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Original poster

Is it my duty to iron shirts?

66 replies

BoyMeetsWorld · 12/01/2013 09:28

Didn't want to post this in feminism as I'm genuinely not sure either way.

DH believes I should iron all his work shirts (5 per week). Currently I do all the washing but don't iron anything - I use the 'cupboard dry' setting on our washer, DC & my stuff never really creases & if it does I iron at the time we want to wear it. DH's shirts are the only issue.

Now...I work full time, am paid very nearly the same as DH. As mentioned I do all the washing & a lot of the housework (although he does the majority of cooking as he's simply better than me & most of the driving). In general, we split chores pretty well. This is the one bugbear.

Is it really my duty to iron his shirts weekly, or should he do it himself?

OP posts:
NotMostPeople · 12/01/2013 09:30

He should do it himself, I don't see any reason why it would fall to anyone else. Actually if my DH told me it was my duty I'd be seriously pissed off.

Hassled · 12/01/2013 09:31

You work full time and he thinks it's your duty? Really? He's bloody nuts. There's no fucking way you should be ironing his shirts.

Bearandcub · 12/01/2013 09:31

He should do it himself!

This is a joke isn't it? I realise I'm like a huge flappy mouth fish being reeled right in but your DUTY, seriously?!?

IHeartKingThistle · 12/01/2013 09:32

I'm a SAHM and DH doesn't expect me to do his.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 12/01/2013 09:32

Even if.you SAHM why would you be duty boubd to iron his shirts?

Ask him if it is his duty to iron your workwear?

Please tell.me you don't make him a packed lunch.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 12/01/2013 09:33

I'm a SAHM and my DH would never tell me it's my duty to do anything! That's ridiculous.

trixymalixy · 12/01/2013 09:33

Is it fuck your duty!!

Jas · 12/01/2013 09:36

I can see that if you ironed everything anyway, it would be reasonable for DH to ask you to do his shirts at the same time, but as you (like me) don't iron unless absolutely necessary, I would tell him that if he wants his shirts ironed, he can do it himself.

TBH, being told it was my "duty" would ensure I never ironed a shirt of his, regardless of what else I did or didn't do.

hermioneweasley · 12/01/2013 09:37

"duty" ?!

I work full time and DW is a SAHM. I do all the family ironing. And we have a cleaner.

IDontDoIroning · 12/01/2013 09:39

Ha ha ha ha ha. Obviously he thinks that the secret of getting that nice crisp cotton is have a vagina other wise the iron doesn't work.

If HE wants iron shirts HE irons them. I don't iron my dhs shirts ( in fact I iron as little as possible much like OP). I work ft and have 3 dc.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 12/01/2013 09:40

OP the solution to this is very simple; just don't do them.

MrsGeologist · 12/01/2013 09:43

Ha ha ha ha! I'm a SAHM and the only thing I iron is DS's school shirts. If DH wants a shirt ironed, he does it himself.

Duty, my arse. It's your duty to point him in the direction of the ironing board and iron, and tell him to do it himself.

Bonsoir · 12/01/2013 09:45

No, it is not your duty to iron your DH's shirts! You can if you want, if you think that to do so would contribute to the fair distribution of labour in your household or if you think that the gesture would improve your marriage (from both your and his POVs).

Grumpla · 12/01/2013 09:46

What is there to be unsure about?

MadameJosephine · 12/01/2013 09:47

He's a grown man, for goodness' sake! He should be ashamed of himself

13Iggis · 12/01/2013 09:53

That is so weird. Really expecting you to say you were SAHM and even then wouldn't think you had to do it unless he did lots of other housework - as two full-time workers he hasn't a hope. You have made sensible decision to avoid ironing your own clothes, he could do that too surely (no-iron shirts in M&S believe?).

Duty? Wtaf!

msrisotto · 12/01/2013 09:53

Are you unsure whether we live in the 1950s? Of course it is not your duty, that language is downright degrading. Interesting comment about not posting in feminism Hmm.

Boggler · 12/01/2013 09:54

Shirts need to be ironed but not by anyone in particular. Send them out to be done if dh won't iron his own.

BettySuarez · 12/01/2013 09:56

Eh?

CailinDana · 12/01/2013 09:56

Is this for real? I'm a SAHM and don't even wash DH's clothes, never mind iron them! Does he expect you to brush his hair and clean his teeth for him too?

Have you asked him why it's your duty to iron the shirts? I'd love to know his "logic".

Original poster
BoyMeetsWorld · 12/01/2013 09:57

Haha thanks all, you've confirmed exactly how I feel about it but I was really starting to doubt myself.

In his defence, he's never used the term "duty" (that's just what it comes down to) & hadn't told me I HAVE to do them, just constantly makes little snipey remarks about it. As I said, in all other ways we share everything pretty equally.

I think part of it is his own mother was superwoman - household breadwinner, 5 kids, cooked, cleaned, ironed underpants. You get the picture. But that just really isn't me...

OP posts:
yani · 12/01/2013 09:57

It sounds as though you have a reasonable split of chores.

So yanbu, he should definitely iron his own bloody shirts.

yani · 12/01/2013 09:58

Or take them to his mum to do Wink

Fairylea · 12/01/2013 10:01

I'm a sahm and I do iron dhs shirts because I have time to do it. However if I don't have time he would do it.

Especially as you are working full time it's definitely not your responsibility!

Jinsei · 12/01/2013 10:03

Of course it isn't your duty! He is an adult, and if his shirts need ironing, I'm sure he can find the iron himself.