Help! House is a tip! Where do I start?

[twocultures]

Ok this is really embarrassing but since I've started working a few months ago (leave early morning back around 6.30/7pm) the house has turned into an absolute dumping site .... I've barely managed to keep on top of the laundry and dishes . DP has taken DS today for a few hrs to give me some time on my own and I want to use it to sort the house as I can't even concentrate in this mess .
I'm so embarrassed I feel like I've failed my DP and DS ... we can't even have guests over unless we want to traumatise them
I just don't know where to start....it's a really small house so if one rooms a mess it spreads all over the house like a virus! Please help me! Heres list of what's in each room:

• lounge: 3piles of washed folded(ish) laundry as I can't bring it to the bedroom as its such a tip I won't be able to organise it...+ 4 big boxes of DPs stuff he wants to take up to the attic (which needs sorting first) as he's converting it into his office they are taking up a huge chunk of the tiny lounge, messy carpet, toys everywhere.
• kitchen: clutter all over the table (really random things), clutter on most of the work tops, mountain of dishes + messy cooker/oven (downstairs floors all filthy)
• bedroom: (aka the horror room) clothes covering over HALF of the floor it's like some fucking clothes carpet, bits of clutter DSs pulled out of a couple of drawers, box of stuff to get rid of, pile of shirts that need ironing (that I WILL NOT DO), random DSs clothes, shoes under bed, a couple of boxes I'm not sure what's even in them....
• bathroom: meh a bit cluttered but least of my worries as can sort it quickly
• DSs bedroom: not bad a couple of boxes that are ready to be put into his wardrobe (once we buy one!)

I feel so embarrassed I ever allowed the house to get into this state I feel overwhelmed and sad ... I don't want this for my family .

Where do I even start?

[RumRumRum]

Would be amazing g to have a house I'm not embarrassed to have people in, and not to worry about unexpected guests.

[RumRumRum]

Thanks for bringing this thread back! Our house is a tip - very hard to do housework with a baby, and the washing they bring! Some useful tips here for when I get some time to tidy!

[Constantbronchitislaryngitis]

Have to post even though thread is old!
Thanks for this
I started working recently and am feeling overwhelmed by housework today
It’s my day off and I’m shattered but looking at the house is scaring me
I’m going to use lots of the tips on here
Thank you!!!

[twocultures]

Thanks for the advice Cheese
OH has just gone up there to make a start on sorting the stuff , I'm about to follow

I've already gotten rid of a lot of my clothes I think OH will do the same with the pile he got from the attic.
Fingers crossed if we manage to sort it tonight he'll be able to take the boxes of office stuff up to the attic soon so they're not laying around the house anymore.

[CheeseFlavouredDiscs]

Is there anywhere else you can store things for a bit? Maybe take a load of bags of clothes to a friends or family members house and ask if you can store it there for a week or so whilst you sort your house out?

It sounds like everything stored in the attic is being pushed into an already full house to make way for the office? If this is true, then you may want to consider how much stuff you have and get rid of everything you don't completely love or isn't useful.

I have recently done a massive de-clutter of our house (it was so bad) and the men at our local rubbish dump got to know me very well as I was there every other day with a car full of black bin bags to throw out.

I think the best thing I did was unplug the TV and stack bags of stuff on top of the sofas so that we couldn't just sit down and veg in front of the TV. It forced us to get on with the job each evening rather than ignoring it all and watching TV.

My method of de-cluttering (which may work for you as we also had very limited space) was this:

Firstly, I packed a bag so that I had everything I needed for a week, and did the same with everyone who lives at our house. I put these bags somewhere easily accessible.

Then I invested in lots of those big see-through 65 litre SAMLA boxes with lids from IKEA, and sorted a room at a time. link

Everything I wanted to keep went into those boxes. A box for clothes, a box for stuff I want to keep, a box for stuff that someone else has to decide on, a box for stuff that lives in a different room of the house, or has no home yet. Then I stacked up those boxes against the wall and moved onto the next room.

