good start then not as daunting when u come to do it
I find doin a 15 mins stop watch on my phone for each room helps me too

I like to start in my bedroom - it means by the end of the day, no matter what you've managed to do / are yet to do, you get to collapse into a lovely clean bed, clear room and I find I wake up more motivated the next day to continue.

So change the sheets make the bed and then sort clean clothes into piles on it in categories of whose room they belong in. Dump the clothes piles in the relevant rooms, go back to yours and get your stuff hung up. Hoover, quick dust and it's a paradise!

Then onto DC rooms (to afford them the same courtesy). Beds made, stray clothing into wash and clean clothing put away. Tidy toys as quick as you can, Hoover and quick dust.

Now chuck bleach all over bathroom - loo, in bath, sink. Leave.

Put a load of washing on.

Then onto kitchen. Clear one surface by dumping everything k to other surfaces: wipe it, then lay out all the dirty dishes in categories (cutlery, cups, plates etc). Run bowl of water and full with one 'category'. Now go on a scavenge downstairs of all and any rubbish. Quick dust and surface wipe.

Now do those dishes. Wash and wipe and put away as you go. Hoover downstairs and you should be looking good!

Now hope in the shower because you'll be dirty and sweaty, and while you're in there rinse all the bleach.

Job done!

STEP 1. A glass of wine (or bar of chocolate) to put you in a happy mood, some banging tunes, to energise you.

STEP 2. I'd start with the kitchen whilst my energy levels are up, but also because an untidy/dirty kitchen can be a hazard.

STEP 3. Things that you can't organise (for lack of time or wardrobe space) put into the attic out of the way for now. As for the laundry - if you can't sort it, put in an accessible place (outside of your eyesight) and tackle it at the weekend.

STEP 4. Of course if you can, do get your family to pull their weight - DELEGATE DELEGATE DELEGATE...

STEP 5. And remember - she who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day!!! Break the back of your work today and do half an hour - hour every day and you'll soon be sorted!

Good luck

Thank you for all of the advice!
I've decided to tackle the bedroom first because it's gotten to a ridiculous state...
I've managed to sort out a full box full of clothes to get rid of ... The floors still covered in random bits of crap ... Etc odd sock here and there, bit of paper, random plastic part wtf??? And I've made the clean bed into a clutter tip ... Trying to tackle it before DP gets home .

Don't really feel like I've accomplished that much tbh ...

Jan thank you for the suggestions unfortunately step 4 is unattainable ATM as DS is barely 1.5 and DP works A LOT . Also step 3 - can't use attic as its getting converted into an office so we don't have ANYWHERE in the house for odd bits and bats/ boxes for later etc ...
Can't put the laundry out of sight either for the same reason - no space really .

Eminently sensible advice!!! (smile)

I completely understand how frustrating it must be for you - we want it all... Family, career, nice home!

I was practically house/bedbound for 3-4 years and whilst my husband and mom did the best to stay on top of everything, husband was holding down 2 jobs and mom was caring for our baby. Also I'm a ruthless declutterer and mom and hubby well... they lack my ruthlessness. The place was clean but way too many things for my liking, bit by bit I tackled the tut (Lord have mercy, the office was a demon), but I've got there and I do stay on top of things. I bleach, sweep, mop and chuck every day and even with making the beds and sorting the washing spend no more than an hour - hour and a half a day keeping our place pristine-ish!

Once it's done - discipline yourself to stay on top of it. In the meantime BREATH... you're doing A LOT!!!

Let us know how you get on, thinking of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm doing my bedroom of doom (aka dumping ground of clutter) today. My method:

Open the windows.

Bedclothes in washing machine.

Get bin bag.
Get a bag for life, or other place your stuff to take to a charity shop.
Get a laundry basket, big bag etc to put stuff that belongs in another room.
If relevant, get a box in which to store things in the attic/garage/box room/cupboard under the stairs.

Set a timer for between 20-30 minutes, or listen to a 30 minute radio programme. Put on music/podcast/audiobook.

Start in one corner of the room. Clear everything. If it belongs in the bedroom, put it in its place. If it is rubbish, put it in the bin bag. If it belongs in another room, put it in the laundry basket. Carry on across the room.

