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Housekeeping

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Original poster

Is it my duty to iron shirts?

66 replies

BoyMeetsWorld · 12/01/2013 09:28

Didn't want to post this in feminism as I'm genuinely not sure either way.

DH believes I should iron all his work shirts (5 per week). Currently I do all the washing but don't iron anything - I use the 'cupboard dry' setting on our washer, DC & my stuff never really creases & if it does I iron at the time we want to wear it. DH's shirts are the only issue.

Now...I work full time, am paid very nearly the same as DH. As mentioned I do all the washing & a lot of the housework (although he does the majority of cooking as he's simply better than me & most of the driving). In general, we split chores pretty well. This is the one bugbear.

Is it really my duty to iron his shirts weekly, or should he do it himself?

OP posts:

clam · 12/01/2013 10:04

Send them out to an ironing service? That's what I we do.
And re: the snipey remarks, perfect a few snippy retorts back. Repeat until he gets the message and stops.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 12/01/2013 10:07

The snipey PA-ness would annoy me so.much!!

Get him told.

strumpetpumpkin · 12/01/2013 10:08

no, it is not your duty.

noblegiraffe · 12/01/2013 10:11

If he wants his shirts ironed then he can either do them himself or arrange to pay someone else to do them. His shirts = his problem as ironing is not your chore as nothing else is ironed.

ivykaty44 · 12/01/2013 10:16

Is it really my duty to iron his shirts weekly, or should he do it himself?

If a person doesn't want to iron their own shirts or clothes they will either have to suck it up and do the job any way, find someone they can pay to do the job or wear unironed clothing.

Three choices to choose from

t0lk13n · 12/01/2013 10:19

I can`t believe you have to ask....unless he is disabled! I iron my own clothes and my husband iron his and the boys! We both work fulltime but he works shifts and will do most stuff re the house when I am in work. I do my bit at the weekend.

EuroShagmore · 12/01/2013 11:55

Send them out if this is your only domestic bugbear. It really doesn't cost that much and might be a price worth paying for domestic harmony!

(And no, of course it isn't your duty!)

stargirl1701 · 12/01/2013 11:59

No. It is not your duty. This is 2013 not 1813. He is an adult. He should iron his own shirts.

The only duty in a marriage is to love and respect each other.

Original poster

BoyMeetsWorld · 12/01/2013 12:10

Actually, sending them out to do might not be such a bad idea - as you say, a small price for something that causes a silly niggle

OP posts:

motherinferior · 12/01/2013 13:10

They're his shirts. It's up to him to deal with them. If he wants to pay someone else to iron them, he can sort that out himself. I'm quite sure you have other things to bother about.

NotMostPeople · 12/01/2013 13:18

I'm a Sahm and I send my ironing out, I loathe doing it and DH said he was fed up with me being so grumpy about it so its a small price to pay all around. Also I used not to ever wear shirts or anything that would need a proper iron before and now I can.

educatingarti · 12/01/2013 13:21

You could try just ironing half of each one next time he gets snipey!

mrscog · 12/01/2013 13:25

Of course it's not your duty - DH has some jobs which he hates doing and therefore won't do. However, we deal with it by him taking care of something that I hate doing so it's like a skill exchange.

NewYearNewNagoo · 12/01/2013 13:39

Why? Why would it be down to you to iron his shirts? I want a nice crisp shirt, I put the effort in to get it.

Ironing is firmly in the 'optional extras' bracket as far as I am concerned. You don't get it as part of the standard service, other upgrades include emptying pockets, and working out what needs washing. I'm not rummaging for your dirty tissues or sniffing socks!

Chubfuddler · 12/01/2013 13:42

How can you not be sure either way about this?

humblebumble · 12/01/2013 13:45

I am a SAHM and I do everything but I will not iron shirts. Although I did once as a 30th birthday present for my DH on his birthday. One shirt. That's it.

We send his shirts out as he is pretty rubbish at ironing too.

VestaCurry · 12/01/2013 13:46

Who the hell does he think he is? What century does he think he lives in? Does he have 'arrogant tosser' tattooed across his head?
He need to pull his finger out and help you with some of the housework as well as iron his own shirts. Lazy fecker. I have never ironed dh's shirts, throughout working whether FT, PT or being a sahm Show him this thread btw.

TerraNotSoFirma · 12/01/2013 13:52

I'm a SAHM and I don't do anything exclusively excepting looking after/feeding the DC.
DH does more than his fair share of everything.
If he told me it was my duty to iron his shirts, I'd be tempted to steam his face to be honest.
(I wouldn't actually do it mind)

Trills · 12/01/2013 13:53

If you both agree that the shirts need ironing then it is a household chore that needs to be done by someone. It goes into the general splitting-up-of-chores.

If you disagree about whether the shirts need ironing then it is up to the person who thinks they need ironing to iron them, and this does not count towards their share of household chores.

The gender of the people involved is not relevant.

ClaraOswinOswald · 12/01/2013 14:30

DH irons his own shirts most weeks as we both work and I hate ironing. I iron most other stuff as he hates ironing too. It works out about equal.

DD loves ironing so we are training her up. :)

dreamingbohemian · 12/01/2013 14:35

It's just bizarre. I can't think of any logical reason why he would think that way.

Mummy did it is not a logical reason btw.

DontmindifIdo · 12/01/2013 15:09

DH's mother ironed everything and was a perfect woman. I only work part time, but don't do his shirts.

Tell him you don't think it should be your job to iron his shirts, if you have anything you want ironed, you'll iron it, but he can do his own, or if he wants to arrange paying someone if he doesn't want to do his job, then fine. (Don't agree this is your job to arrange, drop off or collect shirts for ironing, him having clothes to wear to work is his job, you get your DCs ready in the mornings, he gets himself ready - that seems fair in that you aren't actually his mother)

timidviper · 12/01/2013 15:11

I used to do DH's shirts when I was a SAHM but since taking work, albeit part-time, he has taken a slightly larger role in the household chores and irons his own shirts as part of that. He used to do DC's school shirts at the same time when they wore them.

ggirl · 12/01/2013 15:27

I have a friend who works as many hrs as her dh and she does absolutely everything around the house, and irons for the whole family (21yr and 19yr olds!)
Always moaning about how busy she is..I've given up trying to persaude her to stop ..she never will.
There are women out there who actually do everything regardless of how much they work outside the home.
Bizarre but true.

tribpot · 12/01/2013 15:47

Since he does all the cooking, OP, this is the equivalent of you saying "it's not enough to get dinner on the table every night, I want AT LEAST once a week and I reserve the right to snipe about it if you don't do it'. Would that be reasonable? No. There is a minimum 'level of service' that a chore-doer needs to fulfil (i.e. if you do the cooking, there needs to be food of reasonably good quality and variation, if you do the washing, it needs to be done so the clothes are reasonably wearable and available) but premium service comes with a premium price tag!

Whilst his expectations need to be appropriately adjusted (let him send the bloody things out to an ironing service) the attitude problem needs looking at as well.

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