Every day the rubbish went into the car and when it was full I took it all to my local tip. Very satisfying!

I also identified larger items that I wanted to get rid of that could be donated, and put it all in the car at the beginning of my decluttering to make space quickly. I did one big run of donations to the various places that would take them. Also, don't feel bad if you don't have time to donate things, just throw them instead. Our local tip has a re-use shop that takes donated items, so maybe yours does too?

And lastly, I decided where everything was going, made sure I had homes for all the things I had decided to keep (I stuck post it notes on every drawer, box and cupboard listing what items were 'allowed' in there), and then took everything out of the SAMLA boxes and put it away. If I hadn't given something a home, then it went back into the box for later. At the end I looked at all the stuff I hadn't given a home to, decided to throw some of it out and made homes for the other stuff. Nothing got out of those boxes without a home to go to! I kept the post-it notes on the storage areas for about a week to help remind me where each item went.

Then I made sure that everyone understood the rule 'you take it out you put it away', and now I always make sure clutter is put away before bed and all the kitchen items go into the dishwasher/get washed up before bed.

If you find you don;t have enough homes for items, then I can recommend IKEA storage systems (such as the KALLAX range which will store loads of stuff in a very efficient way, for a very reasonable price.

I hope you make some more progress and keep throwing stuff out, you will make progress as long as you keep at it!

[LugsTheDog]

That's ok OP, the clothes will get shifted and what's underneath is still basically ok. You (plural!) can do it

[Afreshstartplease]

Oh dear op how disheartening

I feel like all I ever manage at most is the basics. And pretty much as soon as I do someone comes and messes back up!

[twocultures]

Aggghhhhhh! Motivation is dwindling again!
OH has a day off today decided to start sorting the attic to move his office in there ended up throwing mountains and I mean MOUNTAINS of clothes into the bedroom (that's where the ceiling door thing to the attic is) and random bags and boxes of shit... It's now piled on the bed and he's gone off to take some boxes to the dump site and make a meeting . I can't sort it as its his stuff so have to wait for him tonight . My lovely bedroom is now a tip again it's like we've gone backwards .

[Jaysundaruler89]

Well done OP. It sounds like you are making great progress :)

[twocultures]

Den for me it was the best place to start! It makes such a difference going to sleep and waking up in a clean airy room.
I've still got lots of things to do in the house but I'm extra motivated because me and OH discussed it and once we sort the major clutter/ make space for stuff and organise the space , we will invest in a few extra things that will make the house nicer and some things that will be more practical therefore reducing workload. I can't wait to sit down in the lounge and not have to stare at the other sofa aka clutter island and have a or light a candle and just relax without worrying about the state of this place .

[LugsTheDog]

Bomfunk thank you, that's a really good system.

[Afreshstartplease]

Well done op!

[Denshacam]

It has been so useful reading this thread and makes me feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one going through the inner panic of my house being a tip and all my fault!

I've taken notes and will be tackling my bedroom first....after a large glass of wine of course!

[Littleballerina]

You've inspired me to tackle my bedroom op.

[twocultures]

Just an update!
since I last posted I've managed to pretty much sort the bedroom!!!
There's a few of boxes (2 full of clothes 1 DPs from attic) to get rid of and 2 that are currently in there that need taking up to the attic and a MOUNTAIN of washing to do, once the boxes are gone I will try and sort any odd bits and put everything it its place hopefully . Laundry is a bit tricky as don't have much space to dry anywhere and due to the house being stone it takes ages to dry so can only do a load every 2/3 days unless the weathers nice.
Also managed to keep the kitchen worktops clean and clutter free so far! But the table is another story
Just wanted to thank everyone for their advice and not judging !!! Hopefully I will keep at it and finally have the house how I always wanted it.

[JasperDamerel]

I think that, like a lot of families, you underestimated how much the SAHP actually did.

