Remember, remember to Fly through November, but Fledglings will chatter a lot

[BlueEyeshadow]

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do someting more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings. Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Humungous thanks to SlimChance for leading us through October and such a copy-and-pasteable OP....

All welcome!!

x posts

A very warm welcome to Struggling and what a lovely first post! Good luck with your studies and your new, brave, life-plan! Like Whoknows I haven't achieved a clean/tidy house in 4 years so, in turn, it is very inspiring to know that it can be done!

(Btw with regard to mental health and house-keeping, I can recommend the book 'Housework Blues' by Danielle Raine which I refer to every time I feel totally demoralised and overhelmed. Someone on this thread (I'm afraid I've forgotten who) recommended it a while back and it's been my constant companion ever since. It really helps with the ground hog day aspects of it all!

Thanks for the coffee Whoknows caffeine much needed this morning! Have a good day!

Ditto wot Bitchy just said [waves back]. Time to stop whinging and procrastinating here and bloody well get off my ample rear and do something!!

[SC takes the liberty of leaving out ëspecially potent cup of Bitchy's brew for Elliepac]

ta da
unpick 3 full seams and a part seam
realise alteration needs a different approach
unpick 5 different seams
Get and frustrated
Take mood out on my room for 15mins

Now to resew the first unpicked seams and lunch.

Slimchance yes, from the States. And Happy Thanksgiving to you all (even though I know it's not really a holiday here). All my family and friends will be tucking into a roast turkey dinner finished off with pumpkin pie. Which I would have made here if it were not for the wretched stomach bug that overtook everyone. Ah well, such is life.

I have embarrassed myself thoroughly today. Not in front of anyone but whatever spiders may be lurking in our wall. But still.. there it is. I found a huge gap between the floor and the wall, all along one side of the room. Cue huge panics about the size of spider that could creep through it. Yes, there is no way I could sleep with this. So I dug out the tin foil (handy stuff that) and rolled long tubes of it and stuffed it in the hole with a metal spatula (until of course I found an appropriate tool - my handy dandy scraper). Then I've used filler and put filler over the tin foil. Now I can't say it's the neatest job in the world. It's not bad though. There's still one section to fill before I can be done. Although the section left isn't too bad and I think just putting the carpet back will cover the gap. gasp gasp...

Have I mentioned I hate spiders? Those big fast ones send me into orbit. Slow ones, not so much. Time to aim and squish, so I can cope... just barely. I had one of those big spiders in the living room a month ago and honestly, I spent weeks scanning the floors in case there was another one.

So everything on the list is instantly demoted until this crisis is averted. Everything. Even breathing.

Oh, and welcome to Struggling. My apologies for showing my neurotic tendencies. Please don't let it frighten you off. I'm actually relatively normal most days. Sort of.

I hate to say it but I am with you on the spiders alice

I'm tidying the garden atm.
Three long phonecalls to friends too, feel quite chipper after that.
Drove sons to school with big Trench project. They quarrelled less today!

otherwise knackered as usual, but today is pretty stressfree. Just have to think about dinner and it's nearly Friday except on Friday I have appt and cleaning lady is here mega anxiety which I need to defuse- On Friday lovely cleaning lady will help me restore house to some order, so today I can get on with the gardening (CBT way of approaching problem)

DS1 will be off school tomorrow, so not anticipating getting much done. At the moment, I'm just waiting for the filler to dry. It says quick dry, blast it!! It better dry enough to put the carpet back down tonight, or I'm going to be stomping around for the evening. may enter into the equation. (for me, not to put on the filler!)

Alice - another one here with arachnaphobia (even that word makes me shudder). I have anti-spider sprays and one of those plug-in thingies that is meant to keep them away. Some of the blighters still get through the defences though and then I have to call in the big guns (DH) or the little ones (DS1).

What a lot of us are having dental issues. Thanks to whoever offered us clove oil. I still have a swollen jaw from yesterday and am not looking forward to root-canal treatment tomorrow at all . Funnily enough, my DS2 has just finished 'Demon Dentist' by David Walliams and took great delight in telling me that the demon dentist's wall is splattered with blood!

struggling100 - I'm really glad you have finally unlurked to join in properly. I am very envious of your clean house and can imagine how therapeutic it feels. Even just decluttering my wardrobe the other day really lifted my spirits and I'm enjoying putting new clothes in there to replace the old, out-of-date stuff I never wore. Like you, I am also hoping to return to studying in order to start a new career. It feels very exciting.

sillybilly - what a good idea to allocate yourself a night for your craft projects. I'm glad you are looking after yourself. Very, very important, especially in your situation.

Slim - that housework book looks interesting. I have added it to my Amazon wishlist.

Bitchy - did you manage to catch up on sleep last night? I hope so.

