Expensive mattress mistake. Feel so stuck and stupid.

[PickledElectricity]

We bought a hybrid mattress from Dreams in January. Medium firm. DP really wanted something "soft and cozy" and of course now can't sleep on it because he sinks into it and it's giving him all kinds of back and neck issues, so he's in the spare room.

The bed is fine for me, but then again I weigh less.

Currently co-sleeping with 5 month old baby so it's not really an active issue, but I would like to share a bed with DP again at some point and eventually the spare room will become DS's.

We spent £1,700 on this mattress so we're both finding it really difficult to admit we need to get rid of the mattress and spend more money. DP keeps blaming the pillow, but we've tried 3 different ones at this point.

The bloody thing was supposed to be an investment because our previous IKEA mattress lasted 8 years! So the thinking was get something expensive good which will last 10/15+ years.

Feel so stuck and stupid.

Could you get a firm mattress topper?

There will be deals on over Black Friday and in the new year.
Bed companies often do comfort exchanges within a time frame.
Can you swap the mattress for another one in your house?

They had a 100 night guarantee service on mattresses so if its been a problem for a while you could have returned it for a new one. I guess you've passed that time limit now which is a shame.

We made the same mistake getting rid of our old ikea mattress and investing in a 'better' one from Dreams. It gave me horrendous hip and lower back pain. I honestly wanted to burn the bloody thing. Couldn't justify replacing it as it cost so much but I hated going to bed 😭 After putting up with it for a few months I bought a Panda mattress topper. It changed my sleep overnight and now I can't wait to go to bed and no pain at all. The topper was a last ditch attempt for us and I am so glad it paid off. It was another expense but much cheaper than a new mattress again and I just couldn't face throwing £1500 away with the rubbish investment piece we'd bought.

Doesn’t sound ideal for a cosleeping 5MO either if it’s a mattress you sink into rather than a firm one. I might be tempted to try an ikea firm mattress topper before replacing altogether and see if that helps.

Agree with others. A topper may extend the life of that mattress. I had to do the same thing with an Emma mattress I bought few years ago. Managed to put up with it for about 4 years. Absolutely loathed it

We have a similar problem.... having spent literalky months looking for the perfect mattress, we decided on a firm ikea one. When DH went to purchase it he bought the same mattress but a much softer one. It's fine for him but I couldn't get in or out due to my back issues. I have an mdf board under my half which made a big difference so may be worth a try for you. I am interested in the mattress topper idea as that might actually sort it without having to replace it. Thanks

Funnily enough, we previously had a £1700 mattress from John Lewis - and went on holiday to an Airbnb with an ikea mattress and had the absolute best sleep for the two weeks of the holiday! We came back home and bought an ikea one instead! (Our £1700 mattress was around 8 years old at that time anyway, so ready for a new one). Expensive doesn’t always mean better!

We have a divan base, so it's a solid base anyway!

Definitely look in to mattress toppers. Well worth the money !

It's maddening!!

To add insult to injury we had a series of financial issues after we bought the new mattress as well!

If we'd just have bought alter cheap IKEA one we'd have had an extra grand and been much more ok!

my mattress came from bensons for beds. It’s 9 years old now, but when we bought it we went in and laid on a bed and they did some kind of magic to work out what kind of mattress was best for us. And it is literally the best mattress and still going strong. It’s a silent night one.

Had a similar experience, not quite as expensive, but bought a new mattress and hated it. Mostly because it made us both hot. I think it took nearly two years before we cracked and got rid of it. Love the new mattress thank god!

Hi some advice/suggestions please. In a similar situation.We have a beautiful SK bed that I loved but since having DD in October I’ve had terrible back pain and she sleeps best when co sleeping. Following all lullaby trusts guidance on safe sleeping however the mattress in my mind feels too soft. The spare room has a double mattress that is firm but it’s absolutely freezing in there. We’ve tried it.
The super long mattress is 40cm. Deep.

do we bring the double mattress into the main room on the floor( DH also doesn’t want to miss out on these precious newborn sleep deprived months!)

buy a firm mattress topper in same size as SK?

buy a mattress topper that covers just half the bed?

if we buy a toppr next issue is finding fitted sheets that go over to 50cm depth.

before DD these things didn’t matter but I am so paranoid about SIDS I want to do it right l. Also can’t think straight to make a decision as I’m so sleep deprived but don’t want to make an expensive mistake

Most matress manufacturers offer quite lengthy trial periods, does this company not?

I have been sleeping on a mattress I hate for several years now. I bought a feather topper and a Panda topper and use both. It’s still too hard but I’ve managed to sleep in it this long. I’ve had back pain and hip pain even so. I recently slept on our old mattress which was a king size in another room and couldn’t believe how much more comfortable it is. We sleep in a super size now but I want the old bed moved back and to get rid of this one and the awful mattress. I can’t sell the bed or the mattress and they were both very expensive. Getting the right bed and mattress is so difficult. I’m getting to the point that I would just give them away.

Today I gave in and let DP flip it. He's been wanting to do it for ages but I was reluctant to do this as it'll likely "destroy" the foam topper that's sewn on, but as he's pointed out it's likely going to the skip anyway if this doesn't work.

We were on holiday and had a "horrible" hard mattress and I didn't snore and his back was fine, so big contrast to our current set up.

Anyway, it feels much firmer!! Significantly less sinking. I will be going to bed in excitement tonight. Really really hope this is the answer.

I think I'll also look at unpicking the sewn on foam topper

He must get used to it or dump it and take responsibility for the sunk costs fallacy

We are in the same boat. Finally changed our mattress.
I was so happy as it had begun to sag and I need a firm mattress. DH not fussy.
We bought a King Koil mattress. Supposedly firm but what they didn’t tell us in the shop was that it can’t be turned over like mattresses were in the past.
It can only be rotated top end to bottom end.
I was so careful with our last mattress, always turning it over so it would retain its firmness, the delivery guys taking it away couldn’t believe the condition of it considering how old it was - 25 years approximately.
Within months the new mattress sagged. Despite it being rotated every fortnight.
The mattress manufacturer sent their inspector out and he found nothing wrong with it - he would say that wouldn’t he !
It’s about 4 years old and is actually falling apart.
Mattress manufacturers are now making mattresses that now last half the amount of time they did in the past as most of them can’t be turned over, just rotated. ☹️
Easy money.

Yes easy to say but difficult to accept you're throwing away basically £2,000, then paying for a new mattress on top of that.

@Cannesdo oh how awful! Did you just flip the old mattress, or also rotate it?

I always flipped over the old mattress and also rotated it at every sheet change. Hence it lasted so long and as I always used a waterproof mattress cover it looked fairly pristine too.

I just came on to thank you for your thread! I read it this morning and mentioned it to my DH. We also bought an expensive mattress, only ours was supposed to be firm and it isn't. I wanted to return it within the window but DH didn't want the hassle; he put so much effort into researching mattresses and I think was just too disappointed/deflated at the time to go back to the drawing board. We just flipped it on to the wrong side after reading your thread. It now feels as firm as I would want to go for. Perfect! Fresh bedding too today, looking forward to a good night's sleep!

Buying mattresses and pillows needs to be easier.

Geez… £1,700! I’m still sleeping on my 10 year old Ikea £300 mattress and wouldn’t swap it for anything - and yes I do clean it with the carpet cleaner every year.

Edited - I just re-read the OP.

Really helpful post, Thanks!