Get together with your DP (with nibbles and a nice drink and several sheets of paper and a pen) and work out together what needs to be done.

Tidying/decluttering/finding places for things, taking it in turns to tackle the clutter while the other one looks after the DC.

What level of clean and tidy do you think is feasible to have with young children and 2 adults who work? What will you need to do to maintain that? Divide up the tasks in a way that seems fair. Possibly draw up a schedule. Include the other household jobs like cooking and planning and budgeting and shopping and child-related tasks.

Have another meeting in a couple of weeks to see if your system works and tweak it.

[twocultures]

I think I keep saying I've let it get so bad because up to a few months ago I was a SAHM so I feel that I should've organised everything a lot better in the run up to starting work.

[AnthonyPandy]

You have had good advice here and hopefully will get things sorted .I am concerned though that you keep saying "I've" let it get like this , it's not just you there are two adults in the house , you have both let it get like this , my Dh works very long hours , think gone at 6am and back on an early night at 9.00pm but he still manages to put his clothes away , pick up stuff and clutter and put crockery away etc etc

This ^

[YellowPrimula]

You have had good advice here and hopefully will get things sorted .I am concerned though that you keep saying "I've" let it get like this , it's not just you there are two adults in the house , you have both let it get like this , my Dh works very long hours , think gone at 6am and back on an early night at 9.00pm but he still manages to put his clothes away , pick up stuff and clutter and put crockery away etc etc

[twocultures]

Again Thank you everyone !

I just can't believe how bad I've let it get
I can now see the carpet on one side of the bed with no clutter or bits whatsoever !!!

I think what's tricky for me is that I've not lived here that long and nothing really has its 'spot' as such (even some drawers etc) so I'm ending up with random crap I've no clue where to put.

God I really just want to sort it out, declutter and be able to actually Hoover, dust and clean and keep on top of it all!

[JasperDamerel]

I just found a bar of chocolate lurking under a pile of books, so am having a chocolate break before tackling the bag of stuff I put in a bag to get it out of the way during an emergency tidying session around a year ago.

[Afreshstartplease]

I've just made a start on my bedroom which is a hovel! Realistically shouldn't take me long as its a tiny room!

Window is open and bed is stripped

[CryingShame]

Can you get any big boxes, maybe from a removal or storage place or Argos? I'd put the clean clothes into them one box per person you can find them whilst you're sorting the bedrooms.

I'd agree with the PP about loud music and lots of black bin bags. If you have outdoor space and it's not raining put bags outside as you work and be ruthless - one bag for charity shop, one for bin, one for maybes (if you must) and don't let DS near the process - he'll announce his affection for broken toys and clothes that no longer fit and refuse to let them go.

[bomfunk]

You've made a good start though! Maybe don't worry so much about the sorting at the moment, just get things put away. Once your environment is clean you can do a drawer or an area at a time to de-clutter or neaten up. I work to the 80:20 rule - 20% if the work makes t look 80% better. So go after the big 20!

[JasperDamerel]

I'm doing my bedroom of doom (aka dumping ground of clutter) today. My method:

Open the windows.

Bedclothes in washing machine.

Get bin bag.
Get a bag for life, or other place your stuff to take to a charity shop.
Get a laundry basket, big bag etc to put stuff that belongs in another room.
If relevant, get a box in which to store things in the attic/garage/box room/cupboard under the stairs.

Set a timer for between 20-30 minutes, or listen to a 30 minute radio programme. Put on music/podcast/audiobook.

Start in one corner of the room. Clear everything. If it belongs in the bedroom, put it in its place. If it is rubbish, put it in the bin bag. If it belongs in another room, put it in the laundry basket. Carry on across the room.

When your timer goes off, take the basket of stuff for elsewhere and empty it as quickly as you can, putting things back where they belong. Then give yourself 1 minutes to have a drink and a break and start again.

Once everything is done, dust, polish, vacuum clean and make the bed.