Have had one of those tearing around days. Started with the usual frantic rush to get both boys to school (yes, they both went back today ), then met a friend for an hour, then rushed into town to do some urgent shopping (including the very important purchase of a shirt in one of my new colours from White Stuff ), then back in time for tea with my MIL, followed by a two-hour house cleaning session alongside my wonderful cleaner. I have only just sat down, so I expect DH will walk in now and say, "Have you been on Mumsnet all day again?" .

Ta da

Shopping done (including stocking fillers and MIL's birthday presents)
Morning routines done
House clean up and tidy up
Ironing done

The Lego city has been removed to DS2's bedroom, so we have a clean and tidy sitting room once more.

sneaking in to write this now, so I can't wimp out on it.

to do tonight
wash crayon off living room wall (as I still haven't done it and it Must. Be. Done.)
paint baseboard (or whatever word is used as the equivalent as I'm having one of those "searching for the proper word" moments) around living room and touch up a few spots on the walls so all is ready to decorate this weekend for Christmas. I was going to full on paint the whole room, but our happy little stomach bug has blown this week's plans completely out of the water.

Tomorrow I'm going to take DS1 to Aldi and I'm going to let him pick out a chocolate treat for the boys and I will be picking out something decadent for me. ME ME ME. And god help anyone that touches it.

Ta da
Work
Hospital appt....saga continues. So close to being able to ttc again (we hope) but not quite. HCG still 90 so back in 2 weeks for another blood test.

Ah well, at least I can guzzle Baileys on Christmas Day with my DM and Dsis

Bbl to catch up properly.]

Elliepac just running in to say what you already know: Ofstead are government bastards who play to career motivated SMT bastards, to massage reality, and most of it has doodly squat to do with providing a decent education to kids, and that’s just from a parent’s perspective!

Am off out to meet a lawyer and plead for expensive knowledge to be given free about stuff I should know by now, but LEA have leant rattled cross checked and hinted blackmail on me until I don’t know for definite if I do know what I think I know any more, either. That is the game, it’s a strategy they use to keep control and a public face on the truth of educational politics.
Some of these people make whole careers out of all this stuff you know.

Keep your chin up and hang on in there, this too will pass.

I fucking love you just. In fact I fucking love you all. Just got in from another shitty day to read all your lovely messages of support and realised that maybe things aren't so bad and smiled for the first time today.

This week has been breaking point as we have loads of new initiatives post ofsted which have to be done now plus reports for 65 million children plus having to pack classroom up to move classroom over weekend for 2nd time in 4 months (lots of building work at school) so everything has just seemed to come to a head. struggling how lovely that you gain inspiration from us and thanks for your kind words but I am not a superheroine more a 'jack of all trades master of none' type heroine.

And i'm going to have another self indulgent moan. I would post in AIBU but I don't need anyone to tell me to LTB. I have been doing everything in the house because DH has been working all the hours god sends which is fine. Today however he finished early. I wasn't expecting miracles but a quick tidy would've been nice but nope, fuck all. Sat and playe his computer for a couple of hours and then went to bed and is still in bed. Aaaaaaaaaaaargh. Dickhead.

This weekend my dmum is dragging me up to the caravan for one last time and is insistent that I can't cancel and that i do no work. I was resisting but right now a weekend away is just what i need. The rest of it (and DH) can go bollocks.

Tomorrow I will post something sane and reasonable and will at least mention flying....honest.

As i said at top, i love you all. Thank you listening. Goodnight.

Just hope the meeting with the lawyer went well, wish I could help.

Alice complete arachnophobe here, ugh, hate them. Phil Jupitus does a brilliantly funny sketch on his 3 classifications of size. I cried with laughter the first time I saw it. Sounds like you've had a busy day, and there's nothing wrong with 'going Gollum' over chocolate.

Hello struggling sounds like a NC is in order, as you sound like you've got it sorted.

Engels fingers crossed re blood tests! but at least the Baileys at Christmas is a plus.

Quiet day here, got some shopping done, and baked some of these Christmas Cookies for my night out tomorrow.

Ellie - your mum is quite right, you must go this weekend. I think most of us feel that way about our DH/Ps from time to time, and if I read the Relationships threads it starts me worrying that we are on the rocks. Then I come to my senses again. So I have hidden that topic.

Just - hope things went well this afternoon.

I have had two of my DCs friends back this evening, they have had tea and are all playing on the Wii. Once DH gets back I'm taking the friends back and babysitting them, so hoping to get some studying done, I have been slacking the last couple of weeks. Got quite a lot of home stuff done today and hoping to have a few hours free for study tomorrow. However we have a complicated day in store, mufti day, incorporating DD's class assembly for which she needs a costume, then in the evening she has her drama group show which needs a completely different costume.

Might be back later, depends what the 3G reception is like at friend's house.

I am still getting into fights on the internet. And over the same stupid topic too

The alterations have been a right royal pain in the arse and not helped my being pissed off.