When your timer goes off, take the basket of stuff for elsewhere and empty it as quickly as you can, putting things back where they belong. Then give yourself 1 minutes to have a drink and a break and start again.

Once everything is done, dust, polish, vacuum clean and make the bed.

You've made a good start though! Maybe don't worry so much about the sorting at the moment, just get things put away. Once your environment is clean you can do a drawer or an area at a time to de-clutter or neaten up. I work to the 80:20 rule - 20% if the work makes t look 80% better. So go after the big 20!

Can you get any big boxes, maybe from a removal or storage place or Argos? I'd put the clean clothes into them one box per person you can find them whilst you're sorting the bedrooms.

I'd agree with the PP about loud music and lots of black bin bags. If you have outdoor space and it's not raining put bags outside as you work and be ruthless - one bag for charity shop, one for bin, one for maybes (if you must) and don't let DS near the process - he'll announce his affection for broken toys and clothes that no longer fit and refuse to let them go.

I've just made a start on my bedroom which is a hovel! Realistically shouldn't take me long as its a tiny room!

Window is open and bed is stripped

I just found a bar of chocolate lurking under a pile of books, so am having a chocolate break before tackling the bag of stuff I put in a bag to get it out of the way during an emergency tidying session around a year ago.

Again Thank you everyone !

I just can't believe how bad I've let it get
I can now see the carpet on one side of the bed with no clutter or bits whatsoever !!!

I think what's tricky for me is that I've not lived here that long and nothing really has its 'spot' as such (even some drawers etc) so I'm ending up with random crap I've no clue where to put.

God I really just want to sort it out, declutter and be able to actually Hoover, dust and clean and keep on top of it all!

You have had good advice here and hopefully will get things sorted .I am concerned though that you keep saying "I've" let it get like this , it's not just you there are two adults in the house , you have both let it get like this , my Dh works very long hours , think gone at 6am and back on an early night at 9.00pm but he still manages to put his clothes away , pick up stuff and clutter and put crockery away etc etc

You have had good advice here and hopefully will get things sorted .I am concerned though that you keep saying "I've" let it get like this , it's not just you there are two adults in the house , you have both let it get like this , my Dh works very long hours , think gone at 6am and back on an early night at 9.00pm but he still manages to put his clothes away , pick up stuff and clutter and put crockery away etc etc

This ^

I think I keep saying I've let it get so bad because up to a few months ago I was a SAHM so I feel that I should've organised everything a lot better in the run up to starting work.

I think that, like a lot of families, you underestimated how much the SAHP actually did.

Get together with your DP (with nibbles and a nice drink and several sheets of paper and a pen) and work out together what needs to be done.

Tidying/decluttering/finding places for things, taking it in turns to tackle the clutter while the other one looks after the DC.

What level of clean and tidy do you think is feasible to have with young children and 2 adults who work? What will you need to do to maintain that? Divide up the tasks in a way that seems fair. Possibly draw up a schedule. Include the other household jobs like cooking and planning and budgeting and shopping and child-related tasks.

Have another meeting in a couple of weeks to see if your system works and tweak it.

Just an update!
since I last posted I've managed to pretty much sort the bedroom!!!
There's a few of boxes (2 full of clothes 1 DPs from attic) to get rid of and 2 that are currently in there that need taking up to the attic and a MOUNTAIN of washing to do, once the boxes are gone I will try and sort any odd bits and put everything it its place hopefully . Laundry is a bit tricky as don't have much space to dry anywhere and due to the house being stone it takes ages to dry so can only do a load every 2/3 days unless the weathers nice.
Also managed to keep the kitchen worktops clean and clutter free so far! But the table is another story
Just wanted to thank everyone for their advice and not judging !!! Hopefully I will keep at it and finally have the house how I always wanted it.

You've inspired me to tackle my bedroom op.

It has been so useful reading this thread and makes me feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one going through the inner panic of my house being a tip and all my fault!

I've taken notes and will be tackling my bedroom first....after a large glass of wine of course!

Well done op!

Bomfunk thank you, that's a really good system.