I know this isn't what you asked, but your first para -
"has had a lot of problems during the course which he didn't tell us anything about until he was in a real mess! He's already had to repeat one year while telling us he was doing really well.Then he spent the money we gave him for fees etc and asked us for more"
could have been about me when I was there. It must be awful that he has lied to you, but fwiw I found Oxford a very alienating place, and the thrill of my parents that I got in, plus their expectations, made it even harder, especially to be honest with them about how tough I found it. The last thing I wanted was to disappoint them, or let them down. So I lied...
If its any help, the minute I left there, my relationship with my parents changed, and has been great ever since.
I don't know how you find out his result though, sorry. We had to look on the board...
I hope it gets better for you.