Otoh i have found the floor in my and when i deal with the HUGE pile of paperwork the room will actually be pretty tidy. To the point where I am going to say fuck it and get the christmas decorations down at the weekend.

Went shopping for a few bits and ended up with a lot of bits at more expense then planned. On a plus note am fairly organised now so that helps.

WhoKnows god yes, the relationship boards mess my head right up. Things are quite up in the air right now with H & I and I am honestly not certain how things will end up, but I know I get edgy after reading that board so I've been trying to avoid it.

Goth Going gollum over chocolate really made me laugh. Then, of course, I had to try to explain why I was laughing to DS1, who has never seen or heard of the Hobbit or Rings movies/books. Utterly clueless and now he thinks I laugh at weird things that make no sense.

Good afternoon here. Lots of walking
Bubble and Squeak (we have the Riverford Veg box again Whoknows and it is such a relief to always have something to cook today it was the dreaded cabbage, which I disguised cleverly and draped with cheese
Ds2 in excellent spirits, and dictated his music homework to me with gusto
Ds1 talked to us at supper table all sorts of gossip interspersed with shaggy dog stories, very intriguing stuff if a little difficult to disentangle
Dd wrote a psalm
Dh also in high spirits due to his new business going well

and Garden looking Better.

SillyBob that sounds like just one more thing to deal with. Hope they help with Medical Bin immediately - why should you have any more worries to cope with?

ellie caravan sounded an excellent idea, and much less mess to deal with that way! Btw, I think most men would do that...I mean give up and go to bed after long day, and some women too I'm afraid to admit sounds like he is giving his all to his new job and possibly no point making any issue out of it. However, clearly he should understand just how tired YOU are too - maybe he doesn't mind mess anyway.

Just reading dss school rules again and thinking how on earth is all that jargon on homework meant to be implemented at the coal face -management speak is a complete waste of time - what about the people like you who actually have to do the teaching and implementation of other people's "bright ideas", which look good on paper but take teachers to the brink?

waves to everyone else.

Toffee I am intrigued by House of Colour. Read a few books but never came any closer to deciding whether I was a warm or cool Spring or Autumn or what colours suited me. I know that dd who has different colouring from me, sometimes looks amazing with the right shade of green or grey - as if her eyes suddenly become like burning jewels, and ds2 also looks incredible in orange and just bleugh in pale blue (his uniform shirt) (another lot of colouring as well, very Mediterranean)
What tone did you turn out to be? And were you wearing colours that didn't "suit" for years, like the rest of us

Hi everyone, a lot of topics been covered by everyone.

Went to the dentist, but turns out not to be my teeth but possible a infection in my sinus. On antibiotics, did start run a fever last night but a bit better today. But brain is not working on full capacity!!

Ta Da
Dentist
Shopping
Apology from the school after my complaint.
1hr of scouting paperwork
Visited middle school and made a decision regarding where DS3 is going (different to the route ds1 and 2 took)
Looked after two friends children
Dinner
Tidied up

No flying what so ever. Must do better!!!

Angry at them only just realising it's an infection, it seems to be have going on for ages. Hopefully the antibiotics will clear it up.

Oops!! Did do 2 bits of flying today, decluttered and cleaned out kitchen cupboard.
Cleaned out my car, and turned it into a reindeermobil. With Antlers and a red nose. Much to the joy of my dc but to the disgust of my teenager and Dh.

(Removed myself from the naughty corner).

Goth was wondering if it was all the same thing, myself!!! Would make sense!!!

No craft night for me - an unexpected stay in hospital with DS instead. Managed to clean the downstairs loo before he got a temperature, at least, and wash the guest bedding .

Night all.

Angry - you poor thing! I hope the antibiotics work quickly.

Swan - I really think it would be very difficult to guess what colour you are without the analysis. The consultant had hundreds of shades to choose from and held up swatch after swatch against my skin (desperately looking for a colour that suited me ). They test for the skin colour under your top layer of skin, which is blue based or yellow based, so two people who look the same can easily end up being different seasons. One of the other women on the course had very similar hair and skin colouring to me, but we turned out to look good in completely different colours.

It was a very self indulgent and altogether pleasurable thing to do - and sometimes we need these little pick me ups .

And yes, I have been wearing a lot of 'cool' blues that have probably been making me look too pale (I always struggle not to look ill or tired!) - so now I'm stocking up on warm shades, such as teal, olive, forest green and so on. It's fun.

Have to be out of the house by 8am tomorrow to get DS2 to the dr for a check up on his weight, then get him up to school and get myself back to the dentist by 10. Am really not looking forward to the root-canal treatment, especially as the other side of my mouth is still sore. I won't be able to eat on either side after that!

MIL's birthday is tomorrow, so we're having her round for tea in the afternoon. And it's Friday - phew. Could do with a break from the school run.

Am wide awake, but will regret it if I don't get at least seven hours' sleep before morning. Night all.

Just spotted your post, Silly. So sorry to hear that . And on your craft night too!